Routines Collection

This collection of Routines is for Mid to Late Game. DHV style routines are in the DHV Routines Collection and opener routines are in the Openers Collection

Lair members can add routines by clicking "Edit" above.

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Animals (Unknown) If you could be an animal, which one would you be? How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator? Noo, open the door and put the elephant in the refrigerator? How do you put the rabbit in the refrigerator? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the rabbit! Animals meeting: which animal isn't there? Rabbit. River with crocodiles... How do you pass?

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Attack Kitten (Jlaix) You are so cute! You are like my little ATTACK KITTEN. Like, a furry little attack kitten with a big oversize collar on, you can protect me when the Sexual Predator Ninjas drop down from the ceiling... POUNCE! Can you pounce? Yeah. I feel so safe wif my wittle attack kitten around. I'll even get you a personalized food bowl with Attack Kitten Food.

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Best Friends Expanded (Tyler Durden) "You guys are best friends aren't you. You have exactly the same posture. And you have exactly the same facial expressions. And the big thing, and I don't know if all girls do this or what, but every time you go to talk, or I'm talking to you, or you're about to do something, you guys keep looking at each other first." They bust out laughing as they look at each other's posture, then again at their facial expressions, and then of course lastly at the looking at each other. You can proceed to analyze you and your wing, and other people, under the same criteria. Good way to blow open the conversation.

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C?s vs. U?s (Style) This one is AWESOME if you're sarging strippers and models. It's also completely true.

Style: Smile again for me.
HB: um, okay.
Style (to wing): See, she's a U.
HB: ????
Style: I dated a girl who wanted to be a pop star. And she had a theory that people with U-shaped smiles were perceived as unfriendly. And people with C-shaped smiles were perceived as friendly.
HB: So what's a U then?
Style: A U is when your teeth go straight back in your mouth (can add "kind of like a horse" if she's a SHB). A C is when there's a big row of pearly whites in the front. And to my ex, it was more than a theory. She actually got her teeth surgically reshaped from a U to a C.
HB: No way.
Style: And she had me go look at pictures of like Christina Aguilera, who is a U, and Britney Spears, who is a C. Look at the cover of Us or any magazine, and you'll see that it's always a C smile on the cover.

From here, me and the target start inspecting the teeth of random strangers looking for the perfect C or U. It's fun.

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Candy Bottle (Mystery, Eboy)

Purchase a small plastic bottle of liquid candy with a baby's nipple on it. Peel off the plastic sticker so the bottle appears non-descript. Pocket it for in-field use.

There comes a time in every successful sarge (C1) where you want to know if she is attracted to you enough to be ok with sharing saliva. Give her a chance to IOI you - by tasting from the bottle. You may, after she tastes from it, take it back and taste from it yourself, thereby IOIing. Or you may rub the nipple clean (either explicitly or implicitly) and IOD. Do not IOD if she IOIs. That would be punishing her for good behavior.

Or: Use a lolly-pop in the shape of a bottle. In set: pull out the bottle and start sucking on it.

HB: What the fuck is that?
PUA: A childrens candy bottle, what the fuck does it look like? (With a serious look, keep sucking.)
PUA: Wanna try it?
HB: No, I'll give u cooties.
PUA: Gross... I think I have already been infected though. (Point to some nasty fat chick.)
HBs: Laugh. Call you mean.
PUA: Hand it to them.
HBs: They pass it around. They all try it and love it.

It's also an opportunity for her to show her oral technique.

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Cologne (Midas) House party: Go in the bathroom and spray on some cologne so it smells strong.

You: Hey ladies... Come over here and tell me if you like my cologne...

They come over and smell you. Open your arms like you want a hug.

You: (Sexy seductive voice.) Oooooh you like that huh?
HBs: Oh my god you smell so good! mmmmmmm

Get them to give you hugs and wrap their legs around you.

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The Cube (Organic) You can structure it how you like, and find what works best for you.

• ?Have you ever done the cube?... Ok? I'll ask you a set of questions, and when I'm done I'll know everything about you. Are you ready? Do you have a good imagination? ?Good.? (The idea here is not to explain it, but just to get her hooked.)
  
• ?Now, imagine in front of you a landscape? (I?ll usually gesture with my hand for them to imagine it in front of them). ?And in the landscape there is a cube. Notice what size is it, what color is it? What is it made of? Where is it??
  
• ?Ok, next you see a ladder. Notice, where is it in relation to the cube? What is it made of? What size is it??
  
• ?Next there are flowers. Where are they? How many? What do they look like? What color are they??
  
• ?Next, there is a horse. What does it look like? Where is it? What is it doing??
  
• ?And, last there is a storm. Where is it? What is it doing? What does it look like??

When she has visualized the entire image, then you can tell her the meanings. They are:

Cube     = Your Self
Ladder   = Your Aspirations
Flowers  = Your Friends
Horse    = Your Ideal Lover
Storm    = Your Challenges and Problems

The routine I use doesn?t follow the original book, and you shouldn?t either. Do what feels best for you. You can use a desert or a movie theater instead of a landscape. You can introduce it by saying ?I?ll know more about you than even your best friends know.?

You can be vague and use generalities. You can ask clarifying questions. When you find aspects of the interpretation that really fit her, go into greater detail. Use things that you already know about her. Use your? intuition. Keep your statements positive. Interpret her ideal as being the opposite of what she describes. For example: a weak and sickly horse means that she has had too many weak men in her life, and she really needs one that is strong and healthy. Add lots of Kino and strong Eye Contact. Take advantage of the horse: it is a great time to demonstrate that you know what women want. Burst the tension now and then with a little cocky and playful comment: The Cube means that?. (pause) ?. You want my body. (smile)? Start the interpretation with a bold, but irrefutable, statement about who she is and where she is in her life. Use all of the little parts to get a bigger picture of her. Work with her, and go with what she says. Lead her into emotional states with descriptive language. Set the mood so that she feels good sharing. Share with her, and get into the state yourself. Find commonalities and develop your connection with her. Tell her that her cube is unique, and you can even say ?Well, usually, that would mean this? but with you, I think it?s a little different.? Don?t reveal everything. Leave parts out, or hint that there is something more. Always leave her wanting more.

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Driver (Style) We have to go soon and meet our friend Blane. We were in an accident with him yesterday, and he's picking up the car. We were driving along the coast, and they told us that like 95 percent of car crashes on this road are fatal to all the passengers. I can't believe we survived without a scratch. In fact, I can't believe we even let Blane drive. You see, Blane was shot by snipers when he used to be in the army in XXX. He walks with a limp now, and can only use one of his arms. You may have seen him: He always wears a pink cowboy hat. Anyway, when he's driving, he uses one hand. When he goes to flip on the turn signal--no hands! It's a very scary experience.

And, do you know how most people can only hold seven pieces of information in their conscious mind at one time. Yes, it's true: that's why they made phone numbers seven digits. Anyway, Blane was also shot in the head. The bullet went in one side, and they took it out the other. So now he can only hold like THREE pieces of information in his conscious mind at one time.

So he was driving along the coast. That's one thing in his mind. And all of a sudden, Eminem comes on the radio, and he loves Eminem. So he starts singing along. That's now TWO things. And we're on our way to Vodice, so he starts looking around the seat for the address of the place we're staying there. That's now THREE things.

And that's all fine, but all of a sudden there is a truck in front blocking our path, so he decided to flip on the turn signal and go around it. So now that's NO HANDS on the wheel and FOUR THINGS on his mind. So since he can only hold three things, ONE THING has to go, so he forgets to drive the car and goes right off the road into a bush.

Yeah, it was terrible.The car was literally teetering on the edge of a cliff over the sea. I guess after his experiences in the war he doesn't like bushes very much. Anyway, we can only stay and talk for a couple more minutes. Yeah, we need to go get Blane before he tries to drive his own car again.

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Evolution Phase Shift (Style)

• I tell her that she smells good and ask what she is wearing. Then I lean in, brush her hair aside, and sniff her slowly, moving up from the shoulder to the ear. "Mmmm, that smells good. People don't pay enough attention to smell. But you'll notice how animals, before they mate, will always smell each other. Evolution has hard-wired us to respond to certain things. You are wired to respond when someone smells you."
  
  
• "It's like when someone pulls the back of your hair. You'll notice how lions, when they mate, always bite and tug at the end of each other's mane, right here." (Since I'm shaved bald, I'll add here, "This is what I miss the most about not having hair"; if you have hair, say, "This is one of my favorite things".) Then I run my hand up the back of her neck and grab a fistful of hair at the roots and pull it, downwards. She says "mmmm..." And I say "See."
  
  
• Then I talk about how "no one knows this, but the most sensitive places on the body are places that are usually hidden from contact with the air, like the back of the elbow (touching it) and knee (touching it). Any place where your body bends, twists, or folds, there are millions of sensitive little nerve endings that release endorphins.? Then I take her arm, bend it a little, and erotically bite the area on the opposite side of the elbow (that crease where it bends). She usually gets the chills, and I have her ratify how good it feels.
  
  [NOTE FOR THE LESS EXPERIENCED: If you don't know how to erotically bite a girl, learn before you do this. You want to take a big chunk of skin -- not a little pinch! -- and slowly and firmly slide your teeth together until they meet and release the skin. You may want to practice on your own elbow first.]
  
  
• After, I say, "But do you know what the best thing in the world is?...A bite...right...here." And I point to the side of my neck. Every now and then, I'll add, that "this has to do with the fact that it is where the jugular vein is most exposed, and since most sexual fantasies have to do with submission and vulnerability, it sends all the fantasy signals flying.? Then I'll expose my neck and say, "Bite me right here" as if I EXPECT her to do it. Fifty percent of the time she will. If she doesn't, I just turn away calmly (punish), wait a few seconds, and then turn back and repeat, "Bite me right here." Usually here she will.
  
  
• Half the time, her bite is lame. If so, I correct her and say, "That's not how you bite. Come here." Then I give her a good bite on the neck and instruct her to "try again." This time, she ALWAYS does a great job.
  
  
• Now you look her in the eye, smile mischievously/approvingly, and say, very slowly, "not bad." Then glance down at her mouth, back up at her eyes, and...yes...finally...you...may...if you want...and if she's ready...um...kiss!

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4 Questions (X0730) It is a good way to get a chick to want to see you after talking to her on the phone. I have these 4 magic questions and if you are game, I'll ask you but I can't do it on the phone (curiosity state). These questions will tell you a lot about yourself -- it's amazing how it works, you might even find things about yourself you didn't even know. I'm not sure that YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THAT. (Everyone wants to know about themselves.) And after a bit of pleading from them for me to tell them I just say, You have to wait and find out. (Puts you in a position of power because they are begging you and really want something from you but you aren't going to give it to them just yet Then when we meet I will build rapport, etc. and they will ask about the 4 questions, etc. and I will tease them and keep holding off "saying I am not sure that you really want to find out, it is very personal. Would you really like me to know your inner most secrets?" You have to probe a little deeper when asking the questions so you can guide them into giving you the answers with enough depth to analyze and give them a core in-depth answer.

The 4 questions are:

• Imagine yourself in a white room everything is white -- wall, ceiling, floor. Describe your experience.
  
• What is your favorite color ..describe it , what feeling does it have?
  
• What is your favorite animal.. Why? Describe it.
  
• Imagine yourself near a large body of water .. describe your experience? What do you do?

Answers:

• That is your perception of death and dying.
  
• That is how you see yourself with these qualities that you answered to the question
  
• (This one is very funny and always gets them a little blushed.) This is how people see you with those qualities.
  
• That is you view of sex, with the water etc.

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Fuck, Marry, Kill (TwentySix, The Howard Stern Show)

Marry? Marry is retard-ed? my name?s Mary and I?m a lose-er! Look at me, I?m a loser and my name?s Mar-ry!? Do that when a girl?s on a cell phone. Go up beside her, act like you?re on a cell phone, and imitate the girl. Point out three guys in the club and tell her, ?You have to fuck one of them, marry one of them, and kill one of them. Which one would you do what to?

You can act like you are the MAN on the cell phone, walk around the club demanding outrageous stuff on the cell, like you?re having a really intense conversation: No, you tell Spielberg you shove it! This movie is getting made TOMORROW! If you?re at a club alone, instead of just sitting in a corner with your drink, whip out your cell and act like you?re talking on it. It will make you look less pathetic, because it?s natural to be alone when talking on the phone.

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Gay Cats (Wilder) Initial hook: Start the story with, "Have you ever met a gay cat?" After this, you'll have the undivided attention of your audience.

PUA: Ok, get this, my friend Sara, bought 3 cats some time ago. I don?t know what she was thinking when she bought them, but she bought all three male cats. It was so funny. When I would go to her place to visit her, I would see the cats spooning each other, sometimes even licking each other.
HB: Smiling
PUA: No Really. I told Sara "you know what, I think they're gay, I mean not gay by birth, but maybe prison gay...you know. I mean they haven?t seen a female cat in months...what are they supposed to do" So Sara started getting freaked out, its amazing how she never thought about it. And we decided one day that we're gonna do something about it, coz the last thing Sara wanted were gay cats. So we embarked on a mission to find a female cat.
HB: Hehehe
PUA: And Sara had a neighbor that she really hated, he had a female cat, so once while the guy was away, we stole it and put it in the room with three male cats. Only God knows what happened then.
HB: LOL!!
Punch-line: "So now her neighbor's cat is knocked up. So pretty soon I think I know where you can get your very own little gay kitten!"

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The Girlfriend Test (Unknown) Here is the girlfriend test per request. It is really very simple. When a girl checks your status. "Do you have a girlfriend?" Say, "To be my girlfriend (or lover) is a prestigious and exclusive thing. There's a test." Curiosity being what it is, she will want to take the test. There are three multiple-choice questions. Take out a pen and write the correct answers on her palm but forbid her to look. Then ask her the questions while you hold her hand closed. You should make up your own, but here are some example questions:

• Which do you enjoy more? A shower or a warm bath?
  
• What is the sexiest food? Whipped crème, chocolate syrup or strawberries?
  
• What feels better? Kisses on your neck or nibbling on your ear?

The correct answers are bath, strawberries and kisses on the neck. Most times she will answer the first two correctly. The last question is up for grabs. The crucial thing is that the last question is some sort of intense kino or kissing that you can do right then. If she gets it wrong: Whisper in her ear "I can't be with you if you really believe this (nibble ear) feels better than this (kiss neck)." If she gets it right: "I'm glad you like this (nibble or kiss). It is so much better than this (kiss or nibble)." Make sure you kiss and nibble before you let go of her hand. If she gets all the questions wrong give her a playfully hard time about it. This test is used mostly after you have some connection.

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High Heels (SamJuro) Lead-in?s vary, from her standing up, to you mentioning she must be short to wear such high heels, or "hey those are interesting shoes", etc. She also should be wearing shoes that can be removed. It doesn?t work quite as well if she's wearing boots.

PUA: A friend of mine is a doctor - specializes in sports medicine... She demonstrated that high-heels create subconscious physical cues in a woman?s posture - and has little to do with height.
HB: Huh, how do you mean? (Surprisingly, I've found most women DON'T know this, or actively pretend to not know.)
PUA: Ok, let me show you. (If she's sitting, stand her up, if she's standing, adjust her shoulders and position her to face you - KINO on shoulders.)
PUA: Ok, stand straight. When you stand in high-heels, your whole posture changes. See? Your shoulders pull back, your spine straightens, your hips push forward. (Gently trace the collarbone, lower back and stomach with fingertips while explaining.)
HB: I don't think there's any real difference. Or: No it doesn?t. Or: Interesting, cool.
PUA: Let me demonstrate. Check your posture with your hands and remember it. (Take her hands in yours, put them on her hips, her lower back, upper chest, shoulders.) Got it?
HB: I think so. Or: Yeah.
PUA: Take your shoes off for a sec.
PUA: (HB with feet on the ground.) Now check your posture. Your shoulders have rounded. Your gut is out more. And you take on a completely different look. (If in a set or with a wing, have them comment on it. Make the target the center of attention.)
PUA: Ok, put your shoes back on. (HB complies.) Now look. (Now using the palms and back of my hands to touch her shoulders back, chest out, etc.)
HB: Wow, that?s cool.
PUA: When you?re in heels, your like (in talk show host voice) "No way Paris Hilton is coming to my party, tell that bitch to get out!" Without heels, "Paper or plastic?" With heels, (Insert your playful banter here.)
HB: Hahahaha.
PUA: Next time you're looking at yourself naked in the mirror - oh come on - you know you do! Put your heels on and I'll tell you how it affects your look. (C&F with some future pacing)

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Instantaneous Connection (IC) (Ross Jeffries)

In fact... just standing here... talking with you... I have an intuition... that when you connect with someone... someone you really like... someone you're really attracted to who makes you feel that click? right there... you know that sense of just feeling totally drawn... like you've known this person forever... like you were meant to know them.... a big part of it is that recognition that you can RELAX and laugh with this person? can you feel that (touch her and achor the feeling)... is maybe how it works?

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