Re: [GayGamers] Why should your reply to MeetUp events?

From: Ken K.
Sent on: Thursday, February 23, 2012 5:52 PM
Thanks Weipeng!  Well said!

On Thu, Feb 23, 2012 at 4:31 PM, Weipeng Bian <[address removed]> wrote:
Too complicated and too many words!! Headache!! 

This is a game group not a food court! If no food and people don't eat before going, then good chance for them to lose weight!! 

People just sit together enjoying company and gaming together! That's all about it!

My 2 cents.

Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 23, 2012, at 3:30 PM, Jill <[address removed]> wrote:

I am really feeling the need to voice my opinion after seeing all these posts about response time and donation fees.  Ken, I was a part of this group before you were kind enough to take it over and change the name and re-organize it.  I have been to the JAYA center and have spent time playing cards with you personally.  I found you to be tons of fun and a very organized and gracious host.  However, I have to say that I have kind of been turned off to joining the meet-ups for many months due to what I feel to be inconsistent messaging.  As an example, the pretensed emails and postings that I had initially received from you were so understanding about people's financial situations during such a down-turned economy.  You clearly expressed your want for everyone to be able to have a fun place to come and relax without worrying about what they could contribute financially.  I thought that was such a lovely stance and made me feel good about being a part of a group that would be so understanding.  I fully understand that there are expenses to some degree and have even been informed that there are organizers fees for hosts (I have contributed my max at events).  I can appreciate the group being reminded to donate what they can and keeping a level of focus on donations.  I have to say, though, that after the very first meeting at JAYA I remember getting a group email from you that spoke to your immense disappointment level at the group for the minimal donations you received.  I thought right away that that email dishonored the pretense you had established.  There have been followup emails that have specified the same thing (about you not feeling that the donation levels were meeting the standards you would like to see).  I feel strongly that people who have donated what they are able and who have perhaps brought a goody to share should not have to worry about so many reprimands after enjoying a nice evening of game playing.  This is all based on the pretenses you established.  In the matter of  response timliness... nobody has the full responsibility to make enough food for every person that comes... I believed that bringing what you could afford to bring and contributing to everyone else's munchie donations alleviated that responsibility.. so, head count isn't all that vital.  It is a game group, set up for the purpose of having fun and relaxing ... even if at the last minute.  I am sure that nobody deliberately sees their response time as relating to you personally and, unless there are vital stakes or responsibilities, I don't think that people should be pressured to respond in "x" amount of days in advance preparation.... especially when there is a "please respond by" time frame on the RSVP list and that is usually either the day before or the day of.  It is a game group.... the one thing probably all week or a few times a month that is, what I feel, a time that someone shouldnt have to fret about or hold an intense responsibility to.  It doesn't mean that  anyone is being disloyal to you or the group if they have to choose last minute between the game group or some other event.  The game group is there for people who want to come, find themselves without other plans at the last minute, or even something they can't wait to get to as their only social event... there is a mix of reasons people come.  If it is because nothing better came up, so what.. ya know?  It is still a choice someone is making to step out, contribute, and be social no matter the pretenses.  The tighter the rules and the more beefs there seem to be with a fun event, the less fun it seems to promote.  If the finanacial needs are different than your initial pretense, just make it clear what the minimal fee has to be.... those than can afford it, will. I just think its not nice to set a relaxed pretense and then seem upset when your more structured expectations are not met.  I would love to enjoy everyone at the game meetings but really dont want to feel that I am going to be subject to disappointment after I have contributed what I can and shared whatever food and time I am able.  Again, it is the one thing in a mass of other stressors and pressures and commitments that brings me relaxed fun and I hate to see things getting so stringent with hurt feelings attached. I suggest you do not make any financial or time committments that you can not comfortably meet.. that way you will not feel taken advantage of or be sensitive to unmet expectations when everyone is just giving what they can and coming when they are able.  I dont want to see you consistently bothered by what should be a fun time for you as well.  When you are relaxed and just playing with the rest of us, you are the sweetest :)  This was not meant to condemn... just meant to express my own feelings. 
 

Subject: Re: [GayGamers] Why should your reply to MeetUp events?
From: [address removed]
To: [address removed]
Date: Thu, 23 Feb[masked]:15:54 -0500

Oh, I try not to take it too personally.  And, I realize people are busy and have many other things going on in their lives.  However the notices go out 2 - 3 times automatically for the events at different time intervals.  I would think by 3 - 4 days prior to an event most would know whether or not they are planning to attend.  Takes not longer to respond than it does to answer a text message.  I don't think the time issue is a valid argument.

On Wed, Feb 22, 2012 at 12:36 PM, Victor Jones <[address removed]> wrote:
Hi,
Sometimes it is hard to respond in a timely manner. With people working during the day and having other things going on in the evening its hard to respond quickly. Ken don't take it personally.

From: Ken Kurtz <[address removed]>
To: [address removed]
Sent: Tuesday, February 21,[masked]:57 PM
Subject: [GayGamers] Why should your reply to MeetUp events?

Well first off, if your a member of a group, you get out of it, exactly what you put in to it.  As a member you have a responsibility to respond in a timely manner.
People that respond early show me that they are truly committed to the group, that they look forward to spending and evening with the friends they have made here.
By not responding it makes me feel as though, this is something they will do only if nothing better comes up.  And if your a friend, it feels like a personal insult.
Finally it really help others plan on how much food to bring, etc.
The "courtesy" of a timely reply is greatly appreciated.




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