Samurai Cop

A mullet is more than a haircut, more than just business in the front, party on the back people.

The mullet carries with it certain mystical powers. The dark, almost sinister powers of a mullet can turn a man to a god-like beast. I saw a video where mullet mojo gave a man the power to play TWO saxophones AT THE SAME TIME dude.

For real.

I theorize that it is quite possible a mullet carries with it more power than any one man can bare.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like, say, what would happen if a Samurai had a mullet? I mean..that samurai must turn into some kind of bad ass hell hound no?

I need imagine no further:

SAMURAI COP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A taste of the dialogue:

Washington: God! Man, look what they done to my car. Captain Roman's going to burn my ass.
Samurai: Yeah, he's gonna burn it ... charcoal black!
Washington: It is black!
Samurai: Right on!
[They high five]

But wait! There's more!!! Here's an inventory of what this movie includes:

"9 breasts, 54 dead people, eye gouging, multiple throat slitting, threatened crotch torture, 2 explosions, 5 running gun fights, head rolls, arm rolls, gratuitous circumcision chatting, head bashing, army slicing, gangster road kill, flaming getaway driver, 2 samurai sword fights, 5 kung fu scenes, gratuitous gay Costa Rican waiter, Cameron the hot female who fights all her fights in stiletto heels and one of the the funniest sword fights ever."
( from the commentary)

How could you NOT say this movie is full of AWESOME???

 

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Diane's notes:

Oh, shoot. I just realized that I haven't done my duty here. I haven't played my bad cop against Julian's good cop. I haven't read you your rights, and so on and so forth.

Doors open at 7p. Movie starts sometime between 7:30 & 8p. Usually, it starts at 8p--um, OK, that hasn't always been strictly enforced because conversation was running rampant and not all who RSVPed had presented themselves. But I'll do my best to uphold 8p as the latest possible show time. If everyone is twiddling thumbs prior to 8p, the movie will start earlier, especially if we suspect a guest has decided to go on the lam.

You have the right to riff. Anything you say or do will be held against the movie and your ability to court favor amongst other BMNers. You have a right to have an attorney present, but you'd better have plus1-ed that sucker in. If you can't afford an attorney, you'll be appointed some sort of something that will uphold your keister in front of (& possibly a bit to the side of) the TV. Most importantly, it's BMN, so... Cheese it, the cops!

Speaking of cheese... how about a cheese burger? No, on second thought, how about a bacon, cheese burger? I'll attest to having recently put chuck through a grind & then on ice to do this. I believe I'll have enough time to make buns & pick up adequate toppings. Perhaps I'll even invent some sort of Samurai sauce to put on them if I get enough time to mull it over.

Will anyone volunteer to stop by Psycho Donuts to get dessert?

Thursday night I'll send my address to those committed to the line up and post a comment so you can look for that email message.

 

 

A MESSAGE TO WAITLISTERS

Past experience is that a large number of attendees will bow out, last minute. This means you're very likely to be able to attend. It also means that someone further down in the wait list will be denied a spot if you give up on your chance, but don't bother to edit your RSVP. So I'm asking you to please, take yourself off the wait list when you make your last visit to the site before the event day/time.

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4/18 Updates

Hmm, I'm noting the number of folks still on the wait list and thinking it's enough reason to suit up in my favorite leather outfit and get serious about playing bad cop here (and, no, a real cop doesn't dress like this or carry a whip--it just makes yelling commands more fun for me).

NO SHOWS WON'T BE TOLERATED. Before you start your journey to the meetup, be very sure that you have good directions, a charged cell phone, & our contact number (you'll be sent that # & my address via email pretty soon if you're on the confirmed list--anyone who is moved to the confirmed list later will receive that info as soon as I notice). If you'll be using a GPS device and its something other than Garmin's brand or Verizon's App, double check that it locates the same place as Google or Yahoo Maps does (WARNING: Magellan has hijacked its users to a place very far away from my address).

I bet you're wondering what will happen to you if you cause someone on the wait list to miss out because you couldn't make it & couldn't inform us soon enough. Oh, not much, but you will be moved to and held at the last position on any future waitlists for my house until all others are confirmed (&, of course, there's a good deal of guilt you should be feeling over making someone else miss out). So if you feel that avoiding the punishment warrants making contingency plans (or requests for help), please be sure to do.

OK, now on to less important stuff. I'll be serving bacon cheeseburgers*. If you want one, but don't think you'll arrive until after 7:40, please let me know (I'm planning to close the kitchen at that time). The beef patties are about 5oz & one per person. If that's not enough for you, you're welcome to bring more food for yourself or to share. Tap water's on me. If you want something else, you'll need to bring it (& bring it cold if you want it that way--there's no ice in my freezer).

To dress the burgers, I'll provide buns, bacon, cheese, mayo, mustard, ketchup, horseradish sauce, salsa, chili sauce, sauerkraut, Worcestershire sauce, relish, and onions.

*I've a veggie burger patty reserved for Julian (& the rest of you can let me know if you want one instead of beef... only 3 of you will get one, but, heck, you can let me know)

Join or login to comment.

  • A former member
    A former member

    so sorry I missed this last night! I got home to an significantly injured cat.. Medicine, stitches and a couple of weeks trapped indoors and she'll be all set. Thanks for making it easy to let you all know I had to cancel last minute.

    April 20, 2013

    • Diane

      Thank you for acting responsibly toward us despite the demands your pussy was making on you.

      April 21, 2013

  • Diane

    How does one become a Samurai Cop?
    Do you need a badge?
    Do you need a sword?
    Oh, no, no, no, Grasshopper
    You only need to know this:
    Lather, rinse, repeat.
    Lather, rinse, repeat.
    And when you read Dr Seuss
    Don't be an acting ham
    You are Sam Are I
    Not Sam I Am
    (This poem is my interpretation of the movie. I totally captured its rhythm, have I not?)

    April 21, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Thanks so much for hosting, Diane!

    April 20, 2013

  • Ralph W. Miller I.

    We had a gas!

    April 20, 2013

  • Mike W

    Hairtastic!

    1 · April 19, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I'm parked in, I'm going to be a bit late

    April 19, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Ill be there!

    April 19, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      Ill be slightly late though! lol

      April 19, 2013

  • Alicia H.

    I'm at psycho donuts! If you have a favorite, now's the time to speak up.

    April 19, 2013

  • Julian

    Hello everybody! ... We do have a waiting list, so if you think you aren't able to make it, please change your RSVP accordingly. Looking forward to tonight!

    1 · April 19, 2013

  • Mike W

    Should be there around 7:30.

    April 19, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Stuff came up and it looks like I'm gonna be super busy tomorrow :( But at least one persom on the waiting list will have lots of fun in my place!

    April 18, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      Yeah, and it's my own stupid fault, too. Bad time management skills, that's me :(

      April 19, 2013

    • Julian

      I hope this is a wake up call to you Sarah! :-P

      April 19, 2013

  • Julian

    I would like to state that the possible lack of crotch torture in the movie will not be compensated for by real crotch torture in the Meetup. THIS WILL BE A CROTCH TORTURE FREE MEETUP. thank you.

    March 15, 2013

    • Alicia H.

      Pleeeease, Julian? Just a little? What if it's not your crotch?

      April 18, 2013

    • Julian

      Any takers?

      April 19, 2013

  • Diane

    D'oh, I almost forgot. I e-mailed location info out about 2 hours ago. If you didn't get it, check your junk mail for it. If there's no trace of it, post here & I'll send it to you again

    April 18, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Hi Diane, Due to a cancellation, I'm in! What can I bring in the way of food or drink? Any specific requests remain at this point? -Chrissie

    April 18, 2013

    • Diane

      If you're feeling generous, you can pick up donuts for dessert. Psycho donuts would be fab, but they're often big so getting one for each two people is perfectly acceptable &/or asking for a buck from each taker to help cover the cost is acceptable too.

      April 18, 2013

    • Alicia H.

      I love psycho donuts! I'm happy to stop there.

      April 18, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Yeah! I'm part of the in-crowd! That never happened in Junior High.

    April 18, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I won't be able to be there until about 7:30 or so (I'll try to get there sooner if I can).

    April 18, 2013

  • Michael M.

    Thinking I'm too deep in the list to make it. But you never know. Will check in tomorrow afternoon. I have always wanted to see this spectacular Z'dar-tastic film again! Thank You!

    April 18, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Crotch torture, free? or crotch, torture-free? or crotch-torture free?

    1 · April 12, 2013

    • Diane

      Now, now, the context of Jullian's post makes it clear how he'd like the evening to go. But in the interest of knowing how we might make all attendees happy, I've added a poll. However, I'm not willing to have a crotch meetup at my place so I'm not going to let attendees vote for the option that includes it. (Non-attendees can vote anyway they like since their votes won't actually count and I'm just offering a small, vicarious thrill to them)

      1 · April 12, 2013

    • Julian

      Here here to small vicarious thrills!

      1 · April 12, 2013

  • Diane

    Wait, the crotch torture is only threatened? I'm not so sure I want to bother with this one. Hmm, I guess I'll hope the eye gougings and multiple throat slittings will make up for it.

    March 15, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      Apparently it was BANNED in Germany, so that's something!

      1 · March 15, 2013

17 went

  • Julian
    Bad Movie Go-to Guy
    Event Host
  • Diane
    Bad Movie Conny Sewer, Domicile Dominatrix, Co-Organizer
    Event Host
  • Russell G.
    Official Archivist Diarymeister and Occupier
  • Victor C.
    YouTube Obscure Video Forage Expert
  • A former member
  • A former member
  • A former member
  • A former member
  • A former member
  • A former member
  • A former member
  • A former member

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Rafaël

We just grab a coffee and speak French. Some people have been coming every week for months... it creates a kind of warmth to the group.

Rafaël, started French Conversation Group

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