Oh god, 9th *grade.* As if dealing with the entrance exams at the end of winter last year hadn’t been bad enough, now you get to deal with the fruits of your so-called academic labors, and while the Ayn Rand Transformative School for Youngsters isn’t the worst high school of the bunch, it’s affirmatively mediocre. Like, makes Applebee’s look like a Michelin Star Restaurant mediocre. Not bad enough that Mom and Dad can be justifiably upset, but well – you can smell the disappointment leak out of their pores when they stare at you long enough.
But hey, at least you've got a pretty easy schedule, six periods, even got a cool little film and tv elective – but this seminar they’re making you take in what should’ve been your free 6th period seems like it’s going to bite the big fat one, I mean, seriously, “Atlas Seminar: Future Leaders?” It was those extra twenty points on the entrance exam – you knew you should’ve tried harder to try less on that dumb test.
Too late to regret your life choices now -- first day of school is here! Ah, the smell of autumn, jock strap sweat, and acne are all like a sweet perfume to you; time to fight for your place in this teenage ecosystem, figure out if you're to be queen bee or the gummy substance on the bottom of the lacrosse captain's shoe -- all alongside dealing with your *personal* problems.
Unlucky for you, and those around you, your personal problems tend to be in the range of having fangs and claws and occasional severe blood lust.
Monsterhearts is every hormone-oozing CW show full of werewolves and slayers, it's every YA novel about sparkling vampires, it's hysterically over-blown, and yet -- something compels us to these tales, these archetypes of struggling youth.