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Midlife Dating Discussion

  • May 4, 2014 · 2:00 PM
  • This location is shown only to members

                                     PLEASE NOTE NEW VENUE

I have changed the venue due to a greater than normal response. We are back at the Willow Park Field House in Glenview where we met in March. This way everyone who is on the waiting list can come. There is a maximum of 50 persons. Due to this change of venue there is a $5 fee because Glenview charges for the use of their field houses. It is a perfect venue as those who attended in March can attest. 

Please let me know if you are unable to attend so your spot can be given to another member.

Only non-alcohol beverages allowed, finger food allowed

New idea: if you have a question or concern that you would like addressed at the meeting but would prefer not to ask , please write it on a 3x5 index card and give it to me (no name on card, obviously) and I will use them for discussion. If we don't get to all of them, I will introduce them at subsequent meetings.

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  • A former member
    A former member

    When is the next meeting and where?

    May 8, 2014

    • barbara

      Hi Kari go to upcoming meetings...all the info is there

      May 8, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      Thanks Barb...

      May 8, 2014

  • katia

    Hi Marla,
    yes, I have been always impressed by the differences we human beings experience in similar conditions and life situations; the harder part though is to understand and respect those differences in the other person;
    That is why I think that there are no "should" or "should not" rules in dating; I am not sure that anybody can write or teach us of any "100% money back" advises for dating; it is so individual and yet complex experience for each of us and that is why we all struggle;
    My dream is to meet the guy that makes me feel good and safe and etc and if there are "the hormones" from the 20's between us that would be even better; The wisdom of our age does not contradict intimacy;
    Whatever makes two people to feel good together and to look for each other company is may be the answer.....
    I wonder what the rest of the group think?
    My best wishes to all of you for good night
    Katia

    May 7, 2014

    • Shelly

      We all need to understand what our personal criteria is in finding an ultimate partner. It usually isn't the first person that comes along and shows interest. Meeting different people will help you process what will make you happy. It's easier to make a decision when you have choices for comparison. I have learned that even if you don't know for sure what you want, meeting and dating will teach you what you don't want. That will help define and refine your choices. I believe happiness will come when you meet someone that you can easily communicate with, has similar values and life goals, compatibility, mutual respect and physical attraction. These criteria are in no special order, but help to create a more ideal "total" package that will come with fewer regrets. How do others feel?

      1 · May 8, 2014

    • MARLA

      I agree with you, Shelly. What I was trying to stress in my earlier comment about thinking in terms of 'we' and not in terms of 'I', was related to some of the remarks that were made when we met on Sunday. My feelings about that applies to any and all types of relationships.

      May 8, 2014

  • MARLA

    I feel that we shouldn't let our experiences with dating when we were in our teens and/or our 20's be the guide for dating in our midlife. We should be more mature now and we have to realize that our hormones don't have the influence on us that they might have had when we were young and in our prime. LOL

    May 7, 2014

    • Alan

      I disagree. I think that intimacy is still vital to a relationship. Everything should have an influence.

      May 7, 2014

  • jim

    I agree..interesting discussion. Honest, real and at times very funny. First meetup I've been to in over 2 years. Glad I went. Thanks Barbara.

    May 7, 2014

  • Shelly

    Done Deal!!! It might be nice to share some social time as we bond together as a group. BTW... when is the June meeting (and time)? I've already seen the July 27 meeting mentioned for Arlington Heights Memorial Library from 1 - 4 PM.

    May 6, 2014

    • barbara

      The June meeting should be listed right before the July meeting. Go to "upcoming meet ups" on the left side of the home page. They should be there. Thanks for the positive commentary on the group

      May 6, 2014

  • Mary R.

    Thank you Katia, it was nice meeting you too.

    May 6, 2014

  • Karen

    I really missed not being able to attend this past discussion. From my participation at the last session I found our group has a unique dynamic and the openness and hospitality displayed by the group has left me looking forward to the next discussion that I'll be able to attend. Have a wonderful week everyone (and Happy Mother's day to all Mom's - May you enjoy your special day!)

    May 6, 2014

  • barbara

    I believe that Willow Park has a grill also and it is the newest and nicest of all Glenview's field houses.

    May 6, 2014

  • Shelly

    Good conversation on Sunday. Midlife dating is a learning experience and we're all in this together. Hopefully, more people will share their thoughts and opinions so we can all learn from each others experiences. There are no right or wrong answers. We're all just trying to understand how both sides think (no not Democrats & Republicans).

    For an outdoor get together, Willow Park is great and I believe Glenview has another location called Cole Park. It has a field house, kitchen, bathrooms and possibly an outdoor grill. Something to look into.

    Every meeting has been a growing experience as I've gained more insight into the mystery of midlife dating. Great job by Barb keeping the dialogue moving and the subjects, whatever they be, open for discussion.

    1 · May 6, 2014

    • Alan

      Cole Park is awesome, its fairly secluded but doesn't have as large of a facility as Greenwood Park.

      May 6, 2014

  • barbara

    We are thinking of having a pot-luck get together in August. If this is of interest to you please let me know and I will find a suitable place. I am open to suggestions of location. Incase of inclement weather I think we should have the option of a venue that has a covered area. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks

    2 · May 5, 2014

    • Susan

      Barbara, the Glenview location is great. We have parking, bathrooms, a building in case of rain, and a lovely park.

      May 5, 2014

    • Shelly

      I agree with Susan... another regular "supreme".

      1 · May 6, 2014

  • katia

    thank you Barry

    May 6, 2014

  • katia

    Hi Mary, was very nice meeting you yesterday;it is very interesting for me how different people with different backgrounds are facing similar problems

    May 5, 2014

  • Mary R.

    The meetup was interesting. I enjoyed it. I am sorry I didn't introduce myself. I will next meeting. I would love to attend pot-luck. Willow Park would be a great place for a pot-luck.

    1 · May 5, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    So sorry I missed this time., Hopefully will be able to attend the next meeting!

    May 5, 2014

  • barbara

    Thank you to all who participated in Sunday's meet up. It was wonderful to see the "regulars" as well as new members who added their opinions to our ongoing discussion on the trials and tribulations of dating.

    1 · May 5, 2014

  • Susan

    Barbara, you are wonderful and so funny at leading our group of Midlifers.

    May 5, 2014

  • katia

    thank you Barb for your effort, enthusiasm and positive energy! it was very new and great experience for me; it was challenging to meet and hear different opinions; the people were open, honest and thoughtful and just bringing their own feelings and wisdom to the table was really valuable

    1 · May 4, 2014

  • Alan

    Great time today. Barbara is an amazing moderator and kept the conversation flowing, interesting and diverse.

    May 4, 2014

  • Maureen H.

    Thank you Barbara! Very interesting. I want to learn more and more. I cannot help but wonder if anyone has made it at least to the two year mark or past it in the group.

    1 · May 4, 2014

  • kurt e.

    I cant go, I have something come up at the last minute.

    May 4, 2014

  • Alma R.

    Friends, I am really looking forward for this day to see you all. Unfortunately, I am still here in Grand Rapids, MI, my daughter's rugby tournament for National championship just got done.... They are 4th place.... Yeahhhhhhhhh.... With regrets, can't make it... I thought they get done early... I hope you all had fun.... Miss you all. See you around....

    1 · May 4, 2014

  • Eric

    I'm sorry that I won't be able to make it today & for the last minute cancellation. I hope you have a great discussion. Blessings.

    May 4, 2014

    • barbara

      We will see you next time. Enjoy the day

      May 4, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Not sure if I can attend today! If not- have a great meeting...

    May 4, 2014

  • jola

    My apologies. My daughter's May 1st Birthday celebration got moved to Sunday and I am cooking. Have a great meeting everyone!

    May 3, 2014

    • barbara

      Hope to see you next time. Enjoy your day

      May 4, 2014

  • Mary R.

    Looking forward to seeing all of you, on Sunday!

    May 3, 2014

  • barbara

    Hi to all who are meeting tomorrow at the Willow Park Field House in Glenview at 2:00. Please remember to write any questions you may want to ask on a 3x5 note card. Feel free to bring non-alcoholic beverages and food if you wish.

    There is still room for additional members since we have had some cancelations. Also, there is a $5 charge that Glenview requires to use the field house.

    Looking forward to seeing everyone and welcome to the new members.

    Barbara

    May 3, 2014

  • Faye

    Hi everyone, This will be my first meeting with this group and I am excited reading all the enthusiastic comments from so many of you. It shows that there is a real desire to connect on such an important commonality...and opportunity for growth. I am looking forward to this! Thanks Barbara for getting this going!

    May 3, 2014

  • Sid B.

    Unfortunately, my car failed the emissions test and is in the shop. Can anyone offer a ride? I'm in Schaumburg.

    May 3, 2014

  • Shelly

    Alan, I think your assessment of yourself was "right on". You're way too serious! Lighten up and enjoy life.

    1 · April 30, 2014

  • MARLA

    Glenview is great. Do you think you'll be meeting in any of the northeast burbs?

    March 28, 2014

    • Alan

      It's called the north shore for a reason. Those are northern suburbs. Their are not be suburbs because nothing can be ne of chicago only north.

      April 20, 2014

    • Alan

      I did go to New Trier. THERE are not NE suburbs, because its implying NE of Chicago. There are no suburbs NE of Chicago only N.

      April 30, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    will need to cancel, So sorry was looking forward to meeting everyone.

    April 29, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Had to cancel out...Sundays are kind of iffy for me. Hopefully, I'll make it to one of these events in the near future.

    April 29, 2014

  • katia

    Yes, good morning! Since we cannot get out of the "London" weather I hope our discussion on Sunday will bring some light and hope in my life; It is interesting how the hope keeps me motivated, energetic and happy;
    I am very curious to meet the members of the group and listen to the different experiences
    Love to see you all

    April 29, 2014

  • Alma R.

    Good morning beautiful people... Am looking forward to see the group again this coming Sunday. I maybe a little late driving from Grand Rapids MI, but I will be there....SMILE...!

    1 · April 29, 2014

  • Mary R.

    I am coming alone. Not plus one. If someone needs a spot. See you this Sunday!

    April 28, 2014

  • Shelly

    We need a bigger room to accommodate all us lost souls looking to find fulfillment in our midlife years. Yes, Barbara, it really is me. I'm no longer +1!!!

    1 · April 28, 2014

  • Mary R.

    I will see you o Sunday!

    April 28, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    I hope you find a space for me!

    April 28, 2014

  • katia

    Thank you for the spot so I can attend; I am excited to meet you guys

    April 21, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    This is 2 miles from my house and I am on the waiting list? The western burbs are too far.

    April 21, 2014

    • barbara

      I'm sorry but it has nothing to do with location. Members who have signed up previously take the spots. If there is an opening I will be in touch.

      April 21, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Hi Barb...I suggested maybe a BBQ - could be fun!

    1 · April 20, 2014

    • barbara

      Hi Kari. Let's discuss your idea at the May meeting. I look forward to seeing you

      1 · April 20, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      Thanks Barb...

      April 20, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Why are you selecting libraries?

    April 20, 2014

    • barbara

      Because there is no charge and it's a quiet venue. If you have some other suggestions I'm open. I have been asking for help in finding appropriate venues

      April 20, 2014

  • Alma R.

    Happy Monday friends! Sharing with you my thoughts about venues - being somewhat new to Chicagoland, it's to my advantage whether we go north or west venues - make me familiar with the surrounding burbs. As long as my calendar is open, then I will go... Cheers...

    March 31, 2014

  • rob n.

    Actually, I hope that most of the meetings ARE in the suburbs, especially the northern ones, since that's where most folks seem to be from for at least the first two meetings.

    1 · March 28, 2014

    • Nancy

      I'm hoping that most will be weekends in the north suburbs. I won't be able to do anything during the week.

      March 30, 2014

    • barbara

      Hi Ladies. At this point all meetings will be on Sunday out north/ northwest . If a city group wants to meet during the week then we will offer that also. The biggest obstacle no matter where we meet is the venue.

      March 31, 2014

  • barbara

    Hi to all. June and July meetings will probably be in Arlington Heights and Schaumburg. For those who live in the city I realize this may be difficult even though they are on Sundays so I need your help in finding suitable city locations which offer parking. This meet up is not intended solely for the suburbs but without your input....

    March 27, 2014

    • barbara

      Pam...please email me at [masked] Barbara

      March 27, 2014

  • Nancy

    For those of us in the suburbs evenings in the city would be tough.

    1 · March 23, 2014

  • Lisa

    I'm maybe so far. Looks like a great group. :-)

    March 18, 2014

  • barbara

    It was suggested for those who may feel uncomfortable asking a question it could be written on an index card and I could share it with the group. I think that is a great idea and we will use that approach for the next meeting. If it works then I will keep the cards and toss out a few questions at each meeting.

    1 · March 17, 2014

  • Nancy

    Pot luck is a great idea.

    1 · March 17, 2014

  • barbara

    For those of you who were not there on Sunday...We stayed in one group instead of breaking into 3 separate groups which worked very well. Discussion ran from what was expected on the first meeting (who should pay, suggestions on how to kindly let the person know you were not interested, how long should you spend together, etc) to revisiting different dating venues and what to expect. A few of us were quite surprised at hearing examples of what had been first dates for some of the members. It is amazing what people consider acceptable behavior. However, those examples brought lots of laughter!

    We have 2 members working on venues in Schaumburg and Arlington Heights for June and July. Is there interest in perhaps having a pot-luck get together this summer?

    2 · March 17, 2014

    • Alma R.

      Yes, a get together potluck is good, something different.... At the park? Cool.... I'll bring my ethnic dish.... Then we can have games, etc.... Oh.... I can't wait for this.... Just some thoughts running in my head....

      1 · March 17, 2014

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