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Polyamory Ireland Discussion/Support Group Message Board Lifestyle › Fear of intimacy breeding superficial relationships?

Fear of intimacy breeding superficial relationships?

Randy R.
Group Organizer
Dublin, IE
Post #: 467
"This thought occurred to me this evening when I was discussing poly/open styles with someone who had an issue with her partner developing "emotions" for someone else. 'If you only allow yourself or your partner to explore purely physical relationships and you shy away from anything deeper than that, then you're going to find yourself cultivating shallow relationships. Is that really what you want in your life?.'" -- Rob Ruhland
Patrick L.
Newry, GB
Post #: 27
Two points occur to me on reading the comments above, as well as an interest in the word "intimacy".

For me the concept of love and its emotional basis does not make it easy that a person might "allow yourself or your partner to explore purely physical relationships. . ." Such an intellectual decision without emotional involvement suggests that more than love is at play.

That some people can be quite rational and unemotional in deciding about lifestyles or marriages is beyond doubt. Examples of alliances for inheritance, business purposes and even political success are readily available.
Romantic love, that of family love and including unconditional love must be based on emotions and some committment whether or not there are sexual or physical expressions of that love.
That's the first point. While the phrase "you shy away from anything deeper" prompts the second.

Not all may agree that love remains inside a person and is express rather than shared, but the idea of saying away from a deeper expression of love seems to show that such people ae devoid of love for themselves.

Expressing my love is a mixture of showing my emotions by some form of physical action - a smile, a kiss, hug or sexual interaction.
That for me is intimacy - speaking my thoughts to another as I think them and showing my emotions to another as I feel them.
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