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LEC Movie night: Intimacy - 2001

  • Mar 28, 2013 · 7:00 PM
  • This location is shown only to members

Intimacy is a 2001 film directed by Patrice Chéreau, starring Mark Rylance and Kerry Fox.

Intimacy is an international co-production among production companies in France, the U.K., Germany, and Spain featuring a soundtrack of pop songs from the 1970s and 1980s. It was written by Chéreau with Anne-Louise Trividic, based on stories by Hanif Kureishi, who also wrote a novel of the same title. This mainstream considered film contains unsimulated sex scenes. 

Jay (Rylance) is a bartender who abandoned his family, because his wife lost interest in him and their relationship.

Now living alone in a decrepit house, he has casual weekly sex with an anonymous woman (Fox), whose name he doesn't know. At first, their relationship is purely physical, but he eventually falls in love with her.

Wanting to know more about her, Jay follows her across the streets of London to the grey suburbs where she lives. He then follows her to a theatre pub where she is working as an actress in the evenings. Jay learns that her name is Claire, and has a husband (Timothy Spall) and a son. Subsequently, he terminates the relationship, as he thinks of his own sons, whom he loves and misses. They meet for a final time, and have sex with an intimacy that has been missing during the illicit sex sessions of their previous encounters. 

The sex scenes are REAL so if you are easily shocked or have any objections to watching REAL sex on screen please do not RSVP for this film.

Awards:

Intimacy won the Golden Bear for Best Film and the Silver Bear for Best Actress (Kerry Fox) at the Berlin Film Festival in 2001.

Running time:   119 minutes

Meet up:

The movie will start at 7.30pm.

Please note that we show this movie for educational purposes within our club.  This is a strict members only event.  Please do not embarass yourself (and us) by bringing a guest, who we would need to turn away.

Please note that we ask members for a contribution of £3 to allow us to budget for future events.  Your support is very much appreciated! Thanks.

The upstairs bar will be opened for us from 7.00pm and please order any drinks and food at this bar.  Please note that the kitchen will close at 9.00pm, so if you want to have food you will need to order before then.

_________________________________________________

London European Club is run by dedicated volunteers, who don't have time to waste with people who don't show up at events. If you don't show up to three events that you have RSVPed to, you will be banned from the Club. Changing your RSVP in the last 24 hours prior to the event is strongly discouraged and may result in an immidiate ban, especially when it comes to our most popular events such as this one.

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  • Seamus

    Dear Martin, thanks for your post - can you come down to speakers corner one Sunday later in the month? let me know which day is good for you - same thing applies to Dennis I hurt my knee at work about 3 weeks ago so I have not been able to go to meetups but thankfully it is getting better. We can have a beer and really let rip with our viewpoints. tale care. Seamus :)

    April 6, 2013

  • Seamus

    Dear Dennis and Martin,

    I am going to organize a Speakers corner Sunday / walk round Hyde park – followed by pub and good old discussion talk / talk on all subjects light hearted and serious.
    http://www.speakerscorner.net/
    http://www.royalparks.org.uk/parks/hyde-park
    I am thinking of a Sunday towards the end of April when hopefully the British summer will have actually arrived ;) I hope you can both make it. Meeting interesting, intelligent people such as you two guys, Penny, Maja, Marion, Sybrand and so on has enriched my life so much. Some times maybe we just need to agree to disagree ?
    With affection
    Seamus
    PS
    Does anyone know of a big pub near Hyde Park where say 30 of us could easily be accommodated?
    I am planning on doing a having a look round myself but any suggestions would be welcomed.

    April 5, 2013

    • Martin

      Dear Seamus; I appreciate your reconciliatory attitude but I think we've already agreed to disagree anyway... The reason I spoke out was just to highlight an issue many people clearly prefer to disregard for lots of reasons (usually convenience and prejudice, fear of looking "out of tune" with the society but also perhaps lack of time to stop and think honestly about our own actions). It's entirely up to everyone to take it further and make up/change their own mind if and as much as they wish.

      April 6, 2013

    • Martin

      My comments have been met with some overt resistance and contempt already, mainly based on an excuse that it is the wrong place and time for making them but it would be rather naive to believe they would suddenly become more digestible and welcome if we removed that argument. Sad or not, there are apparently more people round here than I thought, who treat the most intimate area of our life (or happily approve of such treatment by others around them) with as much consideration as they pay to having a coffee with someone. Of course I'm happy to see you and many others whom I know and respect again at some point but surely not at an event dedicated to (or dominated by) further discussions and dwelling on the possible risks and implications of shagging strangers. Also please let's finally move the communication from this event's page as Maja already requested.

      April 6, 2013

  • Seamus

    Dear friends,
    I could not attend this event as I had to work till 7 pm. However, I would have liked to watch this film. I agree and appreciate with many things that Martin says: sex is always better when there is love between the two people involved ( 2 men, 2 women, 1 man 1 woman to me it is all the same).
    The reality is that in our western society we are bombarded by sexual images in all the media: print, online, TV etc. The sad fact is that in this wonderful city of London there is a large amount of men and women working in the 'sex industry'. Many married people are having affairs. Surely it is worthwhile to explore these problems in art; i.e. the film intimacy - rather than pretending that we live in an ideal world that has never existed? I say this with respect and affection for Martin.

    April 3, 2013

    • Martin

      And this is not a worldview or moral superiority that I or anyone else has arbitrarily created and maintained to suppress anyone's freedom, it's the life that provides us with facts and arguments all the time (it may be and certainly is a concern of many religions and philosophies as well but I would never use their arguments here and there is no need for that as I said earlier). I never said it's easy and simple to get things right, let alone be consistent with it all your life. But realising the issue is the first step which you choose to dismiss entirely. Yes, I do believe as well that life is colourful and there is definitely much more to it than sex and if people realised it more often there would be certainly much more genuine happiness and fewer frustrations and disasters (in the sex lives and outside.

      April 5, 2013

    • Martin

      I believe we've made our points clearly already with slim chances of convincing each other any further, so (also because probably noone else is reading this anymore :), how about putting the differences aside now and leaving it there? I do hope we can carry on discussing other things (as we've done rather nicely over many months before) in spite of that and build on what we do have in common. Just let me know.

      April 5, 2013

  • Marouen

    Guys, Can we please move on and stop commenting here cause we have no way to this discussion without leaving the meetup group or stopping all communications. Thanks

    1 · April 4, 2013

  • Martin

    "Funny (???) how many of you said "I had a similar experience" (Maja), "so common everywhere for many of our generation" (Tiziana) - sadly true but apart from "alienation", bringing in all sorts of misery and human decline with it - sexually transmitted diseases, abortion (or alternatively unloved and uncared for children), shattered relationships (or even childhoods as it happens ever earlier), broken families - for all of which we pay as a society in one way or another, sooner or later - and that's what some people still curiously call "no strings attached" and "my private business". No, it's not. I'm wondering and doubting based on some comments below if any of the above was seriously confronted in (and after) the film or rather happily avoided as too intrusive and judgmental, stopping some of us from "making most" of life (or at least experimenting with it). That's where the real problem is, regardless of what scenes (real or otherwise) the actual film contains and other nuances.

    April 3, 2013

  • Martin

    I had a long email discussion on this movie with Maja arguing that it is unacceptable to show real and casual sex taken out of love and relationship context in a film claiming to be "mainstream" regardless how noble the motives behind it are, because it is a complete moral contradiction in itself and compromises any claims with regard made by its makers. And with today's perfect acting and editing skills, there isn't a slightest excuse for including such footage, from either moral or "authenticity" perspective. All this however is, according to her, irrelevant and on the contrary, the film is actually one of the most important of all we are going to see here as "most of us are single and struggle with the issues of alienation and non commital sex"... While I'm not implying this is simply rubbish (the first bit at least), I seriously doubt anyone here has any problems of the gravity comparable to those of the main characters.

    March 11, 2013

    • Maja

      Because I thought that arranging to see a movie with another person ( The Croods) is something for the inbox of thst other person. And because we don't have a moderator.

      March 29, 2013

    • Martin

      Hi Dennis, thanks for trying to stop me from slipping into excessive englishness, I'm completely with you on that, so it was unlikely to happen but thanks anyway ;-) I said that exactly to mirror and mock those (Anglo-saxons but not only) who for all sorts of "legitimate" reasons constantly refer to the freedom of speech etc. when they are trying to undermine and ridicule established and sensible (even if "inconvenient"­) values just to be able to go ahead with their own lives dominated by short-sighted pleasures and/or profit chasing (depending on which area of life we are talking about). Regarding the other film, it looks good but please do get in touch via email as you have been instructed :D

      April 3, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Thanks Maja for suggesting this film.

    It brought up some interesting things for me around how we, as a society, are so afraid of intimacy. It also made me realise how "easily" we allow ourselves disconnect from ourselves and dissociate from our surroundings when we are in a moment/situation where there is a possibility of deepening our connection, both to others and ultimately to ourselves.

    1 · March 30, 2013

  • Stephan

    I liked the film a lot. Five stars from me. Thank you for showing it. Working with people I am so aware we need more honest exploration of real relationships, real sex and real intimacy. So much out there is promoting various very unhealthy fantasies of relating including frustratingly many religious organisations. Truth always being the issue. Society wants to airbrush truth to fit the collective dream… irrespective how toxic that dream is. With my filmmaker hat on its intriguing to notice how well it works when sex is not completely acted but at least somewhat shown as it happened there that moment on set. It removes one layer of potential falseness. Inching towards truth… great, more please.

    2 · March 30, 2013

  • Gracie

    Sadly missed the discussion but found the film quite thought provoking - staying with someone you don't love simply for security and finding comfort in another man. However I thought no strings attached was every guys dream! so for the guy to have a problem with it, was a bit strange. I was entertained that he didn't last very long so obviously for the woman it was just an escape rather than pleasure? cause she cant have orgasmed in his 2min attempts. He needs to try Hatha Yoga! I look forward to the next one :-) I will send my suggestions.

    1 · March 29, 2013

    • Grazia

      I don't thinks was the case...he was trying to pull himself together after leaving a sexless/loveless marriage and she just "happened" to him...and she clearly said it was the first time in a long time that she had wanted someone....which makes him more than just an "escape"...:)

      March 29, 2013

    • Stephan

      Its one of the cultural myths that "no strings attached was every guys dream!" Many woman and many men "think" this is true. Advertising and media are definitely promoting the idea. intriguingly also many woman. In my view (and experience as therapist) most men - beneath the crippling cultural conditioning - want nothing more then be able to give their love/heart to a woman. Sexual desire - aside from it being the 10 billion years hardwired imperative to keep the species going - is only one expression of this.

      March 30, 2013

  • Tamsin

    Thanks, Maja - interesting and thought-provoking film which you gave us the opportunity to see. Liked the fact that the whole film was done in a very 'au-naturel' way.

    1 · March 29, 2013

  • Donald A.

    The film generate a lot of good discussion afterwards

    March 29, 2013

  • Grazia

    Loved the film (which was already one of my favourites), enjoyed the discussion post-film, a brilliant night. Thanks Maja!

    March 29, 2013

  • Andy H.

    A thought provoking and gritty experience. I am now officially also primed to enjoy a feel-good comedy the next time I go to the movies!

    1 · March 29, 2013

  • Maja

    Intimacy was a brilliant film the first time I saw it, and it still is. I strongly recommend it to people who'd prefer to see it in their own home. Thank you all for the most interesting chats. Funny how many of you said "I had a similar experience". Must be something about London :-)

    1 · March 29, 2013

    • Tiziana

      Me and Daniel both missed part of the dialogue (being bloody foreigners) - what we got was poignant though, so we were wondering whether it would be possible to borrow the DVD to watch it at home with subtitles (..?) : )

      March 29, 2013

    • Maja

      My copy has only French and German subtitles. I could bring it to Sardinia :-)

      1 · March 29, 2013

  • Tiziana

    Good movie, represented the 'f**k buddies' dynamic so common everywhere for many of our generation. It's not just London, though, based on what I hear from my friends from Italy. It's the outcome of solitude: a surrogate of the love and connection which are absent in the 'real' life, a sort of sexual escapism (so much easier to have a good time with somebody you hardly know, whom you have no ties to).
    It did really spur debate afterwards: so many different points of view, coming from our different personal experiences.

    March 29, 2013

  • sofia

    Dear Maja, thank you for organising yet another meaningful and thought-provoking film viewing. I love world cinema and always feel excited about your choice. I don't always stay for debates,but I did today and it was great! I do understand and appreciate the film you have shown today much better after the discussion with fellow members. thanks again

    March 29, 2013

  • Maja

    I saw a lot of drop outs due to late working hours at our last movie night. Please do not RSVP to our movie nights if you think you may be working late. The meetup starts reasonably late (7:30pm), and it is not fair to "reserve" a spot if you think you may be working late. It is better to RSVP last minute if you are free to come. THANK YOU!

    March 1, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      Well done, Maja. Really enjoyed both the film & the evening - thank you !

      1 · March 28, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Will be arriving from Coventry so might be late

    March 28, 2013

  • Carlos P.

    Hi. This is my first meeting so I hope to have a nice movie night.

    March 28, 2013

  • Tanja

    Not sure if I can make it on time depending on the traffic. Sorry

    March 27, 2013

  • Rohini

    I'm so sorry I will be missing this one. I'm stuck in bed down with the flu. Hope to see you as soon as I recover.

    March 27, 2013

  • Maja

    Sorry Andrew your comment was out of context and was deleted. Like I said (many times) before, please debate AFTER the event. We don't have a moderator.

    March 26, 2013

  • Tiziana

    I'll come but leave you early, as I've got an early rise the following morning

    March 26, 2013

  • Andrew

    what does LEC mean anyway.....

    March 25, 2013

    • Maja

      London European Club

      March 26, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Sorry, other plans. Films look good though...

    March 25, 2013

  • Natalia

    Won't be able to make it unfortunately because of a work commitment

    March 21, 2013

  • Maja

    I can see the "moral police" is after the London European Club. I suggested the screening of Intimacy because I think it is very relevant to the Club. The film won the Golden Bear for the best film at the Berlin film festival in 2001 and a Silver Bear for best actress (the same year) so I am afraid more relevant critics than those who have an objection to watching real sex scenes on the big screen have judged that the work of Kerry Fox is worthwhile. I am aware that the issue of unsimulated sex can be a controversial one (if you want to see other films of this genre please go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unsimulated_sex_in_film)

    While I understand that people may not come to see the film because of the content criticizing a film and rubbishing it without seeing it to me equals burning books without reading them. So the screening of Intimacy will go ahead and I look forward to the debate AFTER the film because we do not have a moderator.

    1 · March 11, 2013

    • Martin

      There is nothing in what I'm saying or have said that requires the use of moderator, if anything does it is the movie itself but we've gone through that already and I take the discussion is finished now.

      March 11, 2013

    • Maja

      Martin that is your oppinion. It is not the "given" truth. By trying to "warn" us of the content you have become the "moral police". We are all adults and hopefully make an informed choice when we attend events at the LEC and anywhere else. By making this debate public you assume otherwise which is my problem with your posts. The problem doesn't lie with Intimacy or the fact that it was suggested for the LEC movie nights. It fullfils the criteria being an award winning European film, the event was clearly described and there is no need for anyone to tell the rest of us wether to watch it or not. You can accuse me of trying to promote "pornography",­ "show rubbish" or of cutting down on "freedom of speach". But it is precisely because I do not do any of those things, that Intimacy will be shown in the Club. I hope that the discussion on the wall is finished and I look forward to the debate after the event.

      2 · March 11, 2013

  • Grazia

    hear hear, Maja

    1 · March 11, 2013

  • Daniela

    changed to no because of the movie content

    1 · March 11, 2013

  • Grazia

    Amazing film, saw it several times..great choice.

    March 4, 2013

35 went

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