London Atheist Activist Group (friendly community) Message Board ONGOING CAMPAIGNS REMIT 2: CHILD & ANIMAL RIGHTS (over religious rites!) › PERMANENT CAMPAIGN: Most religious parents guilty of child abuse -please hel

PERMANENT CAMPAIGN: Most religious parents guilty of child abuse -please help break the cycle

Georgi L.
Guffaw
London, GB
Post #: 1,729
Despite most no doubt having the best of intentions, EVERY parent with religious beliefs is UNDOUBTEDLY guilty of child abuse if they are in any way pressuring their children towards religion.

Of course the same goes for atheist/humanist parents if they are forcing children to their own set of values. But the religious case is of course HUGELY more common - almost ubiquitous - since the principal tenets of most religions includes creating more of "their own"; passing the virus both horizontally and vertically.

Please consider this powerful letter, it is a case that we have heard so often - many in our group have shared their own similarly harrowing stories and ensuing mental stress in adulthood. Please help to break the abuse cycle by sharing this letter with everyone you know, FB, tweet etc

This genuine (heart-wrenching crying) letter puts into written words, what is so often unspoken ...the victim being too afraid/too compassionate/too loving towards their inadvertent parental abusers, to say so.




"Dear Mom and Dad,

When I was a child I couldn't tell you this. I would never have even imagined saying it. I was never given the chance to object.

You took a 4 year old little boy and willingly taught him that he was a worthless sinner and could never be good without your religion. Then you didn’t just teach me that I was worthless, you told me that if I ever disagreed with what you were teaching me, I would burn forever in hell. Thanks for those adulthood nightmares, by the way.

The toughest part in saying all of this is that I know what you did, you did out of love, but all you left me with was guilt and fear, and you sent me out into the world to spread your message of Machiavellian love and fear.

The thing is, what you did to me was wrong. It was child abuse. It fucked me up and left me not knowing who I really was at the age of thirty because I had never been allowed to find my own identity as a person and instead had been manipulated through fear tactics and psychological terror sold in a loving package delivered by the two people I trusted most.

How can I express this without hurting you? I doubt I can. I just wish you could see that despite all of this I still love you because I know that in spite of the negative results you were only doing what you had been programmed to do by your parents.

That cycle ends here. My children will be who they are and I will love them for it. They will be free to choose their own beliefs even if they are different than my own. Because a parent shouldn't conform a child to the dictates of some ancient book written by sadistic sociopaths in the desert thousands of years ago, they should set them on the path to self discovery so that they can grow up without the oppression of guilt for the crime of being born.

I’m sorry no one learned this lesson for you, and that hurts most of all.

Your son,

Timothy"




I would be curious to know if anyone can still say after reading it, that it really enough to say "who are we to tell religious people they're wrong to bring their children up in this way... all we should do is live a good life ourselves, not interfere, and religion will go away itself"??
Personally I think it is cowardly, and shirking of the responsibility we have, (as the lucky ones with the good fortune of having been able to escape this kind of cultural/religious mental (and in many cases physical torture of FGM etc.), towards those who are being forced into it - with no choice of their own.

If that isn't child abuse, and human rights abuse ( taking away someone's choice of what happens to their mind and body), then I wonder what is?! Does it being "well intentioned" mean that we should ignore that it IS abuse, nonetheless? If we stand by and watch, are we not guilty of abuse too?

So I would urge you, please consider sharing this letter with everyone you know, FB, Tweet...whatever you can do to at least start the conversation, to get people to acknowledge it and not bury their heads in the sand ...and we might just help one child from being abused.


rodney k.
user 91786232
London, GB
Post #: 8
I would love to be able to forward this letter to my daughter in Sydney. Recently I have been in correspondence with my Grandson, her son, who attends Scots Presbyterian college Sydney. in reply to my question he says that he does believe in the Lord the creator,and expects to find salvation through Jesus Christ. he is Fifteen. They say he will be taught science through God's truth. They also believe that all children are born in a "fallen condition".
I will not forward the letter because if I did it would upset my daughter so much I would lose all contact.
She had no religion at all in her upbringing but her husband did.
I feel that I will never have a proper relationship with my grandson, it's all so bloody stupid.
Georgi L.
Guffaw
London, GB
Post #: 1,791
Hi Rodney,

Yes it is all so bloody stupid, and I can imagine how frustrating, annoying, damn right scream-worthy it must be for you. I suppose the solace might be that your grandson might discover the Internet atheist sites and start questioning, and thinking for himself. It's increasingly likely in today's age, so hold out hope. smile

Hope you and Valerie had a nice cruise in any case.
Grumpy G.
user 9343299
London, GB
Post #: 1
This is a thought inspired by Gorji's opening post to this thread.
I have not read the letter yet but I thought I'd share my thoughts as they cross my mind before I forget :-)

I disagree with the fact that parents act out of the best of intentions. So many parents out there, irrespective of their belief systems, DO NOT act out of their best intentions but instead plain unhealthy egocentric motivations. Those are parents full of emotional and psychological problems who use their kids as subtitutes of themselves & a source of love. Any decent human being with a healthy functioning brain would think the love giver should be the parent. But things with those delusional parents work the other way round. The child is the love giver and must be a reflection of the parents (in their profession, their belief system, their tastes, their opinions, etc). With such parent, there is a big price to pay to get love (when you think love is key to the healthy development of a child's brain and mental health! Shame on those parents I say). In two words, with such parents - and many parents out there are like this - the child cannot be themselves, cannot be full stop! Needless to say that this can but result in misery later on in life psychologically speaking. Those same parents use psychological aggressivity to intimidate, to terrify, to undermine, to hurt until they have it their way. And I believe those parents DO VERY WELL know deep down that their behaviour is not right. One would be amazed with the level of hypocrisy human beings can be capable of.

right, time to continue reading :-)
Grumpy G.
user 9343299
London, GB
Post #: 2
Addition to my previous post:

Many parents practicing those abusive techniques believe because there is no law regulating this, it is totally acceptable. Many parents equate their parental status to a license to erase their child's human right to individuality. The problem is the legal system and society's stigma towards mental health allow that. The mind is the key to everything in life and yet the world thrills on disregarding serious health matters related to the mind. What is wrong with society? The same type of problem applies to the educational system....Ken Robinson gave a marvellous talk on Ted Talk about this....the world's folly sometimes is seriously worrying I admit






Georgi L.
Guffaw
London, GB
Post #: 2,414
Hi Alexandra, I see these are your posts 1 and 2, so a warm welcome to the group and the forums :-)

Those are parents full of emotional and psychological problems who use their kids as subtitutes of themselves ... Shame on those parents I say). In two words, with such parents - and many parents out there are like this - the child cannot be themselves, cannot be full stop! Needless to say that this can but result in misery later on in life psychologically speaking. Those same parents use psychological aggressivity to intimidate, to terrify, to undermine, to hurt until they have it their way. And I believe those parents DO VERY WELL know deep down that their behaviour is not right.
Many parents practicing those abusive techniques believe because there is no law regulating this, it is totally acceptable. Many parents equate their parental status to a license to erase their child's human right to individuality. The problem is the legal system
I agree. We give too much leeway to say parents think they are acting for the good of the child. Treating the child as an extension of themselves or as a possession is selfish, but as you say, unfortunately the state and the legal system says that is essentially the case. We need to change this and put child and animal rights above adults' religious rites.
Grumpy G.
user 9343299
London, GB
Post #: 5
Hi Georgi,

Thanks for the warm welcome.
It certainly is reassuring to know there are other like-minded people out there.
I look forward to more conversations and joining in future meet-ups!





Jorge
user 134044402
London, GB
Post #: 142
Nothing beats cold hard reality when showing why religious indoctrination is child abuse.

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