Have you been to those horrible singles dances? Are you tired of seeing the same old, boring faces? Are the people on the dance floor old enough to have lived in Jurassic Park? Have you been on so many blind dates, you should get a free dog? Have you tried other meetup groups, or even done the whole internet dating thing?  If you're like me, they have only held disappointment. 

You are not sad or lonely, you are just frustrated.  The photos you see online are twenty years old. The heights, weights and body descriptions supplied are pure fiction. You meet the person and can barely recognize them from the picture that they had posted.  A person has said that they are well traveled meaning that they have searched on five different continents and still have not hooked up.  They say they prefer casual dress which you know means that they are a slob. They describe themselves as fun which is key for "I drink way too much". You don't understand why people lie, while you are truthful. You are willing to go the extra few steps to meet a quality and attractive person.

 My plan is simple for you, but not so easy for me.   I will be very, very selective when accepting you as a member. I don't like hurting anyone, but if you don't fit in with our group, you will not be accepted.  If you meet the requirements, I will personally contact each and every one of you via telephone.  I will arrange a cocktail party, complete with cocktail party attire and age appropriate guests.  I will cut off the guest list when there are equal numbers of men and women. I am aiming for a minimum of 70 people and a maximum of 100.  I will do my best to charge a reasonable fee for the evening and will select an elegant venue in Nassau County.  Now here is what you must do.  You must be willing to submit a RECENT photo -- not your Bar or Bat Mitzvah photo, not your High School Graduation photo, not a photo of you holding your son who is now 35. You must be attractive, educated and within the age guidelines.  I will be able to verify this with your drivers license. You must eventually submit your cell phone number so that we can chat.

 Lets face it, we all know what we want and what we like.  Lets just make the job a little easier.  Be honest, be determined and be willing to take just one more chance.  Maybe this selective meetup group will be your answer.  You only need one real person, not a litany of outdated photos.  The party will be scheduled for the third or last week in March, probably on a Sunday evening.  I can't do this alone.  I will need you to join in to make this new singles group successful.  Please no marrieds, (I don't care how misunderstood you are) no young guys looking for a cougar and no ladies seeking their green cards.