To support being able to act from choice, caring for ourselves and for others, John Kinyon and Ike Lasater of the Mediate Your Life (MYL) program developed a series of Intensity Exercises. Last month we focused on one of the middle steps in the exercises: being able to hear the "Please" that is often buried in what others say. Being able to hear others is the heart of empathy and a hugely important part of what we need for connection to others. It turns out that we are much better at hearing others, and connecting with others, if we first connect with ourselves, compassionately. For example, before I was introduced to self-connection, and learned to value my neediness/my yearning to contribute, I could become really frustrated when my wonderful empathy guesses weren't appreciated. Trying to discuss serious issues with loved ones, 'using NVC,' without knowing and accepting my own deep needs, could be even more disastrous. For these good reasons, all of the MYL intensity exercises start with self-connection. This month I will teach self-connection using John and Ike's Self-Connection Practice. My approach also is informed by my first self-empathy teacher, Howard Taylor, and from other teachers' descriptions: Marshall Rosenberg's equating needs to "beautiful, divine energy" and Robert Gonzales work on the "Beauty of Needs."
In April and May, we will be putting these hugely important pieces, empathy and self-connection, to work in several intensity exercises.
It may sound like this is a series, and you need to have started at the beginning, but we will keep hearing about the different pieces as we put them together in slightly different arrangements.
This Baltimore Sunday event is a monthly occurrence. It’s a workshop in that I, Hally, offer support and exercises for learning NVC concepts. It’s a practice group, because in our three hours together we consciously try to look at our passions and pains through the lens of Nonviolent Communication. It’s become a community, because that’s what happens when people keep bringing their issues, their care, and their support. We welcome new participants at any level – it’s fun when a ‘newbie’ comes and we, ‘newbies’ not so long ago, suddenly see that we’ve learned something important we can pass on, at the same time deepening our understanding in new contexts. If you're already skilled in NVC, we would enjoy sharing support and companionship. When are you available? - We use a doodle calendar each month to pick the Sunday that the most people can attend. Write to [masked] for the link to the currently active doodle calendar.
Requested fee: $15 – so far my NVC dance has yielded these as the needs behind the request: ‘appreciation’ (my efforts have value to others), ‘support’ (my costs are covered), 'ease/fun' ( $ can support rest and play, balancing the intensity of the work). I can imagine times when your needs - for choice, integrity, self-care, or you-don’t-quite-know-what, are not met by contributing the requested amount. You are welcome to come in any case.
For more information: please contact Barbra at [masked] or Hope at [masked]. The phone number for Barbra is[masked] and for Hope is[masked] 6086.