OC-Polyamory's Eat&Discuss #13(Parenting,+more topics via cmts)+

MEEvtL event listing MBPR0W:

  1. MHQ8ST: Want more folks attending, plus great events totally suiting you? Then MAKE IT HAPPEN! -click here! Including:
    1. MJ9E11: for our upcoming/future events
      1. MJ9E48: Don't wait, RSVP NOW! And if a MAYBE just say YES with explanation.
        • MJ9EOM: for special-interest Meetups as ours, this REALLY helps build attendance more than anything else.
      2. MJ9E9N: SUGGEST TOPICS by commenting on the event listing, with 1 top-level comment per topic.
        • MJ9EPD: We typically cover the topics people suggest.
    2. MJ9ESK: BRING YOUR LAPTOP + Devices for accessing Meetup, including for website sharing & research, posting questions & announcements, RSVPing for future events, and much more: just click that link.
  2. MDJQ6Z: Occurrences plus Historic Changes, in order:
  3. LG4OWH: What are these codes as “LG4OWH:” on this point? They’re short IDs to date-stamp, uniquely-reference, & portably-track most any point or item.
  4. MDMN8M: Listing History, in order
    1. MKNMPR: all authoring here by I Destiny except where noted here.
    2. MMF3E0: for prior history see last listing which this is a copy of.
    3. MMF3FE: updated title from no topics to present; since now only 6 not 7 private Qs allowed, cut Q on carpooling; updated MHUAXJ thru rest; pst2013.05.07Tue0122.

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  • DestinyArchitect

    Rudy of Mission Viejo http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ ATTENDANCE & REVIEW OF THIS EVENT -everything about that goes here in this thread.
    *”Fri, Apr 5, 2013 .. 4:25 PM” he 1st RSVPed for this(YES) -thx! *He's been a “Member since: April 4, 2013” so fairly new
    *This will be his 1st of our events he's attending!
    *Welcome, Rudy!
    *Rudy, normally folks don't get w/o a complete profile (&we've got a long list of men our pending list of mbrs waiting to get in), so please complete ur profile so all Qs are fully answered (most especially required Q MGCRel covered in my Greet there to u yesterday “9:38 PM”), ideally before this mtg else there ( bring ur ur device (ideally laptop) for managing meetup; everyone typically does).
    *Also welcome to Meetup! -I see u're a “Meetup member since: April 4, 2013”.
    *Pls skim http://1.JotHere.com/MHMore­ for a great Meetup intro+great rules used by us & other community groups.
    *I look fwd to 1st mtg u & finding out what u're all about.

    May 7

    • DestinyArchitect

      Rudy, I noticed we're both driving along the same path to get to this meeting. So WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN CARPOOLING? -always fun plus being Green. Just Reply-post here. If so, I can meet u at ~6:30pm at the Starbucks of Laguna Woods on El Toro & Paseo; and I (and often other attendees) generally stay till at our mtg venue close ~11pm because the meeting & venue is so much fun.

      May 7

    • DestinyArchitect

      Rudy, as you can see from my greet to you above, I was looking forward to 1st meeting to you, but you were a NO-SHOW to this event. And you didn't reply to any of my comments to you here. So what happened? Reply here (much preferred) else email me.
      *I know you are brand new but we do notice everyone here as everyone is special.
      *I ask you now as I started looking at last meeting when preparing for today's upcoming meeting http://meetup.com/OC-...­ where we now have 8 RSVP YESes.

      June 6

  • DestinyArchitect

    Mukunda Rajah of Newport Beach http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ ATTENDANCE & REVIEW OF THIS EVENT -everything about that goes here in this his thread.
    *”Wed, May 1, 2013 .. 1:52 AM” he 1st RSVPed for this (YES) -thanks! *He's been a “Member since: October 28, 2012” so I've seen his profile several times before, including he's also a member of our neighboring polyamory groups, but
    *Since then we've added some great & important profile Qs, esp. important&required MGCRel, so, Mukunda, pls update ur profile so again all the answers are fully answered, ideally before the mtg else there (bring ur ur device (ideally laptop) for managing meetup; everyone typically does).
    *This will be his 1st event with us he's attending!
    *Welcome, Mukunda!
    **but please show (as the 2 times before when u RSVPed YES u were a no-show, one time causing some probs; no, we need & want to see u)
    *I quite look forward to 1st mtg u & finding out what u're all about.

    May 7

    • DestinyArchitect

      Mukund, as you can see from my greet to you above, I was looking forward to 1st meeting to you, but you were a NO-SHOW to this event. Indeed this is getting serious: now all 3 events you've RSVPed YES for you were a no-show. What happened to you? And what's going on?
      *I ask you now as I started looking at last meeting when preparing for today's upcoming meeting http://meetup.com/OC-...­ where we now have 8 RSVP YESes.

      June 6

  • DestinyArchitect

    roger http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ ATTENDANCE & REVIEW OF THIS EVENT.
    *Now I RSVPed him YES per http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ .

    April 3, 2013

    • DestinyArchitect

      *This thread's URL is http://meetup.com/OC-...­ .
      *See also his wife Jaylene's thread http://meetup.com/OC-...­ .
      *Yesterday as he&Jaylene are important, I sent this SMS reminder/pointer to event & discussion here, quote q(Me: Roger(&Jaylene), thxMuch 4 RSVPing YES &quite lkg fwd2 seeing u again@tomorrow 7pm-10pm http://meetup.com/OC-...­ incl u'll see there the topic (Parenting) I've announced there(in the title) per ur request 4it. Read there for the latest; and any updates&changes u hv,pls explain&post there.Thx! 7:58 PM)
      **Jayleene quickly responded with important news (and where we might be able to help them: pls try): see her reply http://meetup.com/OC-...­ .

      May 7

    • DestinyArchitect

      Roger, we enjoyed having you last time, but you were a NO-SHOW at this one. What happened to you? Please Reply here (preferred) else email me.

      June 6

  • DestinyArchitect

    THE LOW ATTENDANCE&LEADERSHIP-VOLUNTEE­RING (often below critical mass http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cr...­) ) AT OUR _LOCAL_ EVENTS -WHAT'S CAUSING THIS?

    May 8

    • DestinyArchitect

      Cmt2of2:
      **While all our OC evts got jst 2to8 attended,
      ***the polyamory meetup grps of our neighboring counties(LA(blue)&ev­en IE(white))all hv monthly mtgs of ~23 http://meetup.com/Inl...­ ,&while the LA grps r older,we still ~2.5x older than Inland but they ~4x attended!
      **our_biggest_ever attendance(22 RSVP YES)fr the 1_LA_evt we (re)listed(Brentwood Pool Party) http://meetup.com/OC-...­ &of ~73% OC ppl; so ~3x more of our OC mbrs go2 LA mtg than2 OC mtgs!!
      **@that party our mbr-*fr-there* Renee http://meetup.com/OC-...­ told me she goes 2there(2LA)2meet poly people in OC(!): -how she discovered both her OC poly grps.
      **At our last mtg all 5 attendees but ldr me were from_just outside_OC(Lakewood+LB)
      ***+I recall @least1 saying s/he goes2a far mtg so nobody s/he'd know might see them there(!).

      May 8

    • DestinyArchitect

      *BECAUSE PPL NO LIKE PRESENT LISTING DESCRIPTION FORMAT?
      **-as That Girl suspected(see link)&I always consider
      **YES PPL NO LIKE IT,&Ill be fixing it http://meetup.com/OC-...­ ,but I NOT THINK IT KEEPING SIGNIFICANT(or any) PPL FROM ATTENDING,per counter-evidence:
      ***In past,our group has done&did more typical looking listings(incl done by not me),&attendance was actually worse.
      **For all events OUTSIDE of OC but still near, notably the Brentwood Pool Party, attendance was still high, indeed record-high 4us by ~2.5x: http://meetup.com/OC-...­ **In all the other groups I active lead (OCAndroid & OC-Python http://1.JotHere.com/...­ ), I use this same style listing and:
      ***mbrs complain much more about it (&yes even tho there tech so sd get it&why-it better!)
      ***yet attendance is still high no problem.
      **-seems ppl overlook formatting.

      May 8

  • DestinyArchitect

    EVENT LISTING DESCRIPTION SOON TO NOTABLY IMPROVE ATHLETICALLY IN ~2 months, & remarkably with 0 loss in any other areas (as completeness, plus easy maintenance, and even sharing event series' history), thanks to some event listing software I'm coding.
    *That Girl rightfully brought up that the present event listings have too much info in them for the first pass so are hard to read, where one just doesn't read them. Ramjet concurred.
    *That Girl also suspected this was keeping people away from meetings.
    *While they of course saw our listings as notably different than their other groups (they are!), they both admitted they hadn't themselves created regularly repeating event listings before so may not know all the aspects involved (such as being complete but also maintaining the repeat copies).

    May 8

    • DestinyArchitect

      This thread's URL is http://meetup.com/OC-...­ .
      *I thanked her4her feedback,&told her I well know&agree!
      **I explained what she&most people don't get what I'm up to(as it's non-traditional): I'm trying to achieve 4 core goals: have regular repeating event listings which:
      (1) have all the info
      (2) share the full history of the event series
      (3) are easy to maintain
      (4) are aesthetic
      **And w/ 0 programming I've achieved all except I presently only weakly achieve #4(by having the history&in order,but still easily highlighting what's immediately key by putting it in bold&big text, but ppl aren't used to here searching for what's key, even if it's easy)
      **But actually no other such listings I've seen achieve #2 well at all; instead they forgo it,+often part of #3 &even #1,to fully get #4.
      **Indeed I dont see anyone well-achieving all 4,&I dont see how2 w/o new automation, so am very busy coding that now,TBA in <2mo.

      May 8

  • DestinyArchitect

    That Girl http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ ATTENDANCE & REVIEW OF THIS EVENT. *Yesterday I RSVPed her YES per http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ -delighted to have you!

    April 3, 2013

    • DestinyArchitect

      This thread's URL is http://meetup.com/OC-...­ .

      May 8

    • DestinyArchitect

      That Girl said she wants mtgs in Long Beach(where she lives). I said I'm delighted she wanted more mtgs,&agreed that neighborhood wd likely be more receptive,but it wasnt our title(“OC”)&indeed 4me was maximally far“OC”(>1hr ea way),so I'd only do if I wasnt the primary leader after about the 2nd or 3rd mtg(some other mbr,as her or another, wd take over the ropes)so then I wdnt hv 2always attend. She seemed disappointed by my offer, but I don't know how she cd be as she knows I'm paid 0 &this is the opposite side of the county for me: I'm in S.OC(Laguna Hills)so already drive up to 30min for this mtg to insure it's more central to OC,but this wd be >1hr drive for me,&isn't even in “OC”. She didn't seem to want to lead this(but note gd mtg hosting never requires expertise in the subject,just enthusiasm for it&gd leadership). She thought maybe others wd lead,as say ideally couple Jaylene&roger,&I­ agreed possible. I said pls just post ur proposal here(a top-level cmt)&I'll advertise it.

      May 8

  • DestinyArchitect

    “Ok, poly seems cool. But how to introduce other people (as one's perspective romances) to polyamory & sell them on it?”. *This was (quite understandably & reasonably) the big Q at the meeting of That Girl and ramjet , as detailed at (soon) at http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ .

    May 8

    • DestinyArchitect

      *One thing very important I brought up is regardless of how you meet the person, if you want to do poly, get & insure they & all ur romances r a-member-in-good-standin­g & ideally-somewhat-active-­in a respectable polyamory group.
      **This notably insures:
      (1)they aren't giving you “lip service” that they're doing poly,
      (2)insures they understand the concept,
      (3)readily exposes anyone who is instead saying they are poly in order to use u&the community to cheat on other romance(s) they hv which *aren't* poly.
      **Indeed,
      ***This is key test to protect 1 fr romances 1 doesn't want (not getting or buying the concept or into poly in order to cheat on their other romance(s))
      **Many poly ppl I've heard say they will only date other people already seriously into a poly group& known&accepted by the community.

      May 8

    • DestinyArchitect

      **As example *here*,I delicately told That Girl that ramjet(who she brought 2this mtg,just discovering him@our last1)hd just come2our grp(just 1 mtg)then weeks later quit us(&wrongfully:see my Greet2him),+@this mtg we find he quit w/o telling her(letting her think she came w/another mbr);so per above,sadly all this puts That Girl&anyone into poly w/ramjet @risk.
      **ramjet didn't deny he quit our grp wrongfully incl w/o telling her,but he also didnt apologize 4any of this(rather he countered he wrongfully quit fr not getting“decent service” fr us(!),somehow forgetting that it's all free2him&all &leaders r getting paid 0),&he seemed doubtful on rejoining our grp(but still wanted2show up2our mtgs)even if That Girl clearly was expecting him 2hv been&remained being a mbr&in good standing(&rightfully­: as 2see her romances answer our tough Q MGCRel): all this wd more suggest ramjet cd hv something 2hide(as another romance). -I MOST hope not,but every mo,like this, I catch guys trying2abuse us.

      May 8

  • DestinyArchitect

    Event Host Destiny of Laguna Hills http://www.meetup.com/OC-Polyam...­ .ATTENDANCE & REVIEW OF THIS EVENT -everything about that goes here in this thread. *I RSVPed YES ~2mo ago, when creating this event: never missed one in nearing 1year!
    *My ETA ~7:15pm or sooner (bringing all the video equipment).
    *PEOPLE ARRIVING, don't wait for me: please ask venue manager Jeromy for our table and set up ur laptops & get online & order food & drinks & make urself comfotable!

    May 7

    • DestinyArchitect

      unbelievable traffic on El Toro Boulevard. There may have been an accident. So my ETA 7:30pm. see my prior comment for what to do in the meantime.

      May 7

    • DestinyArchitect

      Was an accident, so took me ~35min just to drive ~1mi to the freeway entrance. But arrived at ~7:35pm and some other attendees here now and hopefully more arriving.

      May 7

  • DestinyArchitect

    KEY STUFF TO BRING FOR THIS MTG THIS EVE 7pm-10pm. Quoting from our agenda http://1.JotHere.com/967#M3BB40­ as this cannot be said enough, quote:
    M3BB40: Key stuff to bring: MJGNGL:Bring your devices for accessing[ & managing] Meetup[,] & portable Internet if you have it. M6VJ4I:DEFINITELY BRING YOUR LAPTOP –VERY IMPORTANT, including for[ fixing & completing the Qs on your group profile, including some answers required for membership,] posting questions & announcements, RSVPing for & suggesting[ & planning] future events & topics, and web research.

    May 7

  • A former member
    A former member

    Unfortunately we can't make tonight's meeting. We are unable to find a sitter.

    May 7

  • DestinyArchitect

    Jaylene http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ ATTENDANCE & REVIEW OF THIS EVENT. *Yesterday I RSVPed her YES+1 guest(roger) per http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­
    *Now I made roger his own RSVP RSVP per http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ .

    April 3, 2013

    • DestinyArchitect

      *Kindly foremost put ur reply (above) HERE!
      **As this thread is for documenting&sharing ur attendance&where I&other organizers&mbrs can see&share it&often help (including: Anyone knows of a babysitter?) **-&as I just said to place here: U r important,so I SMSed u about this; but again it was just reminder/pointer to the discussion in case u weren't there reading&updating with ur status&news(&app­arently I guessed right as do hv relevant news);so per that,I just said(&cannot say enough),“any updates&changes u hv,pls explain&post there[HERE]” -so kindly do that:
      **WHEREVER POSSIBLE, PROPERLY POST (instead of other communication forms) per http://1.JotHere.com/...­ (pls see), an outstanding&key rule of us&other community grps, indeed fundamental to Meetup's success), else organizers hv to manually repost what u say/send em(what I've done 4u here).

      May 7

    • DestinyArchitect

      *I'D BE BUMMED if u cdn't join us! For we quite enjoyed u the 2 of u last time &as u know we're in startup-mode & really small, so really need u,esp u being a couple. And also we're doing the topic u requested last time&indeed 1 clearly relevant for u: on Parenting http://meetup.com/OC-...­
      **ANYONE RECOMMEND ANY SITTERS NEAR LAKEWOOD zip 90712 (where Jayleen & robert are)? **Here are 69 user-reviewed in-home-child-care providers in ur city http://angieslist.com...­ **Here's Google's top-rating “find babysitter” https://google.com/sea...­ **Or at worst, how about just 1 of u 2 coming?
      **Pls Reply-post here with what u find & ur attendance status. :-)

      May 7

  • Jennifer B

    My hubby and I will be there. Interested in learning more.

    May 6

    • DestinyArchitect

      *This thread:
      **is for all on topic: Jennifer B http://meetup.com/OC-...­ & her guests (hubby Dan) ATTENDANCE&REVIEW OF THIS EVENT.
      **has URL: http://meetup.com/OC-...­
      *Yesterday I approved Jennifer to our our hoping she might join us here , as I mentioned http://meetup.com/OC-...­ ...

      May 7

    • DestinyArchitect

      *&indeed she has!, RSVPing YES w/hubby "Mon, May 6, 2013 at 9:10 PM".
      *Delighted 2hv u&he! -We esp enjoy romantic groups joining us! As true4all, pls:
      **BRING UR DEVICE (IDEALLY LAPTOP) FOR MANAGING MEETUP (as everyone does), 1 PER PERSON, incl so we can guide u (&every attendee) on needed profile fixes(per my Greet2u)-Meetup only allows u2fix.
      **come on time 4our intro movie esp4 1st timers http://meetup.com/OC-...­ .

      May 7

  • Jennifer B

    We were hoping to make this our first meeting but I have an awful migraine today. See you next time.

    May 7

  • DestinyArchitect

    OVERALL HAPPENING.
    *1 day before the event
    ***We now have 6 RSVP YESs:
    ***4 from our last meeting (Jaylene, roger, That Girl, & me)
    ***2 people I (the main organizer) have never met before (Mukunda & Rudy)
    **and we may get some more (just admitted new member Jennifer B.)
    *So it SHOULD BE FUN!
    *Everyone,if u want great polyamory meetings, think of YOURSELVES as the ones making them happen; don't depend on just on me (I get tied up with other things, currently JavaScript coding). Instead, BE PROACTIVE as:
    **Post event comments on the meeting listings, with the 1st line being the subject, of the topics you want to gather people to talk about.
    **Suggest related events by the "SCHEDULE A NEW MEETUP" on our Home page.
    **Read http://1.JotHere.com/MHMore­ for more on what to you can do & get excited about, since here we make everyone possible a leader, so *you* make this the kind of group you want!

    May 6

  • DestinyArchitect

    POLYAMOROUS HANDLING-OF & PARENTING KIDS
    *As proposed by Jaylene&roger at our prior mtg http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ and yes a quite good&important topic.
    **That says "Ok,Jaylene,then pls now simply make an event cmt [here] then I'll update the event title to include that topic so we can start advertising " but that wasn't done (till now) so this didn't get advertised; nonetheless, *We'll talk about this at this meeting if there's interest, which there seems to be.
    *If continued interest show, we'll advertise this to talk about it even more at our next mtg.

    May 6

  • A former member
    A former member

    Why does this event show up twice on my list of upcoming events? The last event that got rescheduled showed up three times.

    April 26

    • DestinyArchitect

      *As Meetup incorrectly hides, this thread was created by ramjet http://meetup.com/mem...­ .
      *This thread has URL http://meetup.com/OC-...­
      *I just checked and found no duplicate entry for this event and never recall a duplicate entry. So it appears there was no problem other than than the poster troubling us again from not reading the event listing to level which most people do. But seemingly no matter, as shortly after he also subsequently unexpectedly quit all of us, and, against our rules, w/o any warning nor explanation.

      May 6

  • DestinyArchitect

    ramjet http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ ATTENDANCE & REVIEW OF THIS EVENT.
    *Yesterday I RSVPed you YES per http://meetup.com/OC-Polyamory/...­ -delighted to have you!

    April 3, 2013

3 went

  • DestinyArc­hitect
    of Laguna Hills;2012.04.14-,47+RSVPs,28+attend; +seeking romance
    Event Host
  • That Girl +1
    of Long Beach(32min W); 2013.03.19-, 2+attends;hung w/ramjet

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