Negs Collection

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Adam's Apple: Is that an Adam's apple? (Touch her throat.) Oh, I guess not.
A.D.D. She interrupts: You can't sit still for one single minute, can you? Her: No. You: Do you have A.D.D.?
Adopt: You are sooo cute, I'd adopt your. Put a little mat at the foot of my bed... you could sleep there.
Age: Her: How old are you? You: Why, do you need someone to buy beer for you?
Alcoholic: She says something stupid: How much to drink have you had already?!? ..... Alcoholic!
Attention: She interrupts: Man, you were like that kid who would bring in a piece of candy-corn (tooth brush, slurpee, juice, etc.) to show-and-tell, weren't you?
Attractive: There's something attractive about you...I don't know what it is, but I'm curious to find out.
Back Turn: I just had to tell you this, your body is the most perfect body for a woman with a great personality. (Turn away for a minute. Look back.) Get us another 4 beers thanks. (Back turn for a minute. Look back.) Take a seat.
Bad Apple Oh...you're one of those Bad Apples..aren't you! (Statement. Sigh.)
Band Camp: She interrupts: Oh, and this one time at band camp...
Behind: You look sexy... from behind.
Belt: I like your belt. My little sister wore one just like that to her school disco last week.
Bet: Did you lose a bet with someone? Her: Why? You: Those shoes... OMG how do you wear them in public?
Blink: You blink a lot.
Breakfast: I've eaten girls like you for breakfast.
Breath, Tic-Tac: When she talks, gently interrupt: "Here..." and give her a tic-tac.
Busy, Hair: Busy today? Her: Yea, really busy! You: I can tell, your hair is all over the place.
Camoflauge Her top matches the chair pattern: Hey you're not scared of us are you? You look camoflauged over there.
Celebrity: You know, you remind me of someone. A celebrity!! Who do you look like? Her: Well, people tell me....(some hot actress) You: Nah--I mean, I can see it in your (eyes, smile, speech pattern, etc.)... (Snap your fingers.) I got it!..Ellen Degeneris! (Silence. Next to talk loses.) Her: WTF? No I don't--she's gross. You: No she's not. I mean she's a lesbian, and hence not my type--but she has a good look about her Or: clear skin Or: she is built well Or: a contemporary dresser Plus, she's really smart, (funny, successful, etc.) and people say she looks great in person. (Shift back to the original convo.)
Cellphone: Put your hat on her...lock her in. And answer your phone: Hey Ashley, ... (Pretend you are talking to your GF.) I'll be home late tonight. (Cover your cell, and say to target.) Hey..don't be snoopy....it's not polite. (Continue talking. At the end Always say "Me too.") Her: who is that? You: Aren't we being noisy. (Stick out toungue.) Or: Ashley. ... I'll be right back. (Walk away to get a drink, coffee, whatever.)
Chance: You don't have a chance.
Charm: What you lack in feminine charm you make up for in dress sense.
Cindy Lauper: Cindy Lauper called, said she was redoing her 80's video girls just want to have fun, looks like your dressed for the audition.
Clever: She says something even better than you: Wow that's clever. Did you make that up all by yourself?
Comfort: I dig the way you give up fashion for comfort.
Contacts: I love your eyes. (Look into her eyes.) OMG, are those contacts! Oh, you little cheat. (playful hit) I totally fell for that!
Crazy: Clothing store: Get two similar items and ask an attractive girl if you can get a female opinion on which one would be more attractive on you. She answers, say: Then I'll get this one. (Motion to the other one) I'm trying not to attract crazy women.
Cross-Dresser: Hey where did you get that skirt? Her: Blah. You: My uncle is a cross dresser and that would be perfect for him.
Cute: Haha! Awww, that's so cute!
Cute, Cat: You're almost as cute as my cat.
Dance: To dancing chick: I can see someone paid $29.95 for Darren's dance Grooves.
Demanding: OMG, is she allways this demamding? How do you guys put up with her?
Desperate: If she starts talking about you to her friends after your first batch of negs: OMG, are you still talking about me?...How desperate are you?
Dress: Weren't you wearing this dress the last time you were here?
Drink: Take a sip of her drink, make a sour face, pause five seconds: You must have an alcohol problem to be drinking that. Her: You don't like that?
Drink, Buy Girl asks you (your name). You: Buy me a drink and I'll tell you everything!
Drink, Order: Waitress: Whaddaya want to drink? (Pause, look her in the eye.) What do you reccommend, are there any house specials? Her: Blah. (Look her dead in the eye, pause.) Nah, that sounds awful, why don't you just bring me a ______.
Drinking: Move her beer away from her....lean in a bit, whisper: You shouldn't be drinking....you're already not making any sense.
Drinks, Direct: I don't buy drinks for girls.
Ear: You've got something in your ear.
Earrings: Pull her hair back and look at her ear. Wait two seconds, DO NOT SPEAK UNTIL she asks: What's up with that? You: Those ear-rings are very popular tonight, they must have been on sale somewhere. Her: These ear rings, who else is wearing these exact ear rings. You: Some woman who bought my drink, I'm sure she's still somewhere around here.
Earrings, Heavy: Those earrings are lovely, a little heavy on your ears but it's ok, people in Africa think that's sexy.
Easy: Hey, don't get any ideas, cos I ain't easy.
Etiquette: Look, I don't know where you're from...but where I'm from, etiquette and protocol are not optional. Now, just because mommy failed to teach you common courtesy, it's no reason why I (or my friend here) should have to suffer due to your ignorance. (Turn away, but don't leave.)
Eyes, Circle: Nooowaaay...do that again!!!? Her: What? You: your eyes just moved in a MASSIVE circle when you talked!!!!!
Eye Roll: Did you just roll your eyes at me? You LITTLE shithead! (Put up dukes and smirk.)
Eyebrows: Your crooked eyebrows are really bugging me!
Eye Crusties: Ohhhhh you have eye crusties. That's cute....No no don't rub them, I like eye crusties!"
Eyelashes, Kiss: Are your eyelashes fake? Either answer: Close your eyes so I can check. (Steal a kiss.)
Eyes: You have really pretty eyes. Especially the right one.
Eyes, Reflection: Stare deeply into her eyes: You've got beautiful eyes. Her: Thank you You: (Maintain eye contact.) But then again, I like anything I can see my reflection in.
Fake: Hmm, you have very clear skin....oh, wait, it's just foundation. Looks realistic, though. Later: So what about your eyelashes? They're fake too? Please, at least tell me your hair is real...
Fart: Sniff air: Did you just fart? (Quietly as if you were trying to ask ONLY her, but make sure her friends hear you.)
Fart, Tacos: Sniff air: What's that smell???? (Look at her.) I smell tacos! Did you have tacos today!?!
Favor: She asks a favor: Not with your attitude!!
Feet: Look at her feet: Aww that's so cute, my kid sister is pigeon-toed too.
Fly: I'm sorry, but I have to tell you something (pause) your fly is open.
Fool: She soft punches you: Girl.... girl (get her attention) You're making a fool out of yourself.
Freckle: Is that a freckle (age spot, bruise, etc.)?
Friend: You don't seem too adventurous, but you might make a nice friend...
Funny: You're funny! ....but looks aren't everything.
Garage Sale: To her bag, shoes, earrings, etc.: Hey you didn't get this in (so and so neighborhood) did you? Her: No...(confused) You: Really? I remember seeing something like this last week when i was helping my grandma put out some stuff for a garage sale.
Get Along: You and I would never get along. We're too similar.
Glitter: Are you wearing body glitter?
Gold: She has gold jewelry: Oh, that's a really cool, brass (necklace, earrings, bracelet, etc.)! Her: ...they're gold. You: (Act disappointed.) Oh, and here I thought you may be original or creative"
Gorgeous: To a 10: OMG... Your dropdead gorgeous! (Wussy voice, in awe.) Thats why I'm not going talk to you. (Playful voice.)
Grandma: Oh wow, Where did you get your purse (shoes, earrings, etc.)? Her: Blah. You: My grandma's birthday's coming up and she would love that...
Gum: Offer her gum. Her: No thanks. You: No really, take the gum.
Guy Expert: Her: All guys are jerks (etc.). You: WOW ... you must be a guy expert to say such an absolute statement. I bet you know everything about men. you must be able to walk up to a guy and know exactly what it takes to capture his heart and hold it in the palm of you hand for as long as you want. You probably know how to please him, how to wrap him around your finger and how to keep him wanting more. I should probably stay away from you!
Gym: You know, a few months in the gym and you could go from cute to attractive.
Gym: Add one more day in the gym and you'd be smokin'.
Gym, Resolution: Do you belong to a gym? (Most HB's do.) Her: Yes. You: Good. It looks like you are about halfway to fufilling that New Year's Resolution.
Hair, 80's: You (almost made) make that 80's haircut work.
Hair, Barber: I like your hairstyle. But you should let the barber do it next time.
Hair Color: Is that your real hair color? Her: Blah. You: Well it's still nice anyway.
Hair Direction: You should put your hair up/down (opposite of hers).
Hair, Euro: You: I like your hair style. HB: Thanks. You: Yeah, it's very european.
Hair Gel: Hey you remind me of a friend, she always wears the same amount of hair gel as you do.
Hair, Mullet: Heeeeeeey! Nice mullet! It's cute!
Hair, Oprah: Oprah used to have that hairstyle back in the mid 80's.
Hair, Shower: Hey, my hair looks like yours ... but only AFTER I get out of the shower. ... Have you tried Frizz-Ease.
Hair, Side: Is your hair real cos...I like one side better than the other? ...No way, it's a wig?!?!
Hair, Straight: Why have you done your hair like that? (in a calm voice)..It would look better straight/curly.
Hair, Waffle: What do you call THAT hairstyle?... The Waffle?
Hair Weather: I love your hair. Does the weather make it do that?
Hair, Wig: Is your hair real? Her: Blah. You: No waaay...it's a wig?!!?!
Handbag: Shiny silver handbag: Cool handbag. Did you spraypaint it yourself?
Hands Off: Bump into her: Hands off the merchandise.
Hat: Hey, nice hat. Her: Thanks. You: My grandfather has one just like it. Her: OMG, that wasn't nice at all! You: What are you talking about? I LOVE my grandpa!
Hate: I hate you. Her: Why?? You: I would have asked for your number but you're obvioulsy too drunk.
Height: Taller/shorter: So how is the weather up/down there?
Hi 5: She says something cool. Reach to give her a high five. As her hand gets closer move yours away. She'll miss: You dork! ...Let's do this again!
Hillbilly: You're cute. In a hillbilly sort of way.
Hot: You're not that hot but there's something about you that kind of intrigues me. (Be careful.)
Identify: Behind her: Hey Jack (George, Bob, etc.)! Her: (Turns around.) You: Oh I am sorry I thought you were my friend.
Imperfection: There's beauty in imperfection.
Incompetence: Holy shit. You really don't know what you're doing, do you?
Interesting: You're interesting. At least you're not that ugly.
Interrupt: Open the obstacle, To target: BTW, Don't interrupt. To Obstacle: How do you cope with her?
Interruption: Excuse me...May I finish my sentence first?
Introduction: Quit it! (Melodramatic voice.) Or I'm going call that guy over for you. (Playful, pointing to old or ugly man.)
Island You're definitely getting voted off the island!
Ketchup: Hey, you got something on your back... looks like ketchup.
Like: I don't (think I) like you.
Like This: To her friends: Is she ALWAYS like this?
Lips, Dance: I love how when you end in a "U" sound your lips dance around a bit.
Lipstick: I like your the color of your lipstick...
Lipstick on Teeth: You have some lipstick on your teeth.
Loud: You have a very loud friend.
Make-Up: I bet you're even prettier without so much make-up on.
Medication: Wow. You're nuts. Have you been taking your medication?
Middle Finger: Target uses body language to signal your a loser: Smile at her and give her the middle finger at the same time.
Model, Hand: You're a model? You must be a hand model/your hair looks kinda nice.
Model, Short: Wow, you look great.. you could be a model... if you were little bit taller ... and little bit thinner..
Mom: Heyyy I like that shirt (shoes, jewelry, etc.) My mom has it. But she's not that old so don't worry. Or: She still has some decent fashion sense though. Or: But she's still pretty cool.
Musician: Hey Deb, you used to come to my gigs all the time? Her: No, but blah ... what instrument, yada, yada, when are you playing? Call me.
Nails: Nice nails. Are they real? Her: Blah. Oh but they STILL LOOK NICE.
Necklace: I saw a girl with that same necklace on earlier today, it looked really good.
Nervous: Target of set seems dismissive or distant: You look nervous, do you have an exam tomorrow or something? Or: Are the cops after you? Or: Don't be, I'm not even hitting on you yet.
New: Hey, I like your (shirt, jeans, purse, etc.)....Did you get (it, them, those) new?
Nice Girl: I don't think we should get to know each other. Her: Why? You're too much of a nice girl for me.
Nose: You've got something on your nose.
Nose, Lips: Has anyone ever told you your lips make your nose look small/big? (Opposite of her nose size.)
Nose, Real: Nice nose...is it real??!!? (Inquisitive body language.)
Nose, Similar: Hey, I hadn't noticed it, but your nose looks exactly like mine (or: his = her friend)! Her: No way!!
Nose Wiggles: Your nose wiggles when you talk. ... That's so cute.
Nose Wiggles: Holy crap!!!...Your nose wiggles when you talk...Hey it's doing it again!! Oh it's ok for being human.....From now on I'm gonna call you wiggly (or squishy).
Nostrils: Hey, how cute, your nostrils wiggle while you speak... Hey guys check this out (to her friends).
Not, Are You? Accuse her of being or doing something you find unacceptable or unattractive: You're not (shoplifting, etc.), are you?
Number Four: Hey, you're the fourth girl I've seen tonight wearing that top!!! I'm calling you number four!!
Penis: Holy shit, is that a penis in your pants???
Personality: You know, we've only been talking for two minutes, and already I'm having trouble imagining you with a personality.
Palms, Sweaty: Palm reading: Your hands are sweaty.
Palms, Sweaty: She won't comply: Eeeww!...Your palms are sweaty.
Paris Hilton: Wow you totally look like (remind me of) Paris Hilton. Did you see that episode of South Park? ("Stupid Spoiled Whore".)
Perfume, Grandma: Wow, I love that perfume! Her: Thanks. You: My grandma wears the same one. She picks up old men like crazy! Her: hahaha. You: OMG, she'd totally kick your ass if she thought you were trying to compete with her! Her: hahaha. You: So is that what you do? Try to pick up old men?
Peroxide: Works with any colored hair, turn to pushy/whiny HB9/10 trying to get a drink: Ease up honey they're serving liquor, not peroxide. Plus it looks like you've had enough already...
Princess: What do you want to be when you grow up? And don't say princess. Her: Blah You: Lame! You're a lameass.
Psycho: You're not a psycho are you?? Or she says you're mad: And I thought you were the friendly psycho!
Pull My Finger: Pull my finger...pfft ahhahaha. No really pull my finger...pffthahahha you fell for it again!
Remove: You've got something in your eye, ear, nose, teeth, mole, etc. (Help her remove it.)
Retarded: She does something stupid: Are you retarded?
Retro: To group: Shit, nobody told me it was retro night, must not have gotten the memo.
Rolex: She's wearing a watch: Hey what time is it? (Look at her watch closely.) I didn't know Rolex made plastic watches!! (Turn around immediately but don't walk away.)
Roll: How do you roll with her? Y'know, you can dress her up but you can't take her out.
Ruined: I can't believe you said that! And I thought we have something here.. you had to ruin it!
Sale: Did you get your earrings (scarf, shoes, boob job, etc.) on sale somewhere? Her: Blah. You: You're the 3rd girl here wearing those same ones, I thought maybe they were on clearance somewhere.
Sexy: Wow.. you're sexy... almost as sexy as me.
Shirt: I just saw a girl wearing that exact same shirt over there!
Shirt, Pirate: I love your shirt, there was a girl in Pirates of the Carribean who wore the exact same one.
Shirt, Terrible: That shirt looks fucking terrible on you. (Then don't give her much attention.)
Shoes: Cool shoes...Are those size 10s?
Shoes, Bowling: Those are some great shoes... I used to have a pair just like them but they made me return them after the tenth frame...
Shoes, Comfort: Those shoes look really comfortable.
Shoes, Dorothy: Does Dorothy know you have her shoes?
Shoes, Elf: Damn, those are some pointy ass shoes....you mug an elf on your way over here for those?
Shoes, Glass: All strippers have the same see-through glass shoes.
Shoes, Oriental: Tell me, did those come with a free magic carpet?
Shoes, Weapons: Dancing or about to dance with a girl: Those are some sharp looking heels you're wearing there...I don't know if I can dance with someone who's wearing what can be construed as weapons.
Shy: To obstacles: You girls need to get her out more and break her out of her shell.
Sister: She's grabby or interrupts: Guys, she's totally like my little sister... Cute. (Playful.) And annoying. (Serious.) How do you roll with her?
Skinny: To the friend: You're friend's kinda skinny... but she has a nice body.
Smell: I love how your smell, it's pretty strong. (Then fake-sneeze.)
Smell, Chalupa: Do you work at taco bell? Her: No why!? You: I'm pretty sure I smelled chalupa. (Don't use on hispanic girls.)
Smoke: Hey so you don't smoke do you? Or: Do you smoke? (Look serious, quizzicaly, almost frowning.)
Socks: Are you wearing......white socks with your black shoes??? That's a fashion suicide.
Spit: Eeww you spit on me! (Playful tone.)
Spit: Oooo...sick. You just spit on me!
Spit, Eye: When she talks, pretend to wipe your eye as if she spit in it. Put on the apropriate face.
Stinks: Sniff air around you. Sniff your shoulder. Lean in little bit and sniff her. Slightly turn around as if she stinks. Don't say anything. Continue talking like normal.
Stumble: She stumbles: First day on your new feet, ah?
Style: I think its great that you are so confident, you can go outside in whatever you want regardless of whats in style.
Talk: You talk a lot.
Talkative: To obstacles: Does she have an off button?
Talking: Hello...I'm talking...Geez.
Tall: You're nearly as tall as me...I like tall girls. Are those 3 or 4 inch heels?
Tall, Basketball: You must be a very confident woman? to be as tall as you are and still wear high heels. You played basketball in high school didn't you?
Tan: Touch her arm: Is that a real tan? Her: It's real.. You: Yeah.. I know..
Tan, Spray: Hey nice tan...is that a real one or a spray on one? Her: Spray on. You: Wow...It's amazing what a can of spray can do these days. Or: Her: Real. You: Oh...it's hard to tell because the spray on ones look just like the real ones.
Teeth: You've got something in your teeth (on your lip, chin, cheek, etc.) Matter of fact voice.
Teeth: Stop mid-sentence: ... I'm standing here looking at you and I've got to tell you. (pause, as if about to AFC compliment) You've got something in your teeth...right in the middle....yeah, there.
Teeth, Bunny: You have adorable Bugs Bunny teeth.
Temperament: You know, you have a great temperament for someone who works in... (this store).
Ten To a 10 with full Bitch Shield: Hey, you're a 10. (Pause, looked her up and down.) Well maybe a 7! Her: (Speechless.) You: What's wrong? 7 is good. No one is perfect.
Time, Friend: She asks for the time. You ask to see her friend's wrist: Your friend is wearing a watch.
Tired: Her: Hey, how are you? You: Fine, how about yourself? You look kinda tired. Her: (Freaks.) OMG i do? OMG. You: Oh no, don't worry, you don't look that bad at all.
Tongue: She interrupts your story telling routine: Stick tongue out. (Playful.)
Touchy: She's about to grab or touch you, put hand out in stop form, smile, wiggle finger: No touchy. (Teasing voice.)
Try: Hey you know what? I think its great how you make an effort to look good. (She "tried".)
Turn: Wait your turn.
Uglier: No really...I've seen uglier girls.
Vomit Vomit while kissing her.
Walk: There's something unique about the way you walk, reminds me of...a penguin (football player, etc.) maybe?
X: Make an X sign with your index fingers while moving next to the target.
Yawn: Yawn when she tries to qualify herself. Rub your eyes for greater effect.

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