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Grokking: creating Intimacy with Questions

If you are not absolutely fascinated by the person in front of you,
then you're not paying attention.
- Michael McDonald

on Facebook:

Saturday, April 27
1:00 - 5:30pm
doors at 12:30pm, starting at 1:00pm

Church of Soul
[masked]th St, Oakland
(next to West Oakland BART station)

$45 each, or $40 each for groups of 2 or more

To 'dig', the word, the very word means not merely to appreciate but to penetrate, to go to the heart of the matter and to penetrate the moment.
- Alan Watts

Have you ever been on a date that felt like a job interview? Have you ever been drawn to someone, but somehow when you talk to them you fail to connect? Have you ever been bored in a crowd?

Have you ever had a conversation that lasted for hours, effortlessly? Have you ever asked someone a question that instantly had them blossom before your eyes? Have you ever had a brief conversation with a stranger where they feel so seen that all they can say in response is "Who are you?"


This workshop picks up where most Community Nights leave off: the Questions exercise, which is often everyone's favorite exercise and the culmination of the evening. And now we are delving deeper, using Relational Alchemy to turn the seemingly mundane world of asking and answering questions into an opportunity to create more intimacy.

By the end of this workshop I intend for you to have everything you need to become a conversational ninja, capable of creating connection and intimacy with anyone, anytime, by leveraging two of my teaching superpowers:

1. Distinctions
Simple and clear memes, so that you still remember the important bits a year later.

2. Experience
Less theory, more practice; ala Community Nights.

Some teasers:

  • What is the difference between an authentic question, an intimate question, and a relational question?
  • What are some of the 'anti-patterns' in conversations which block intimacy? (Yes, I even hear people committing these relational sins in Community Nights.)
  • What skills can you leverage as the answerer of questions to create more intimacy?
  • How can judgements be used to create intimacy instead of block intimacy?

In case you haven't heard it before, the term 'grokking' comes from the novel Stranger in a Strange Land:

To understand profoundly through intuition or empathy.

Grok means to understand so thoroughly that the observer 
becomes a part of the observed—to merge, blend, intermarry, 
lose identity in group experience.


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  • A former member
    A former member

    Physically unwell :(

    April 27, 2013

  • Mary

    Love this topic! Wish I could make it.

    April 24, 2013

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