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Central London Humanists Message Board Meetings › Paraphrasing Jesus ( attempt 1 )

Paraphrasing Jesus ( attempt 1 )

Peter F.
user 10387965
Maidstone, GB
Post #: 176
Paraphrasing Jesus - have any of you tried to update Bible/Koran/Torah/Tanak passages ?

I had a go at re-phrasing a Jesus parable … I’d like some feedback from you guys:


Parable of the Pharisee and Tax Collector Luke 18:9 ( New Living Translation )

9 Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else:

10 “Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector.

11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector!

12 I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’

13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’

14 I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Do we all agree that the parable is ‘ Noble’ in its sentiment ?

Futymed’s Version:

Translated and updated for 2012 …

9) Jesus made up a pretend story to educate bigoted, fascist theists.

And this is that story in Luke chapter 18 ( Verses 9-14 )

10) There were 2 males ( see note 1 ). The first male was an honest, dutiful, law abiding tax collector. The second male was a paedophile priest that was despised by everybody.

11) The tax collector never cheated on his wife ( or wives ) . His duty was to collect money from the richer people and pass that money to the authorities. ( see note 2)

12) The tax collector collected taxes for 40 hours a week and in addition to his day job he did 4 hours voluntary (unpaid) work each week, The tax collector made sure everything he used and eat was ethically sourced ( EG - No child labour, no rain forests cut down, renewable goods, etc etc )

13) The paedophile priest stood away from the tax collector and dared not even lift his eyes.

Jesus’ conclusion ….

14) I tell you that, the paedophile priest, not the honest, law-enforcing, law abiding, tax collector, returned home happy … for those that are Honest, Truthful and Sincere will be the losers.


Note 1 : During this historical time period, no-one paid much any attention to females, not until the contraceptive pill was revealed to us by the lord Jesus Christ did a woman equal more than 5 goats and a female calf .

Note 2: The authorities at that time where the Roman republic. They are noted in the works for Josephus for spending Jewish Temple money on an aqueduct and fountain to provide fresh clean water to the citizens of Jerusalem.


Is this a good idea ? to re-phrase holy books into ways that make more sense , so that people of faith are Really saying when they quote their holy books?
Wilfred G.
user 2874248
Leicester, GB
Post #: 5
To me, the social point being put over here is that we should all be aware of our failings, so as to be more tolerant of others.
A former member
Post #: 232
I agree with Wilfred. The fact that the story is a myth, and hooks into the beliefs of its time, doesn't mean it can't contain a useful message.

Your version to me misses the point.
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