Gathering Topic - HSP's and Avoidance

Avoidance takes many shapes; wears many faces. On the simplest level, we may "wish" for something but say "I'll wait and let someone else do that, rather than take the initiative." Or, we wrongly assume, 'Because this happened when I did 'A', I won't try 'B' or 'C' either. Or, one of the most difficult situations, 'if I stand up for my needs and set boundaries, people in my life will be upset or leave me.'

This month, we will be discussing how avoidance, resistance, and procrastination effects Highly Sensitive People and how we can move past these patterns to become our own catalysts for  changes and growth we want in our lives.


 

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  • A former member
    A former member

    If anyone's looking for something to do today (Sun) the Sierra Club meetup is meeting in Aledo at a ranch at 3 & they don't have many people signed up yet...so I thought I'd pass the info

    May 18, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Today was much need day for me! Also, I posted the Happy Belly stuff in discussions, on my 'blog' that I update periodically when I want to share. I am working on typing up the second agreement and should have it done by the afternoon tomorrow & I will put it on discussions, in the same spot.

    May 17, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      Ok, I finished typing the 2nd agreement and it is in discussions.

      May 18, 2014

  • Brenda Mckinnon B.

    Really glad i went today.. I enjoyed the group and meeting everyone. Looking forward to next time.
    Thank you Bevin
    Thanks for everyone else who came too. ;))

    May 17, 2014

  • Jennie

    Today's topic gave me a lot to think about and process. It brought to the forefront an issue that I have been avoiding for a while. Thanks, Bevin!

    May 17, 2014

  • Susan Eades H.

    Great to be back and see everyone again!

    3 · May 17, 2014

    • Jennie

      It was good to see you, Susan!

      May 17, 2014

  • Julen

    I messed up :( I thought the event was at 6:30pm. Just saw that it started at 3pm. Sorry Bevin, maybe next time. Darn, really wanted to join and meet everyone.

    May 17, 2014

    • Francis

      We meet for dinner afterwards. If you like to join then let us know and we will share location.

      May 17, 2014

    • Robin

      Sorry to have missed you, you missed a great meet up ... AND, there are quite a few cat lovers, it seems, as well! Look forward to meeting you next time!

      2 · May 17, 2014

  • Rhonda

    Another great topic and discussion.

    3 · May 17, 2014

  • Kim

    Great event. Nice to meet everyone. I think I've found my people! Looking forward to the next one!

    4 · May 17, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    It was a pleasure meeting everyone!

    3 · May 17, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Great!

    May 17, 2014

  • Brenda Mckinnon B.

    Bevin. Got it. Thank you.

    May 17, 2014

  • Marie

    Bevin, I must make an executive decision here for myself abd back out for today. I am a school nurse, and computer problems have caused me to have to re-enter all of my data for my State reports. I had tomorrow set aside to go in, but now I feel panicked and want to go in today since our tech person decided to go in today instead of tomorrow. Please accept my apologies for this late notice. May I ask, do you tape or record these workshops? Or do you ever repeat them? This topic is actually an extremely important one. Thanks, and again, my sincere apologies!

    May 17, 2014

    • Bevin

      Marie, I understand completely. One of the things we learned in the recent HSP retreat was that we should focus on needs, not approval so I completely support your need to not feel pressured at the last minute. I haven't recorded the workshops to maintain confidentiality of participants but will likely repeat some of the popular workshops again

      May 17, 2014

    • Marie

      Ok. Thank you.

      May 17, 2014

  • Brenda Mckinnon B.

    Hi, i hope to make it today... I didn't get the address... Can someone email it to me? I don't have google maps, and that is what comes up when i click on the 'map' here.
    Thanks!

    May 17, 2014

    • Bevin

      Hi Brenda, I just sent an email with address and directions, thanks Bevin

      1 · May 17, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Sorry I will not be able to attend. I hope to attend soon. The topic was relevant to me...

    May 17, 2014

    • Bevin

      Daniel, have a great Saturday, hope to meet you soon at another event

      May 17, 2014

  • Radosveta H.

    Hi Bevin,

    I would like to apologize for not being able to make it today. Last minute call to work today. I was so looking forward to meeting you all. Looking forward to the next meetup.

    May 17, 2014

    • Bevin

      Understand completely, looking forward to seeing you soon

      May 17, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Looking forward to it!

    1 · May 16, 2014

  • Deena

    I see this in myself, especially when it comes to setting a personal boundary about what feels good to me. The avoidance part...but, just this week I let myself avoid speaking my personal truth for just a little while before I spoke up and when I did that felt so damn good!
    It is getting easier!
    Susan, it sounds like you see the pattern. It just takes a baby step to begin to move out of it.

    2 · May 10, 2014

  • Susan Eades H.

    I always avoid things and setting boundaries. Then when I do, after I have taken all the "being in last place of importance" that I can stand, people, who by now have accepted my "pushover" role cannot see me as a person to respect. They get mad and leave, or I leave after they rage at me. I should stand up for myself from the beginning, and set the terms of my relationship, whether friendship or romance, and let them rage and walk in the beginning, before I have any great affection invested in the relationship. By not standing up-by avoiding, I spend my time with people who undervalue me, leaving no room for someone who might treat me equally and with respect. It's almost as if I need a 12 step program to get out of this routine.

    2 · May 10, 2014

  • Kathy

    I think this is probably the number one issue for HSPs. We avoid what is 'scary' or 'doesn't feel right' - and that leads to a downward spiral.

    2 · March 10, 2014

    • Rhonda

      I agree Kathy. It's certainly true for me.

      1 · March 10, 2014

    • Jennie

      True confessions time - true for me as well.

      May 9, 2014

  • Radosveta H.

    Hi, I've been checking my e-mail but I haven't received the meetup address yet. Could you please help? Thank you so much!

    March 27, 2014

    • Francis

      Not crazy! Lol Excited to hear and learn about it is how I read it! We have one workshop a month with social gathering in between. Hopefully you'll make the game night April 4th. We're not having a workshop in April due to Bevin and others attending the HSP Retreat in Austin at the end of April.

      March 28, 2014

    • Radosveta H.

      Thank you :) Stress overload at work and I guess I wasn't paying as much attention to dates as I should've.

      April 19, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Hi! I posted a new blog in discussions about if anyone wants to borrow a movie (Indigo), I can bring it to this meetup or game night/hiking.

    1 · March 17, 2014

  • Radosveta H.

    Such an important topic! Would be very interested in hearing how others approach this.

    March 15, 2014

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