Bullshitting!

by n3rv1

---

When bullshitting, the most important, underlying concept is to not really pay attention to what the other person says. You have to listen in order to have something to go off of, but the crux of this style is placing minimal importance on what the other person is saying.

---

So here's what I do:

1. Make things up that are obviously not true and speak about them like an authority.

You: You know I was thinking about growing a mustache.
Her: You should go for it.
You: You know, in fact, mustaches on women are all the rage out west right now.
Her: Laughs and is interested.
You: Yeah, it's crazy. Women are getting mustache implants and all kinds of shit. When that trend makes it out here in five years, I'm going to move to the south, because it'll be another five years before it makes it down there, then by that time the trend will have passed and I'll be able to move out west. It's a cyclic process. Expensive, but it's a good lifestyle.

2. Intentionally misunderstand people, take what they say and run with it. I try to be as random as possible and still make sense. I keep a straight face and speak in a convincing tone.

Her: I want to be a teacher.
You: You're in TKE!??!! (A fraternity pronounced 'tee kay ee'.) NO WAY!! SO AM I!! I cook for the Tuesday morning fish fry, been doing it for two years now and man do I have a mean recipe for fish batter!

3. Use strange combinations of words. You: Walking with a girl, take a deep breath through the nostrils and say, "Aaaaaaaaaah, I love this time of year. It smells like cheese curds and tulips. So refreshing."


4. Devalue yourself.

Her: Do you go to school here?
You: Are you kidding??? Do I look like I go to school here? I'm actually unemployed and homeless. I don't even know these people (pointing at my friends), I just met them panhandling and they felt so bad for me that they said they'd take me out and buy me drinks. Good people!

5. Disagree a lot. If there is any room for difference of opinions, exploit it. This plays out a lot like #1, where you act like an authority on something, saying things that are obviously untrue.

Her: Oh look it must've rained out earlier.
You: No, actually it's just the Monday night carwash patrol. One of the beautiful things about this city is they like the cars clean. They go around on Monday nights and hose down all the parked cars free of charge!

---

Killswitch: I also like uncalled for reactions to minor things.

Her: I work at X drugstore on X street.
Me: WHAT?? Yeah right, you do not. (Scowl disaprovingly.)
Her: I DO!! (Doesn't understand.)
Me: (Laughing, holding her arm.) You're such a LIAR!

---

The above examples are from real conversations. Facial expressions, tonality, and hand gestures are key. The more expressive the better. Ideally what happens is the person consciously understands that what you're saying is bullshit because it's so outlandish, but because of your delivery and subcommunication they FEEL like what you're saying is true. This creates confusion in people who don't get it, but laughter in people who do.

Since I have started doing this the common response is a great, fun, lively exchange, and a lightening of the whole tone of the interaction. It tends to bring others into the mix because they see the fun happening.

Being FUNNY in an entertainer sense can be lame and try-hard. What I am talking about here is being FUN. There's a big difference. Think tickling vs. dressing up like a clown and dancing around on one foot. Tickling is FUN. Clowns are just pathetic.

Especially in social setting like bars and clubs, parties and get-togethers, people are there to HAVE FUN. So many people I come across take themselves and their environments sooo seriously. That's why the most important thing is not paying too much attention to what other people say, and why so much of what I do is playful and purposeful misinterpretation. Many people will naturally try to bring things down to earth with seriousness. By no means can you allow them to do this unless you are prepared to go into bedroom rapport style (not adviseable until AFTER sex).

It's fun to break people out of thier seriousness, and they appreciate it.

---

It can also be a great screening device. I want women who I can enjoy myself with. Smart women who I can laugh and joke and play with. If a chick is uptight or not willing to relax and bullshit with me, then why would I want to have anything to do with her? Don't be desperate for pussy.

---

Plus it creates a great connection with the chicks who really do get your sense of humor. It is a way, I guess, to "add value" to the interaction. Instead of being an energy drain, talking about work and school and other boring bullshit that makes you want to take a nap, you are a FUN guy that can lead the interaction in a FUN direction.

---

Again, contrast this with the loser jackass style humor. You are not acting like a retard or a zaney six year old, you are just a force that makes shit up as he goes along. You don't dwell on anything. You don't really even process what anyone else says, except to use it as a stepping stone to your next tangent. You are living in your own reality in the best sense. You are externalizing your light-hearted perception of reality.

---

Another bonus is this is an effective way to get those annoying AMOG nut fleas to take a hike. Most douchebag AMOGs I come across are just sad men. They take themselves to seriously and are swamped by negativity. They can't think as quickly as I can because they are so wrapped up in themselves, which enables me to run conversational circles around them. They either think I'm crazy and are intimidated by that, or they don't find it worth the effort, because it works for me as a way to blow them out without being effected by their whack personalities.

---

Positivity is absolutely key to all of this. It's necessary. If you have residual negativity, it will come out once you begin to free associate like this. You don't want to talk about violent, disgusting, or offensive shit. Sexual stuff is okay, but please, be tasteful. Don't be a loser. Obviously.

So you need to have a clear, positive foundation to your mindset to pull this off. Women are especially good at sniffing out negativity, and I think that is what they term "creepy." Being "creepy" is the exact opposite of fun, friendly, and outgoing.

Remember: You are a guy that everyone likes. You like everyone. You are in touch with reality and your emotions. You are happy. Life is good. You are smart, and you know what you're doing. Many people are uptight and unsure of themselves. Don't take them seriously. By no means take yourself seriously. Get others to play into your happy silly bullshit and they will like you. That's what I've been doing for the past month, and it has been "working" for me. Not only am I enjoying myself a ridiculous amount, but others are too.

---

And last but not least: Kino early, kino often, and go in for the kiss when the opportunity presents itself. Don't be afraid, because if you can get a woman loose, laughing, and enjoying herself, combined with some non-chalant kino she should be more than willing to get intimate with you.

Keep it light and fun and everything works out.

---

Summary: Break people out of their seriousness and have fun by bullshitting. Make things up and act like an authority on them, intentionally misunderstand, use strange word combinations, devalue yourself, disagree a lot, and make uncalled for reactions; be expressive in body and voice; and kino. Remember to not pay too much attention to what they say, but riff off of their responses.

---

Link to Original Article

---

Back to Articles Database

---

Site Meter