We are learning & practicing  and  sharing our experience  in a way that is building a community of trust. We have been meeting weekly since November 2011. We hope that our commitment to both engagement, companionship, learning and community results in needs being met in a way that includes everyone who comes to practice NVC with us.

Two words  brought forward, discussed and experienced at our December 20, 2011 meeting:

1. Geborgenheit = a sweet sense of home/belonging,the kind of existential belonging that says,"Yes, I belong here in the Universe."

2. Mudita (Pāli and Sanskrit: मुदित) in Buddhism is joy. It is especially sympathetic or vicarious joy, the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people's well-being.

We chose to name this group the Mudita Oakland Nonviolent Communication Practice Group.

Benefits to participants:

• Increasing understanding about the cause of anger (Hint: It's never the other person.)
• Changing the way that you speak so that you are more likely to be heard
• Changing the way you listen so that others are more likely to be heard
• Increasing harmony, cooperation, joy and ease in all your relationships (Including the way that you treat yourself)

Every moment we

1. Unconsciously react compelled by our programming....OR

2. Consciously act impelled by our needs/values (what's important to you).

A  purpose of NVC is to create a quality of connection that inspires natural giving. We begin within ourselves, identifying and exploring what lives within us - our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, needs, and what we can imagine could create a more wonderful life for us and those with whom we are in contact.

Two questions may be asked to support this experience of living life wonderfully:

1-What is alive in us and others?

2-What might make life more wonderful for us and others?

Some Information about Mair Alight, who facilitates this practice group:

Mair's intention is to challenge each person (including self) to their learning edge while offering nurturing support. Invitation to choose to practice the three modes of NVC during the practice time: self-connection, self-expression and empathic presence.

Current Format and Agreements as I understand them:

We are learning & practicing  and  sharing our experience  in a way that is building a community of trust, acceptance, acknowledgment and respect for each person's needs.

We arrive between 6:15 and 6:30.

Promptly at 6:30 we begin a two minute silence to check in with what is going on for us. If you arrive after 6:30, please enter quietly and wait in the dining room until the two minutes is completed so that your waiting supports those who are sitting in silence.

We then proceed with each person using up to 2 minutes to share something to let us know how they are in the moment and if they would like focused attention during our time together.

Then we divide the time among us and someone offers to go first. During this time, the person asks for empathy, strategies, role play or discussion; whatever they imagine could be most helpful for them. Mair and others might make suggestions if the person wants that support. Mair tracks the time.

When the focused attention time agreed upon is over, there is a five minute round with those not sharing  what it was like for them. This is not intended as "feedback for the person sharing". This is intended so that the person sharing can receive how the others have been touched or moved by what was shared - what's "alive" in them.

Note: If you enter the group after the silence, you are welcome to participate fully in the circle, however the time we spend focusing on each person will already have been established for the evening. When we complete our focused attention on one person, you will be invited to check in with what is going on for you, with a 2 minute check-in. It might be that there will not be 15-20 minutes for you to receive focused attention during the evening, since the time will already have been divided among those who requested it during the initial round after the silence. We made this agreement to support ease and cooperation among us, At any time in any meeting anyone could ask for something different through sharing the needs that would be met in request for change, while also caring for the needs of all those already present. Our intention is to hold all needs tightly and all strategies lightly. You are welcome to connect with Mair before coming to the group with any questions or concerns you have about joining us. Welcome! :-)

Benefits to participants:

• Increasing understanding about the cause of anger (Hint: It's NEVER the other person or the situation-it's the thoughts and the meaning that you assign to it. .)
• Changing the way you speak so that you are more likely to be heard
• Changing the way you listen so that others are more likely to be heard
• Learn & Practice the three modes of communication (self-connection, self-expression & receiving others)
• Practice choosing how you respond instead of responding in your habitual ways
• Increasing harmony, cooperation, joy and ease in all your relationships (Including the way that you treat yourself)

Some info about the organizer: Mair offers NVC in a unique way, focused on practical applications and having fun in sharing; using games, role plays, real plays, dyads, fishbowls, songs, stories, poetry, exercises. Mair's intention is to challenge each person (including self) to their learning edge while offering nurturing support.

Mair has co-written a children's NVC Coloring Book "Compassionate Underwear Bear", and developed a game she has titled "Jackal Cafe & Another Way", inspired by the work of  Judy Morin, John Cunningham, Gina Lawrie and Bridget Belgrave.

Mair has studied NVC-based Mediation with John Kinyon and Ike Lasiter, and developed her own style she calls "No-Fault Mediation". Foundational in that style are two operating principles: 1. The slower we go, the farther we get....faster. 2. The less we hear, the more we understand.

Mair is a Certified International Trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication, BayNVC Ambassador and Collaborative Trainer. Mair has participated in the Bay NVC Leadership Program 2001-2002, is a co-founder of the Safer Communities Project (2002-weekly offerings of NVC in prisons and jails), and has received training directly since 2000 from Marshall Rosenberg, developer of Nonviolent Communication. Mair's CNVC Certification Assessor was Robert Gonsalez in 2005.

Some words of support from Marshall Rosenberg, Ike Lasater, and Miki Kashtan:

" I have known Mair since 2002, when she attended the BayNVC Leadership Program. I appreciate, in particular, her deep passion for meaning, her dedication to authenticity and full human connection, and her humor and courage in responding to challenges. I trust her understanding of NVC and her continued immersion in learning and clarifying concepts and processes. I am impressed by what I see as her ability to see and reach human beings across a wide range of demographics and experiences and offer meaningful healing and learning to others." - Miki Kashtan, Lead Trainer, Strategic Vision, Bay Area Nonviolent Communication (PayNVC) www.BayNVC.org

"I’ve known Mair for a decade as a friend, colleague and as a participant in some of my NVC Mediation workshops. I very much enjoy how she shows up in the world with humor, care and clarity. I like the way Mair relates to herself, and to me and others. I without reservation recommend that you work with her at every opportunity." – Ike Lasater, www.NVCMediation.com

"Mair Alight is one of sixty individuals from twenty-five countries selected by the Center for Nonviolent Communication to attend a Special Session on Social Change in July 2005 in Switzerland. The purpose of the session was to further the vision we have to create a world where all people are getting their needs met and resolving their conflicts peacefully.

Mair Alight is committed to the vision of creating and participating in building worldwide networks of life-serving systems including, but not limited to education, economics, justice, healthcare, peacekeeeping.

It is my hope that you will support her in her efforts towards implementing social change."

Warmly, Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D, Founder and Director of Educational Services, The Center of Nonviolent Communication (www.cnvc.org)