JESUS SAID TO HIS DISCIPLES: MAKE A COMPARISON TO ME AND TELL ME WHOM I AM LIKE.
SIMON PETER SAID TO HIM: THOU ART LIKE A RIGHTEOUS ANGEL.
MATTHEW SAID TO HIM: THOU ART LIKE A WISE MAN OF UNDERSTANDING.
THOMAS SAID TO HIM: MASTER, MY MOUTH WILL NOT BE CAPABLE OF SAYING WHOM
THOU ART LIKE.
JESUS SAID: I AM NOT THY MASTER, BECAUSE THOU HAST DRUNK, THOU HAST BECOME
DRUNK FROM THE BUBBLING SPRING WHICH I HAVE MEASURED OUT.
AND HE TOOK HIM, HE WITHDREW, HE SPOKE THREE WORDS TO HIM.
NOW WHEN THOMAS CAME TO HIS COMPANIONS, THEY ASKED HIM: WHAT DID JESUS SAY
THOMAS SAID TO THEM: IF I TELL YOU ONE OF THE WORDS HE SAID TO ME, YOU WILL TAKE UP STONES AND THROW AT ME; AND FIRE WILL COME FROM THE STONES AND BURN YOU UP.
Whenever there is a man like Jesus or Buddha, you try to escape from him in every possible way because he is just like a death to you. Of course, you will rationalize your escape, you will find clever reasons why you are escaping. You will argue in your mind, "That man is not a Christ, that man is not yet enlightened." You will find something wrong in that man, so that you can feel at ease. You will avoid that man. It is dangerous to encounter him because he can live, he can see through you; you become transparent to him. You cannot hide yourself from him, you cannot hide the falseness that you are - before him, you are just like an open book.
And your whole life you have been hiding. Your whole life you have been trying to live a false, inauthentic life; you have been living in lies, and he will see through you. Before him you will become a trembling leaf; before him you will be reduced to your truth; before him you cannot manage your false image - he will be a catastrophe. So only those who are very courageous can come near to a Jesus. The greatest courage is needed to come near a man like Jesus. That means you are ready to take the jump into the abyss, you are ready to lose yourself.
To move with Jesus in the insecurity of the unknown, in the uncharted, in the ocean where the other shore is not visible, tremendous courage is needed. And this is the problem: very few will follow Jesus. Those who escape, they will miss him, and they will miss the very meaning of their own lives, because deep down, when you try to escape Jesus, you are trying to escape from your own truth.
He is nothing but your future - you are a seed, he is the tree; he has come to bloom, he is your future, he is your possibility. Escaping from him, you are escaping from your own ultimate possibility.
But those who come near, it is not certain that they will encounter Jesus just by coming near. Those who escape, they have escaped - finished! But those who come near, live near, even living near they can avoid Jesus, because they can be near him for the wrong reasons. So, out of thousands, few will choose him. And those few who choose him, they will not all be with him for the right reasons.
And those who are with him for the wrong reasons will also miss him.
You can be with an enlightened person for the wrong reasons. Look for the reasons why you seek:
why do you go to a master? What are your real reasons? Are you seeking truth? Rarely is a man seeking truth. You may be seeking happiness, but not truth. Happiness happens when truth is achieved. But if you are seeking happiness you cannot achieve truth, because happiness is a byproduct; you cannot achieve it directly, there is no way to it - it comes via truth. If you reach the true, happiness will happen; it is a shadow, it comes with the truth. But if you seek happiness, then happiness is not possible and truth is missed.
Out of one hundred seekers, ninety-nine are for happiness. They have suffered - life has been a misery, much pain: they are seeking the antidote, they are seeking the opposite. To be with a Jesus or a Buddha in search of happiness is to miss him again, because your eyes are closed. Happiness can never be the goal; it is achieved, it comes automatically, you need not bother about it. It is always a byproduct: you simply take care of the tree, and flowers come. You need not go directly to the flowers - if you do, you will miss. If you are after flowers you will miss; but if you take care of the tree, flowers come in their own time. You need not worry, you need not even think about them.
In your ordinary existence also this is known, but you never make it a deep experience. Whenever you are happy.... You have been happy for a few moments; it is difficult to find a man who has not been happy even for a few moments - because if you have never been happy for a few moments, if you have never tasted happiness, then you cannot seek it. Then why would you search for happiness? Without having tasted it, how could you make it a goal? You have tasted it. It was momentary, a glimpse - and then again darkness; a glimpse - and then again anguish. The morning comes only for a moment, and then midnight again. You have tasted it, but you have not entered into it. How does it happen? Try to enter into it.
Whenever you feel happy, you were not looking for it. That is the first basic thing about happiness:
it happened when you were looking for something else. For example, you have heard the story of Archimedes: he was in search of a scientific truth. He worked, experimented, thought, pondered over it many days and nights. He forgot himself. Then suddenly, when he was in his bath one day, lying down in his tub, it happened, it bubbled up - he realized. He was naked, but he forgot that he was naked. When you are happy you forget yourself; if you cannot forget yourself you are not happy.
Happiness means you are no longer there; it happens only when you are not.
The problem was solved, the whole tension relaxed. Archimedes ran into the street shouting, "Eureka, Eureka! I have found it, I have found it!" People thought he had gone mad. They had always been suspicious of this man, this Archimedes, and now their suspicion was proved right.
"Too much thinking is bad" - they had always been of this opinion, and this man was thinking too much. Now he had gone mad and was crying, "Eureka!" on the street - "I have found it!"
What happened? How ecstatic he was in that moment! And it was not the ultimate truth, it was just an ordinary problem. Now it is ordinary - once discovered, scientific truths become ordinary, common. But he discovered it. In that moment of discovery, all tension relaxed, and he was so happy, so ecstatic, that he forgot himself. Whenever you are happy, the first basic thing is to remember that you were searching for something else, not for happiness. If you search for happiness directly, you will miss it forever and forever. It is a byproduct: you are engaged in search of something else, and then that something else is discovered. The discovery makes you so fulfilled, the whole effort relaxes, the whole tension goes; you are at ease, at peace, at rest, and you feel filled with happiness. Happiness is a byproduct.
The second thing to remember: if you seek after it, how can you lose yourself? The seeker can never lose himself; the ego remains, you remain a point of reference. Whenever happiness happens, you are not there. Remember moments of happiness: you were not there. It may have happened in a deep love, it may have happened in a discovery, or it may have happened just when you were playing cards, but you became so lost... suddenly the upsurge! Anything can trigger it, but a direct search is dangerous because you will miss it.
If you come to a master in search of happiness, you are near him for the wrong reasons. Then you remain hidden in your wrong reason. You remain close physically, spiritually there is much distance.
Your eyes are blind, you will not be able to know this man, Jesus or Buddha. It is impossible, because your eyes are filled with the wrong goals.
Or you may not even be in search of happiness, there are even lower goals. You may be near a master to attain power, you may be near him to attain some siddhi, you may be near him to attain a more egoistic state; then you will miss him completely. There are even lower aims. And the lower the aim, the more possibility there is of missing because then you are more blind. You may be near him just for very ordinary reasons like seeking health. You are ill and Jesus will cure you: or you are poor and Jesus will give you money - his blessings will become money to you; or you don't have a child and he can give you a child.
The lower the aim, the more you will miss, because the lower the aim, the more you are in the deep valley - and Jesus exists on the top of the hill: the distance goes on becoming more and more.
Many have escaped, but those who have come near, not all of them have come near either - only one who comes for the right reason. And that right reason is truth. But why do you never seek it?
Truth seems to be so bare, truth seems to be so dry, there seems to be no urge to seek it. Happiness seems worthwhile, and if I insist, "Seek truth and happiness will be the byproduct," you may even agree to seek the truth, because the byproduct, happiness, will be there. But you are still seeking happiness. If you come to know that to seek happiness, truth has to be sought, you may start seeking truth - but you are not seeking truth, your mind remains focused on happiness. That focusing is wrong.
Only when you are a truth-seeker do you come near Jesus, Buddha, Zarathustra; otherwise you never come near. For any other reason you are near physically; spiritually, you are very, very far away - vast spaces exist.
The Mustard Seed