10 Steps to Finding Love

The Loving Men team has travelled far and wide to learn about dating and relationships for gay and bi men. We've read the books, studied the research and done the workshops. We've spoken with thousands of men who are looking for love in the city over nearly two decades.

At this special evening, the day after Valentines day, we'll bring you the 10 most practical, interesting and life-enhancing steps to finding love that we have found on our travels so far.

Come and join us in Soho for a fun, informative and interactive evening with lots of other men who are also looking for love.

Light refreshments will be provided.

This meet up is part of our occasional series in London called Love in the City.

£15 earlybird if booked by 30th January, £20 thereafter or on the door if space permits.

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  • Tim F.

    Hi Everyone, the Oresentarion from the event is now up on www.lovingmen.org. As is a workbook called Getting Ready which has lots of exercises and tips about looking for love. They are both on the Resources page of the website. Enjoy!

    1 · February 24, 2014

    • Nirmal S.

      Hi Tim, hope you are well. I'm hosting the Quest 1st Tuesday social next week on 4th March and wondered if it is okay to mention this in a round robin email to the Loving Men network to get people to come along for support? Let me know if this is okay to do. Thanks N

      February 26, 2014

    • Peter

      Where is it being held?

      February 26, 2014

  • James C.

    I guess at this stage the message about over crowding is loud and clear. However this could easily have been averted by limiting the numbers. Fifty people In that size of room would have made it a very different and certainly more enjoyable evening. I have tried during the week to work out the Winnie the Pooh story and it's relevance but it's still a mystery to me. Some interesting ideas and a nice chance to meet up with people. Maybe the next time have a designated venue that we go to afterwards.

    1 · February 23, 2014

    • Tim F.

      Hi James, thanks for your feedback. The story from Winnie the Pooh is all about looking too hard for something in a habitual way. When they gave up looking for the way home in their habitual ways and used their intuition (being quiet & listening for the sound of the honey pots) the way home became clear. Perhaps the same is true for finding love?

      1 · February 24, 2014

  • Nirmal S.

    Overall I enjoyed the event. I'm not sure that I learnt anything I didn't know but it certainly helped to reinforce some practices that I'd perhaps forgotten. In terms of venue I thought it was a good spot - centrally located in the heart of Soho so people could hang out afterwards. I think it would have been better to limit numbers but that's been mentioned several times. If you are looking for a larger space then someone I know has mentioned this place: 1KX 120 Cromer Street nr Kings X
    www.onekx.org.uk. Worth checking out?

    1 · February 23, 2014

    • Tim F.

      Thanks Nirmal. We'll take a look.

      February 24, 2014

  • Tim F.

    Thanks for all you comments - we really appreciate your feedback. It will help us plan future events. We need a bigger venue - that is clear! Any suggestions?

    February 22, 2014

    • Mehul G.

      For me there are 3 areas where this event can improve:

      Limit the no. of participants to increase the quality of interactions.
      Cover only a few concepts but drill them into detail to generate deeper insights
      Split the event into 2 days to create meaningful interactions between participants and giving better chance to connect

      2 · February 23, 2014

    • Mehul G.

      From venue perspective try eventbrite - they have some great rates/venue choices

      1 · February 23, 2014

  • michael g.

    wiil this happen again .iam sorry i missed it Best Michael g

    February 17, 2014

    • Tim F.

      Hi Michael, sorry you missed it! I'm sure we will do something like this again. There was so much interest - we'd like to follow up. Watch this space!

      February 22, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    It was uncomfortable having to wait outside in the cold for the doors to open. I went along for the theory and found the ice breaker activities to be excruciating, I did not expect this at all. All my own stuff I acknowledge! Great people, lovely men but too many in a small venue and too much bell ringing and shouting! Pity since there was so much generosity and good will in the room. I did gain from it and see my need to grow more.

    February 21, 2014

  • James

    I am still turning over last Saturday in my mind. It was a very enlivening experience to be with everyone and it would be great to bump into people again and talk about it. I will go to the Quest social on Tues 4, 6.30 -10. the details are on their website at the quest awaits you. I had thought of trying to arrange a meet up but then I thought the Q social is quite soon and might be a good place to reconnect…
    Hope I haven't broken any rules mentioning another group.

    2 · February 20, 2014

  • Tim W.

    Hello. I found the evening really overcrowded and a bit full of stuff. I also did not really 'get' the Geraldine presence - for me it just seemed to undermine what was going on and was just silly. I was hoping for something with more depth and for the organisers to be a bit more in tune with each other.

    February 19, 2014

  • Richard T.

    Hello everyone. I came away with a number of things to reflect on. Although not entirely new it was useful to have these brought home clearly. For example, heartache is an inevitable part of relationships. I thought the phone numbers exercise was a good practical push in that direction. Would like to see the slides again. Also interesting to see what Beverley is like in the flesh.
    From Richard T

    1 · February 19, 2014

  • Mehul G.

    Dear LM founders and organisers,
    More than 20 comments out of 80 attendees is 25%, showing how engaged and passionate we feel about it.
    Please do take time to go through the feedback as this is only the starting and we want you to continue and keep improving.

    Dear Attendees,
    This is for our benefit, let's own this event and help our LM organisers to better understand our needs and respond to them effectively.

    We are in it together, so let's move together.

    Mehul xx

    3 · February 19, 2014

  • James

    I really enjoyed the event and met some wonderful men. The speed dating element came as a surprise and was fun. I imagine the organisers were not expecting such a large turnout. The room was crowded and the pace fast. By the end I felt excited but slightly overwhelmed and not quite sure who I should give my number to or whether I would be able to find them...
    Went to Comptons afterwards with quite a few people from the room. That was good as we had a chance to talk further.
    I suppose my feedback would be that it was great but perhaps to try to allow for a little more space and time and to limit numbers. Also if possible to encourage everyone to go on to one bar and continue the conversation.
    Overall thanks for a great night I am still buzzing!

    2 · February 19, 2014

    • Swar M.

      Hi James, I agree with you on most of the points you made. I really enjoyed the evening and met some old and new faces whom I had met from previous events. However, I too found it a little difficult to find the men I wanted to give my number to. I was lucky I found myself standing next to one of them at the end. I would actually say that the 10 steps were a lot to discuss fully in the time allowed. Also it was very loud so I couldn't hear or be heared easily. I would suggest offering the same amount of material over a weekend at a venue that is bigger. The participants can bring their own food. I think having a large number is a very nice thing and I wouldn't limit the number of participants, but we need a bigger venue.

      February 19, 2014

  • Paul

    I enjoyed some of the evening and there were some really nice guys there. However, there were too many attendees for the space and it felt crowded and limiting at times. Some of the presentation was good, other parts less so. I still don't get the reading from 'Winnie the Pooh'. The 'drag' was not funny and completely irrelevant to the evening. At the end,I didn't like being encouraged to give out/receive phone numbers. This felt pressured and too much like speed dating!

    2 · February 18, 2014

  • Roland

    Very good indeed!

    1 · February 17, 2014

  • francesco d.

    the evening was joyful and i believe to a point we all understand how "good" or "bad" we are in approaching possible dates and this was thanks to the "phone number" exercise. i don't mind if alfred want to dress up in drag,that had no impact on the substance of the evening.one serious criticism that i have to highlight is the organization of the space.most of the time we were sitting down,consequently majority of people where "barned" in the same area. i never had a chance to free range the other side and speak with the other guy's opposite my sitting area. final comment has already stated SWEET AND WELL MEANING.

    3 · February 17, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    I have an aversion to noise and crowds, so arriving to find a scene of booming voices, whistles and yelling completely unnerved me.
    I found the exercises the most favourable, but all and all, like Ian I was hoping for something with more depth.
    I felt the drag along with the large numbers of attendees lessened the substance.

    1 · February 17, 2014

  • francesco d.

    sweet and fun

    1 · February 17, 2014

  • Rainer

    Good exercises and good presentation. Some of it felt improvised and some material well prepared. The drag seemed completely irrelevant. All in all it felt like a generous and warm event, informative and fun.

    3 · February 16, 2014

  • Ian

    Too elementary for me. For example, I didn't need to be told that there are books I could read. Hoped for something much deeper. But, for anyone new to events with gay men or talking about themselves, it was probably confronting enough.

    2 · February 16, 2014

  • Dennis C.

    Another great LM event. A good reminder that we are all worthy of love.

    3 · February 16, 2014

  • Tim F.

    What a great evening. Thanks for everyone's contribution to a warm, funny, informative and reflective meet up!

    3 · February 16, 2014

    • Mehul G.

      It certainly was an evening to cherish. You guys did achieve a balance between information and interaction. I do hope to attend more of such workshops!

      February 16, 2014

  • Swar M.

    This event brought my awareness confirmed some things I knew I needed to do. It was very useful and thoroughly enjoyable. Thanks x

    3 · February 16, 2014

  • Prasetyo U.

    this is very interesting, looking forward to attend this event.

    February 14, 2014

  • Neil T.

    Unfortunately I won't be able to attend as I will now be working until the evening. If there are any plans to go somewhere afterwards please let me know and I'll try and join

    February 13, 2014

  • Tim W.

    Inquisitive optimist.

    January 20, 2014

Your organizer's refund policy for 10 Steps to Finding Love

Refunds offered if:

  • the Meetup is cancelled
  • you can cancel at least 14 day(s) before the Meetup

Additional notes: We will refund £10 if cancellation made more than 14 days in advance

Payments you make go to the organizer, not to Meetup. You must make refund requests to the organizer.

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Rafaël

We just grab a coffee and speak French. Some people have been coming every week for months... it creates a kind of warmth to the group.

Rafaël, started French Conversation Group

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