Meet the Author- Zarghuna Kargar

While the unfairness of the male dominated society and the injustice toward women in this world, continues to be hot topic of debate in the subcontinent, Zarghuna Kargar, in her book Dear Zari, highlights the plight of women in Afghanistan

This meet-up will be an eye opener for everyone who takes their freedom for granted. The format of the meet-up will be similar to the other "Meet the Author" meet-ups. We will start with a general Q&A about the Author and her book, then expand the discussion to broader issues such as Women’s equality, Afghanistan and how to change the world.

  

 

Dear Zari: Hidden Stories from Women of Afghanistan

Is Zarghuna's first book, available as a paperback and on Kindle, only 280 pages of simple, captivating text, so should be easy to read before the meet-up.

The Author

Zarghuna Kargar was born in Kabul in 1982, at which time her father was minister for information. When the Mujahideen came to power they fled for Pakistan for refuge.

Zarghuna completed her education in Peshawar in Pakistan: she studied at a refugee university and attended a journalism course organised by the BBC. Then in 2001 her family sought asylum in the UK, and she started working for the BBC World Service Pashto Section. She joined the team on the ground-breaking programme Afghan Woman's Hour as producer and presenter in 2004, until it was discontinued in 2010.

 

Zarghuna now works on current affairs programmes for the BBC Afghan Service, frequently covering topics relating to women's issues. Zarghuna is part of the Girl Rising project, dedicated to educating girls around the world - http://girlrising.com/. She lives in London.

 

More about her life:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/may/14/arranged-marriage-afghan-womans-hour

 

The Book

Moving, enlightening, heart-breaking - Dear Zari gives voice to the secret lives of women across Afghanistan and allows them to tell their stories in their own words: from the child bride given as payment to end a family feud; to a life spent in a dark, dusty room weaving carpets; to a young girl being brought up as a boy; to life as a widow shunned by society. Intimate, emotional, often painful but at times uplifting, these thirteen stories uncover how the customs of this deeply religious and intensely traditional society can cause real suffering for many women.

'Dear Zari' is Zarghuna Kargar, an Afghan woman now living in London, with an incredible story of her own; growing up in war-torn Kabul, she and her family fled to Pakistan shortly before the Taliban took power, and in 2001 Zarghuna moved to the UK to begin a new life. Presenting the BBC World Service programme Afghan Women's Hour, Zarghuna was part of a profoundly influential project that gave support, education and encouragement to millions of women and men across Afghanistan. For several years Afghan Women's Hour aired discussions, covering difficult - often taboo - subjects, and Zarghuna heard from hundreds of women eager to share their stories. It is these life stories which have inspired her to write this book. She is a brave and compassionate advocate for these women, and gives hope and reassurance to so many by bringing their experiences into the light for the first time.

The Review – (From the independent)

In recent years, the lot of many Afghan women has improved considerably, but their repression continues unabated in certain parts of the country. Arranged marriages are still the norm and many women are denied a basic education.

As Zarghuna Kargar notes in her absorbing collection of life stories: "Cultural roots run deep in Afghanistan and many people believe in them completely, often more than they do in Islamic faith."

The stories are drawn from the radio programme Afghan Women's Hour, produced by Kargar from 2004 to 2010, and they cover such controversial issues as the "exchange" and sale of child brides, rape, honour and virginity, and the pressures on women to produce a son. Some of the most poignant stories are those of the widows and divorced women, who find themselves shunned by their own families: "Becoming a widow in a traditional society like Afghanistan means you lose the right to talk freely, you lose the right to put on make-up and dress up."

In certain parts of Afghanistan, women are not allowed to work outside the home, so they become carpet weavers. Samira's story describes how their babies are sedated with opium to allow the women to concentrate on their work.

One of the most heartbreaking stories is Wazma's account of the disintegration of what had been a happy marriage after she loses a leg in a rocket attack. She discovers that her husband no longer wants her when he realises she is permanently disabled, claiming she is unfit to look after their daughter.

Kargar's family was forced to leave Kabul during the civil war and interwoven throughout the book are reflections on her own experiences: the childhood trauma of living though conflict (after witnessing a school friend's death, Kargar was given electroconvulsive therapy for depression); life as a refugee in Pakistan and Britain; and an unhappy arranged marriage followed by a painful divorce.

All the stories in Dear Zari illustrate the suffering caused by deeply ingrained Afghan traditions. Although women now have a voice – there are more than 60 female members of parliament – boys continue to be valued more than girls, parents still force their daughters into marriages, and most women remain dependent on the men in their family. But their bravery and resilience shines though and Kargar touchingly reveals how hearing others' life stories finally gave her the courage to share her own.

And the reaction from the readers

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14296736-dear-zari

 

 

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  • Neel

    Would someone be kind enough to put a brief write-up about how the meetup went? Couldn't attend, but quite curious to know what was discussed

    May 1, 2013

  • Clare

    Very intersting, as always huge thanks to Vineet for arranging. Really engaging speaker.

    April 30, 2013

  • Mehreen K.

    interesting and inspiring.

    April 28, 2013

  • Malvinder

    Very interesting afternoon. Enjoyed the discussion and the dinner after was simply sensational. Thank You Vineet.

    April 28, 2013

  • Terry

    Stimulating and inspirational. Thanks Vineet for organising a great talk.

    April 28, 2013

  • Amrit S.

    Thanks for the link Malcolm. It was a good meet yesterday and the author a delight to listen to.

    April 28, 2013

  • Amrit S.

    A good meet. Having not been to one in ages I'm glad I went yesterday. Meeting the author is always a privilege.

    1 · April 28, 2013

  • Vinita

    An interesting and lively discussion, thanks Zari.

    April 28, 2013

  • Malcolm

    Inspiring talk and book. Will be donating to the charity for Girl's education. http://girlrising.com/see-the-film/#take-action-donate

    April 27, 2013

  • Sunita

    Inspirational author and quite brave, although she made it sound so easy. Very well structured and organized.

    3 · April 27, 2013

  • Yasmin R.

    I'm really sorry but i will have to decline again but i have had a family bereavement.

    April 26, 2013

    • Vineet

      Yasmin , if you could please change your RSVP if you are not coming.

      April 26, 2013

  • Vineet

    The Saturday - Meet the Author , event is only 2 days away, so I wanted to kick-off a discussion on the book and start collating some questions we can ask the Author .. here is a starter for 10, the person who come up with the best question gets a prize.

    1. Were there never any feel-good uplifting stories on Afghan Women's hour, or were all of them as sad and depressing as the ones in the book

    2. What will an Afghan man consider to be worse, a) his wife is not a virgin? b) his wife looses a leg c) his wife doesn't produce any sons?

    3. Who is in a worse situtation , A gay man forced to marry a woman to save face or a woman who is married to a gay man without being told he is gay.

    April 25, 2013

  • Agnes

    I really feel awfully sorry that I again have to decline participation; unanticipated visit of a family member from my country... Have a nice time!

    April 22, 2013

  • Rina

    I am so gutted to be missing this, but I will be away at a friend's wedding. You really should reschedule.......

    April 19, 2013

  • Saima

    Hey , is anyone coming from South East London ? Not familiar with the public transport , so was thinking if i could join someone half way through . :-s

    April 4, 2013

    • Vineet

      Saima, the venue is near Oxford Street, easy to find. It is one of the easiest places to come by public transport.

      April 5, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I heard Zarghuna speak at Asia House. She's good. this is also my first event with this group where I can attend so looking forward to meet all of you.

    March 6, 2013

  • Yasmin R.

    Really looking forward to this as i interviewed women from Afghanistan for my research into polygamy which has recently been published.

    March 4, 2013

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Rafaël

We just grab a coffee and speak French. Some people have been coming every week for months... it creates a kind of warmth to the group.

Rafaël, started French Conversation Group

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