MKNMPR: all authoring here byIDestinyexcept where noted here.
MKNMT4: for prior history see last listing which this is a copy of.
MJ9DMJ: updated for MHUAXJ & later, adding "MJ9DX8"; MHQ8ST: subpoints, Qty0to2, factoring this text out of MDJQ6Z; pst[masked]Wed1416.
MKNMUM: added MKNMLQ; changed title fr(OC-Polyamory's Eat&Discuss on (SUGGEST TOPICS -comment here!) #12+) to present, plus set MHUAXJ to match; set attendee limit from infinite to 21 per venue; pst[masked]Tue1834.
MJ6AZ9: For those in or visiting America's Southern California's Orange County,we are your community group cateringto all levels of & interest in polyamory, from ol' timers to those just curious about the community or if it might be for them. If you're in or around OC and one of the increasing many actively living the poly lifestyle, or just experimenting with it, or want to meet other locals into it (maybe even to find some romance!), or just curious to know what it's all about, definitely join us! And we welcome couples, singles, triples, quads, & more!
MJ7NN8: As an example of one of our leaders is our our Event Host Dr. Corynna Clark: "I'm a Tantra teacher, .. I'm consciously poly & practice bringing awareness to all my relations ..relating.. on the highest level that evokes our divinity.".
MJ6D76:We actively limit who can get in ( membership & attendance) to balance the male-female ratio at events:
MJ6DQS: we only admit a sex (males or females) when it won't cause our events to have an excess of that sex at our events.
MJ6DU5:This has only ever had to apply to males. Because of the high # of males applying,currently only ~1 of 5 males gets admitted our group.So, males, make sure your application isoutstanding.
MJD8EG:Be accurate/honest & complete. Including
MJD8WF: it'smuchfaster & easier for everyone for you to do it right rather than do it over. Including apps that don't get it right the first time get 2nd priority as for those then we must stop & explain what all to fix and review again before we approve.
MJD8GX:Allow time for processing your application; we're unpaid volunteers, so we review new & fixed applications ~1x/month.
MJD9BA: We don't yet require but much prefer 1 profile/user per person (as >95% of people do already), rather than a profile which represents multiple people, however:
MJ6CMJ:Absolutely not allowed is a member romantically-cheating on anyone, including on non-members (as cheating on any outside romances), at least not via our members; and so nobody gets hurt from our existence, we do police this; for, per the core definition of polyamory, if one have multiple simultaneous romances, everyone involved must know & consent.
MJKKOJ: who in 2004 founded one of the 1stpolyamorygroups Meetup ever had
MJKKPB: who's been publishing & promotingpolyamoryever since ~1997 when, despite my beingborn romantic jealous, I independently inventedpolyamory(except forcompersion) as something which "just makes good sense" --then later someone told me "Hey, what what you've come up with & doing called "polyamory"!".
MJKJ8O:Consequently most references linked here in this our group description, including "polyamory" itself, are to his publications on the topic.
MJCOOF: He is out of the area except for ~2 weeks of the year when he hosts polyamory events here..
MJCOJZ:His role is just (1) an Event Host (specifically just to run any related events he creates) plus (2) pay our Meetup hosting fees per his gracious historic offer & custom to do so (a paying Meetup subscriber is entitled, for his/her payment, to head, so pay the hosting fee for, a maximum of 3 groups, so Meetup listing him as the Head Organizer instead of an Event Host is only so he can pay our hosting fee).
MJ6BQI: And we generally have 1 or more additional credentialed leaders as "MJ7NN8: Dr. Coryanna Clark" above.
MJCRJU:And we're always needing more leaders & events! So please volunteer or nominate someone --by commenting on event listing or doing "Suggest a Meetup".
MJ6B86: Most important, We definitely have the most integrity.
MQFG87:Report & cast-out sexual cheaters! As plagues every poly group (but few well-protect from it), every meeting & month, 1 or more people (usually men, but occasionally women, too) try to use (abuse) our groups&members for their romantic cheating: these sexual predators seek out additional romances here (and at other romance & especially poly groups) when they actually and typically-secretively have other romances (typically a wife or husband, or other girlfriend(s) or boyfriend(s): typically an unmentioned (but often quite significant) person in his/her life or person who is "ok with it" BUT never "happens" to show) who don'tallow the predator additional romances (likely wouldn't allow it for a second!), so rather than renegotiate the predators lies and says or suggests they would allow him/her, or just hides his/her other romances; and while these predators plague dating sites&groups of all sorts in order to pray on members to get more cheating, they especially target & hurt poly groups&members almost certainly because predators figure the polyamorist or poly-curious is an easy target: if the poly member/group finds out about their other romances, the predator predicts (too-often accurately) the member/group will mis-think the predator's other romances have "of course" given predator permission to have additional romances (when anything is further than from the truth!), or at least will be be open to sharing the cheater (the cheater predator wanting to selfishly have & dominate all) --but don't tolerate for a moment anyone being sexually prayed upon: Following the rules of poly (which don't allow one's other romance(s) hidden from one another including before a new romance begins), we check everyone as best we can to insure our members & attendees are free from romantic cheaters, including verifying on each person's profile group application, which (per Meetup) is also his/her continual profile. But the biggest difference can be made only by you: Report & cast-out sexual cheaters! --Don't tolerate anyone being sexually prayed upon. Result: as cheater & cheating free as poly is supposed to be; and, if you hear of someone leaving/quitting us in a disgruntled huff, if past is any predictor of future, it's likely because they then realized we're serious and with us the hurt they're doing cheating (or attempting to) is going to get or has gotten exposed.
MJ6BVG: From Destiny's efforts, we're followers of the universal community group rules (see point MDMSQY below) so we make sure everyone is cared for, treated fairly, and no one disrespects anyone. Including having & following top rules:
MJCXHY: we don't allow anyone to act negative against anyone, nor against our group, without appropriate "due-process" -see core rule MJ9IGT below.
MJCXII:We pioneered profile Q MGCRel, plus member-enforcement per profile accuracy MJCSEK below, especially to allow people wanting to check out us & polyamory but NOT yet allowed to have additional romances to still be a member of our group (yes, even though our group notably facilitates finding new people to romance with) while still preventing them, and every member, from exploiting our members & group to find people to romantically cheat with --a problem for any dating site/group but a notable problem for groups-with-integrity catering to open relationships as especially then both (1) newcomers reasonably first need to investigate this new romance form but (2) other members are then already open to a person having additional romances so then easily mis-assume a member's other romances grant similar permission.
MJCYG1:Whereas for our "competitors":
MJDBG: many polyamory groups have rules which say, & say often loudly, "This is not a pick-up or dating site. This is not a place for posting detailed personal ads or solicitations.", and even though this is also likely denying of what very typically but now covertly still happens nonetheless; whereas we realistically & healthily actively encourage finding & building romance, and can do so with integrity by also developing & enforcing top rules to spot & rid the bad parts.
MJ6BVY: Rather confusingly, one of the "alternative" groups is almost identically named Orange County Polyamory but is not the same; I give you here the URL as I recommend you NOT bother joining as no benefit to you, as note both groups are headed by the same person but that group is mostly inactive (indeed note it's description says it's "an experiment.") and it lists just ~1 event/year and that event is already also listed here anyway, and latest plans are the members of that group will be rolled into this one and that one closed.
MJ6BVR: Another of the other "polyamory" groups in OC on first look comes off as very active & sexy BUT at heavy price, including join it expecting to be maybe approved and then quickly & suddenly thrown out (what happens to most people who've tried it), as it's actually brand new to the scene (both the group & to the concept of polyamory) and not-surprisingly formed heavily by former & possibly-present swingers (so from typically overt & rampant casual sex & pure-physical) and, worst of all, hasproven itself to cavalierly & often wrongly throw out ~1/3rd to ~2/3rds of its just-accepted members, including goodfolks including even established polyamory leaders,while ironically keeping & facilitating troublemakers including malevolent gossipers plus those known to use poly groups group & their members to cheat on their spouse and families, starting by their leaders not actually checking the facts despite their claiming to carefully check out each member. With the by-far highest turnover of any Meetup group I've ever seen, they so routinely & without-warning throw out so many members (as in 2013.02 their membership suddenly dropping from ~95 to ~60 in 2012Q4 and then dropping from ~60 to 37 in 2013.02) that it occurs to me & others who've witnessed it that maybe they only just keep members whom their leaders actually might want to sleep with!
LTDSHF: a great intro to Meetup. New to Meetup.com? Welcome to Meetup, too! – the most-powerful major website to find & host in-person groups. If you want, simply use your Facebook to login. Meetup provides you 92,000 in-person local groups: all topics, worldwide, & mostly for free.
MJCNH9: Additional rules:
MJCSEK: Be complete and especially accurate/honest.
MJKNGE: to "MJ6CMJ: Absolutely not allowed is a member romantically-cheating on anyone, .., at least not via our members", fixed bolding on italics,+added the portion underlined realize regulating beyond this is unrealistic & arguably invasive; pst2013.03.12Tue1651.
MQFEOU:MJ6D5O: fully update, starting 1st with approving apps not 1/wk but 1x/month; MQFG87: added, to MQFG87; pst2013.07.24Wed1030.