On Our Own – for adults 25-50 whose parents have passed awayhttp://www.meetup.com/On-Our-Own-for-adults-25-49-who-have-lost-both-parents/http://photos4.meetupstatic.com/photos/event/7/0/e/4/global_20488900.jpeg20090425
This is a social group for people whose parents have passed away (BOTH of them). Because of some situations that have come up, I need to ask these questions so you can be a member of the group: Did both your parents pass away?
Are you within the stated age range?
Please acknowledge that you have 1) read the group description (thoroughly) and 2) understand who this group is (and is not) for, and 3) that you are appropriate for membership.
My name is Kurt. Both my parents passed away while I was only in my thirties. Both were very heavy smokers and died in their early 60s of smoking related cancers.
This member chose not to make their Meetup membership information public.
This member chose not to make their interests public.
A Social Community for people ages 25-50 (or early 50s) whose parents (BOTH) have passed away.
PLEASE READ THIS FULLY BEFORE JOINING!
SOME PEOPLE HAVE WANTED TO JOIN WHO ARE ESTRANGED FROM THEIR PARENTS OR WHOSE PARENTS ARE ILL. I CAN HELP YOU FIND OTHER GROUPS FOR THOSE ISSUES BUT THIS ONE IS JUST FOR PEOPLE WHOSE PARENTS ARE NO LONGER LIVING. BOTH PARENTS, not just one parent.
This group is restricted to people whose parents have passed away (both of them). Some people have wanted to join whose parents are alive, or who have had major losses of other people (partners, etc). I also understand there are a number of situations in which it can feel like one has no parents, even if they are alive or elsewhere. But this group isonlyfor people whose parents have actually passed away. (I know I am repeating myself, but unfortunately I need to, because of questions that have come up on a regular basis). I feel for people in these other situations, but the idea to found this group was to have a community of people who share this specific background. I want to stay true to this, as there are no other groups out there like this (as far as I have found).
If you are dealing with other circumstances, I would encourage you to do an online search in Meetup (there are a number of them) and also in the community where you live. There are a lot of great resources out there. I may know of some of them if you want to ask me.
ALSO IMPORTANT: This is NOT a therapy or grief group, or a bereavement support group. It will not have a professional facilitator and it will not have a bereavement group format. IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SPEND MUCH OF YOUR TIME RIGHT NOW EXPRESSING YOUR GRIEF, IT IS BEST TO FIND A PROFESSIONAL BEREAVEMENT GROUP OR A COUNSELOR INSTEAD OF THIS MEETUP.
If your loss is very recent, or you do not have an outside source of support (professionally or personally), or it is difficult for you to talk about your loss without starting to cry, or you find yourself talking about your grief all the time and really don't want to talk about anything else, please wait to join this group.
I reserve the right to restrict this group to people who fit the demographic and who are "emotionally ready" or appropriate, if necessary. Thanks for respecting that.
We are NOT a bereavement support group. This is a low-key SOCIAL group for people dealing with similar circumstances, with support, friendship, and positive, good company at its core. Our losses may not come up. We've had meetings where they haven't been discussed at all, and at other meetings if they have, it's been one of many topics. You need to be okay with that (and demonstrate that in interactions) and not be looking at this as a support group. There is no agenda; we just get together and hang out, the way many other Meetups are.
Description of group:
Many people who have had major losses feel that only those who have had similar situations “get it” and can be there for each other in a way that others cannot.
The losses can be harder when a lot of peers still have one or both of their parents, as is often the case in our age group. And we face different issues from people who lose their parents at a later stage in life.
I thought of starting this group as a way to create a community of people who are there for each other – for support, to vent, to help each other out in concrete and emotional ways, BUT ALSO and MOSTLY to just hang out and do things together.
This is not a morose group – yes, we may share our grieving process and get strength from each other when we need it, but it is PRIMARILY be a social group where we will just hang out, get to know each other, do things, and have a good time. So far everyone has really clicked and formed easy friendships. There is a sense of support and trust if the conversation gets more personal, but mostly we talk about everything under the sun and spend a lot of time laughing. I mention that because my guess is some people are hesitating to join because they think it might be a "heavy" and depressing time. That's not how it's been. We are very upbeat, fun, and down-to-earth. Often we don't discuss our losses at all. But there is a feeling of safety in the group because we all share that.
At the same time, please respect the sensitive nature of losing one's parents and different people's possible reactions (which are often internal) - so please, no jokes about bereavement or loss.
We've been meeting approximately once a month. We've had many great dinners together, and we have also heard outdoor music, gone to a comedy club, and met for coffee. I'm always open to suggestions for future places to meet or things to do together.
Don't be shy about coming - I know sometimes people hesitate to come for their first meeting because they think it may be a downer - it won't be! Everyone in the group is super-cool and nice and we always have a great time.
I think the friendships that can come out of something like this are one of the best things we can do for ourselves and each other. So far that has really been the case too!
I look forward to getting to know new members and spending time together. Please email me with a little about yourself.