Re: [Houston-Clutter-Coaching] YouTube video of tonight's meetup

From: Laurel
Sent on: Tuesday, April 30, 2013 8:48 AM
You're on!
I have to wait until I get my tax refund though.....
I would tell you to come by sooner just to see what challenges we will face
- but when you see my condo I want to be ready to attack!
It should be soon............
Thanks so much!!
Laurel Franklin
 
From: Simi <[address removed]>
To: [address removed]
Sent: Tuesday, April 30,[masked]:26 AM
Subject: Re: [Houston-Clutter-Coaching] YouTube video of tonight's meetup

Great support, Gayle !

Sent from my iPhone

On Apr 30, 2013, at 1:37 AM, Gayle Goddard <[address removed]> wrote:

Hi Laurel – Sorry to be late in answering, but I got an unusual amount of email after that video went up! I'm still catching up.

I'm glad you liked the video – thanks for watching it! You tell a familiar tale about holding on to the possessions of someone who has passed, in an illogical attempt to keep the person with us. I know it's hard, but I think while on the one hand they feel like the last bits of the person, on the other hand they keep you emotionally in the past. The stuff keeps your wound fresh, like picking the scab every day so it never heals. I would guess that holding onto everything is keeping your pain fresh and preventing you from moving past grief into healing. The fact that you recognize how hard it is to be in the room, unable to touch his things, feeling exhausted whenever you try to clean – all that says to me that the stuff has become a painful emotional burden that is causing continuing and unnecessary pain to you. At the least, it's cutting you off from your family and their love and support. It's been almost 5 years since he died – it's time to make a change in how you deal with his things, and hopefully promote your own healing in the process. 

Like I said in the video, you can't honor your best friend's memory by drowning in his stuff. The better way to honor and cherish his memory is to live your life well, with some special and treasured keepsakes that tell the story of your relationship as you remember it. Wouldn't you prefer to smile and tear up at a cherished memory, remembering something special about your time together? That's what I wish for you, anyway.

Cleaning off the kitchen counter was a microcosm of what this process will feel like when you're done. You said it's nice, you like going in there – a breath of fresh air. Doing that work over the rest of your house and stuff will be a great since of relief and make you a much happier person in the long run, even though it will be hard to do in the short term.

Thanks for asking – I'd love to help you with this project. I can help you clear out, guide you in making your choices of the best, most wonderful keepsakes to save, and help you reclaim your home. Having a goal is really useful – it'll buoy you up when your spirits start to flag as you do the work. Let's aim for having the family over for the holidays. Can you imagine it? It'll be a wonderful event to prepare for sharing with your family. 

I work 3 hours at a time, 10am-1pm or 2-5 pm, M-F, with other appts on the weekends. A regular 3 hour appointment costs $225, with packages of multiple appointments prepaid earning a discount. I'd love to come to your house for a free 1 hour assessment of your house – no obligation to you. I would be honored to help you do this project and start living your life with joy again. That's the kind of challenge that makes me love my job everyday! 

If you're interested in an assessment, just call me at the number below. Either way, I hope you come back to the Meetup again – I'm glad you came by to watch!

All my best, Gayle

--
Gayle Goddard, CPO®
The Clutter Fairy
[address removed]
[masked]
http://www.clutterfairyhouston.com/ - sign up for our newsletter!
www.facebook.com/TheClutterFairy - visit us on Facebook 

From: Laurel <[address removed]>
Reply-To: <[address removed]>
Date: Thursday, April 25,[masked]:03 PM
To: <[address removed]>
Subject: Re: [Houston-Clutter-Coaching] YouTube video of tonight's meetup

I just finished watching tonight's meeting.
Gayle, I know you chose that topic just for me.
In 2008, my best friend died - so I have my stuff and his stuff in my house.
It is so hard to 'process' the stuff! I almost cannot touch it. I sometimes feel paralized in my own house.
And when I do work aound the house some - I get sooo exhausted. WHY?
He is not coming back. I cannot get new stuff from him. It was hard enough to let him go. This is all I have from him.
If I get rid of the stuff then I will have moved him out of my life. He is still with me - in his stuff.
I know that is not true - but he is not here and it feels that way.
We used to listen to music while we cooked and then watch a movie while we ate what we cooked.
This entertainment center is part of my memories of him. 
 
Anyway - I loved the video!!
I am beginning to think that cleaning up my home is like taking a yucky tasting medicine -
its better to take some than none at all.
 
I need a timer. I can do little bits of cleaning in little bits of time.
Lately, I have put in a CD - kind-of like whistle while you work
because if I turn the TV on I am obligated to sit on the couch and watch it -
but music - I can move about.
 
Last weekend I did just that - put in a John Mayer CD. I played that CD 4 times - over and over -
but I found counter space in the kitchen!! Its like a breath of fresh air. I like to go in the kitchen now.
I have been using paper plates for several months now because I have so much cleaning to do that I did not want to be bothered with doing the dishes.
I stop and look at my white counter tops.... my - its nice!
 
You know what hurts the most is... having a family and wanting to see them, but you are too embarrassed to have them over. Truly that is ny goal right there - to have my family over to eat and visit. I miss them, and this house makes me nuts! My goal is to have the holidays at my house this year. (Thanksgiving and Christmas) I closed/purchased my condo mid November, 1999. I had that Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house that year. With everyone there - it was so nice!
 
Does it help to put a carrot in front of the donkey when it comes to cleaning up the house?? A reward?
 Maybe just having my family over for the holidays is reward enough............
 
How much do you charge? I have a tax refund coming and I think I would like your help!
 
Gayle, thank you so much for helping me!
Laurel Franklin
 
From: Gayle Goddard <[address removed]>
To: [address removed]
Sent: Thursday, April 25,[masked]:35 PM
Subject: [Houston-Clutter-Coaching] YouTube video of tonight's meetup

Dear declutterers,
If you missed tonight's meetup, you can now watch it online on YouTube.
Enjoy!
Gayle Goddard
Meetup organizer




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