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MORE ABOUT AGING

Well, our last topic on Aging was such a big turnout and my promise was to take some of the ideas that surfaced from that meetup and expand on them in future meetups. So . . . .

Here is an excerpt from Psychology Today that says it far better than I can. I'll also post some "seed" questions on the Discussions page, so check that out when it appears as well.

A small but growing gaggle of experts (themselves mostly elders)—a diverse lot of gerontologists, physicians, psychologists, sociologists, anthropologists, philosophers, ethicists, cultural observers, and spiritualleaders—are the vanguard of a movement to change the way society looks at and deals with growing old. They seek to have us stop viewing old age as a problem—as an incurable disease, if you will—to be "solved" by spending billions of dollars on plastic surgery in an attempt to mask visible signs of aging, other billions on medical research to extend the life span itself, and billions more on nursing and retirement homes as a way to isolate those who fail at the quest to deny aging.

Separately and together, this cultural elite is exploring ways to move us and our social institutions toward a new concept of aging, one they call "conscious aging." They want us to be aware of and accept what aging actually is—a notice that life has not only a beginning and a middle but an end—and to eliminate the denial that now prevents us from anticipating, fruitfully using, and even appreciating what are lost to euphemism as "the golden years."

"Conscious aging is a new way of looking at and experiencing aging that moves beyond our cultural obsession with youth toward a respect and need for the wisdom of age," explains Stephan Rechtschaffen, M.D., a holistic physician who directs the Omega Institute, a kind of New Age think tank that is a driving force in this attitude shift. He would have us:

  • Recognize and accept the aging process and all that goes with it as a reality, a natural part of the life cycle; it happens to us all. The goal is to change the prevailing view of aging as something to be feared and the aged as worthless.
  • Reverse our societal attitude of aging as an affliction, and instead of spending billions on walling off the aging, spend more to improve the quality of life among the aged.

Our denial of aging has its costs. Rechtschaffen is adamant that it is not merely our elders who suffer. Quoting the late psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, he says, "Lacking a culturally viable ideal of old age, our civilization does not really harbor a concept of the whole of life."

We now live, and die, psychologically and spiritually incomplete. It may be a troubling sense of incompleteness that most stirs an appreciation for age among the baby boomers, so unfamiliar is any sense of incompleteness to the generation that invented the possibility of and has prided itself on "having it all."

Participants in the movement range from Shetwin Nuland, M.D., surgeon-author of the surprise best-seller How We Die, to Betty Friedan, who has dissected American attitudes toward aging in her latest book, Fountain of Youth, to spiritualist Ram Dass, Columbia University gerontologist Rence Solomon, Ph.D., and Dean Ornish, M.D., director of the University of California's Preventive Medicine Research Institute.

Until now, the conventional wisdom has been that only the aged, or those approaching its border, worry about its consequences: rejection, isolation, loneliness, and mandated obsolescence. Only they care about how they can give purpose to this final stage of their lives.

Sherwin Nuland has clear evidence to the contrary. His book, How We Die, paints a shimmeringly lucid and remarkably unsentimental picture of death—the process and its meaning to the dying and to those around them. The biggest group of readers of this best-seller? Not the elderly, as most observers, and even the author himself, had anticipated. It's the baby boomers. Curiosity about age and death is booming among the boomers.

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  • Barb E.

    Hi Sandy. We are moving on the 9th so I won't be at meetings for a while. Enjoy and I'll check back soon.

    October 28, 2012

  • A former member
    A former member

    As the baby boomers start reaching their late 60s and 70s -- aging will NOT be a problem -- we have a very different attitude than the "experts" in Psychology Today!

    October 28, 2012

  • Sandy M.

    I'm excited about revisiting this topic and also seeing many who have been unable to attend our last few meetups. Don't forget the new location, it's very close to Fronimo's and you can always call me at[masked] if you need help finding it.

    October 28, 2012

  • Sandy M.

    Our discussion last Tuesday on Bridging the Gap: Inter-generational relationships covered a range of experiences. It seems our perspective on the younger generation, the older and our own has as much in common as differences.
    As we discussed we realized we all like having both the company of our peers and of all ages while still keeping our own identity and not “trying to be the other generation”. All in all, we shared examples of our experiences with family, children, siblings and the like. Even our bosses and business associates came into the conversation. It was a regular gab fest and I for one enjoyed it. Welcome to the two new members. Ffor those who were not able or not interested in attending this one, there will always be more to talk about, to explore together and to support one another on in future meetups.
    Next Meetup Topic will be announced soon posted. I'm also posting some photos from our Breakfast hike and on inter-generational relationships. Enjoy!

    October 22, 2012

  • Sandy M.

    Our discussion last Tuesday on Bridging the Gap: Inter-generational relationships covered a range of experiences. It seems our perspective on the younger generation, the older and our own has as much in common as differences.
    As we discussed we realized we all like having both the company of our peers and of all ages while still keeping our own identity and not “trying to be the other generation”. All in all, we shared examples of our experiences with family, children, siblings and the like. Even our bosses and business associates came into the conversation. It was a regular gab fest and I for one enjoyed it. Welcome to the two new members. Ffor those who were not able or not interested in attending this one, there will always be more to talk about, to explore together and to support one another on in future meetups.
    Next Meetup Topic will be announced soon posted. I'm also posting some photos from our Breakfast hike and on inter-generational relationships. Enjoy!

    October 22, 2012

  • mary

    Sounds fun.I enjoyed the last meeting and gave me much to think about.

    September 21, 2012

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