"Friends First" FUN Friends Group Message Board › The responces that I got to SEEDS OF WIDOM

The responces that I got to SEEDS OF WIDOM

Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 154
Good morning, Fena!

I want to tell you that I'm thankful for you.

Though I have only attended 1 Single Social Sunday, meeting you (and the group) has made a huge impact on my life.

I am looking forward to being able to atttend more events.

I have been struggling through a major depression and a recent painful breakup. Hope and happiness are things that have been very scarce in my life recently.

I left that first event with a smile on my face and a glimpse that life would be improving very soon.

Your warmth and openess made me feel very welcome, and the group was wonderful.

Your Seeds of Wisdom always bring a smile to my face and give me great food for thought.

You truly have a gift, and I want to thank you for sharing it.

You make a difference in my life.

Thank you.

Warmly,

A female member of our group.
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 155
Wheeee!!!!! Fena, so far I LOVE your group!

Do you need the greeters there before 8:00?

From one of our new members!
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 156
Curious…..Narcissistic personality disorder? Im drowning in a relationship right now and am on the cusp of detangling myself from him. Thanks for the emails. I like the long ones( just so ya know

From Fena:

Yes, textbook case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. RUN!!!! LOL. Seriously, RUN!
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 157
Fena,

Thanks for all the Seeds of Wisdom. A lot of them have really touched home for me, as I am going through some major life changes. I really appreciate all the effort you put into these each day and your "words" of wisdom have often times snapped me out of a downward spiral.

Take care and I'll see you soon.

A female member
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 158
Hi Fena - Great message - I was an adult before I heard of "healthy selfishness" and it resonated with me - it's ok to ask yourself - "What is good for me now?" Have a good day -

Female member
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 159
Hi Fena,

Your words of wisdom is exactly what I needed to read this morning. My boyfriend and I ended things last night - although it was only an 8-month relationship - we fell for each other quickly and I indeed fell in love with him. I know that he did not see my true value and worth and I learned that he was very controlling. So my brain is telling me this is a gift that it ends now....but my heart is broken.

Thank you for the words of wisdom and I'm looking forward to attending one of your events soon.

Thank you,

Female member
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 160
Hi Fena,

I'm sure you hear this often, but this "Seed of Wisdom" comes at an opportune time. I am in the midst of a breakup (I think lol) .... well I guess I should be "true to myself" and make that decision even without knowing what's going through his mind? I put a question mark at the end of that sentence because I am still debating with myself. A quick history: we dated for about a year. The last 4 months or so I have been trying to explain to him that I don't feel like I am important to him, he would tell me that he's scared but he knows he loves me and I am the woman he wants to marry he just doesn't know how to do relationships. He's 39 years old (tomorrow), and has lived with his parents his entire life. He has never been married or even done sleep overs not even in college, he stayed in his parents home and commuted back and forth. One week ago yesterday, he and I had our regular morning conversation. He knows I am not happy with things the way they are, but I didn't whine or complain that morning as I sometimes do, and yes our conversations have been short and tense lately. Well he didn't call that day after work and I didn't call him. We have not talked since. I don't know what is going through his mind. Originally, I was just waiting for him to show me that I am important and let him reach out to me. Give him a chance to miss me ya know? But now after a week, obviously I don't matter, what I feel doesn't matter. I have explained to him that although he has his parents as his partners, I view him as mine, and I like to share my day with him etc. I wonder to myself sometimes, should I be the one to climb over walls and show him that my love is strong enough to sustain us if he is willing to take a chance with me? Or am I better off doing what I'm doing .... letting him go, since he is letting me go?

Female Member

Fena's Response:


Dear ******
Hon...you have to let him go. If he is not willing to meet you even half way, then why try to save something that is not there. Loving someone comes with responcibilities. He has none towards you. You are not sharing a goal in life. His roadmap doesn't match yours.

If you don't close this phase out of your life, then the right guy can't come into the picture. I know...I know...it is hard...but that is true.

The guy that I had to let go still wants to be in the picture...until the next time he puts me on the shelf while he sorts things out. Finally, I put him on the shelf. That was two weeks ago and it is getting easier. I have been out on 5 dates with a new guy that is so much more mature and fun! Yes..there are other people! It just has to hurt for a while.

So listen to what your little voice says. You know it to be true. If that guy doesn't know after a year, he will never know.

I wish you the best. Keep me posted and reach out if you need to vent.

Fena
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 161
In response to letting him/her go:

wow -- this one really hit home -- thanks, Fena!
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 162
Well put.

I, along with many others have experienced the crushing pain of someone not wanting you in their life any longer. It brought me to my knees, it also brought me to see a therapist. With his help I was able to see the words that you speak of, and after 6 months, I was a stronger, better person. I can see much clearer now, and especially see my valuable self worth.

This man that left me over one year ago has finally come to his senses, and has contacted me several times to meet with him, and make us whole again...........

My reply to him:

Sorry, you had your chance, I have now found a man that adores me, and thinks I am terrific.

So my advice to everyone is this. Stay strong, believe in yourself, and seek help if you need it.
A former member
Post #: 66
Fena:

Your words or SEEDS OF WISDOM. along with other people's situations, and comments, is enlightening to me, and is showing make about the changes one can make if they want to. I especially related to the message where you wrote about, "Beating Yourself Up," as I have been doing that for a great part of my life. If I want different results, I want to be kinder to myself. I am nice to people, so why not treat yourself the way you treat others???

Having your SEEDS OF WISDOM is a great concept, as it givers different perspectives on the way you handled situations in the past, and how you perceive, and handle them now. Everyone has a story to tell, learning from people's experiences, as well as my own, is helping me to become the person I want
to be.......................Thank-you for taking the time to share your experiences, and I thank the meetup people, as well.

I must admit, your SEED OF WISDOM, is something I enjoy reading on a daily basis.

See you Saturday evening, at Moretti's (sp).

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