[1 Apr 2014 :: 04:10 Zulu Time]
To all members:
<< The shutdown date has been accelerated: 3 Apr 2014. >>
I am sorry, but this group will have to be shut down.
There are just not enough women.
There must be a balanced mix of men and women.
But unfortunately, there is not.
I thank you all for joining and for your support these past months.
I appreciate your membership.
Thank you for sharing my goal of spreading healthy, Non-sexual touch.
I hope you all find cuddling in your lives in the future.
I also want to welcome the new Commander-in-Chief: Commandant of Ladies Michelle.
Our previous left, presumably because of imbalance in the gender of members. I sent emails, but no positive contact was ever established.
All personnel, please evacuate to "The Intimacy Dojo" (run by Cathy Vartuli) instead.
There you may find what you seek.
<< Meetup organization self-destruct sequence initiated... >>
<< Approximately 22 days until destruction... >>
<< All personnel: Please join "The Intimacy Dojo." >>
All units, be advised: the date is not a physical meetup, but a countdown for the end of this meetup organization.
<< Meetup organization self-destruct sequence T-minus 84 hours, 49 minutes, 17 seconds... >>
This is Commander-in-Chief COG David Stack, signing off.