Our legend precedes us, the way lighting precedes thunder. We live our lives vicariously through ourselves. Sharks have a week dedicated to us. We bowl... overhand. Both sides of our pillow are cool. We are the life of parties we have never attended. Our charm is so contagious, vaccines were created for it. Every time we go for a swim, dolphins appear. We're so cool we make ice jealous. We once postponed a total eclipse of the sun, because it interfered with our polo match. On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after us. If a monument were built in our honor, Mt. Rushmore would close, due to poor attendance. The sun comes up later on the 6th to account for our Cinco de Mayo parties. We are...... the most interesting meetup in the world.