Welcome GenderBenders!

While it is becoming more socially acceptable for older women and younger men to date, the relationship is often fetishized, and numerous “cougar/cub” sites are shallow or hyper-sexualized.

GenderBenders is for real women (30-50) and men (20-40) who want to go deeper. We are interested in forming whole-being relationships, through which we can experience spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy. What’s more, while our members actively embrace dating older women/younger men, they do not exclusively date in that formation.

We meet regularly for casual gatherings – forming a supportive community, developing personal connections, and consciously exploring dynamics of the older woman/younger man relationship. For example:

1. What social norms do people generally follow in male-female relationships, and how might those norms stand in the way of our ability to achieve authentic connection?

2. What happens when we rip up the script of male-female dating behavior and begin simply pursuing heart-to-heart connections with the opposite sex?

3. How do we monitor and balance out power differences in inter-generational relationships, to ensure that each partner is part of a healthy and nourishing dynamic?

4. How do we navigate the terrain of social expectations regarding dating patterns, and how do we deal with disapproving, judgmental responses to our relationship choices?

5. What are the sociological implications of older women and younger men dating, and how might these relationships ultimately affect our culture at large?