MEN! Celebrating Maleness, Examining the Difficulties


We'll be discussing aspects of the nature of being male in our society -- as well as comparisons with other cultures and other times; looking at social expectations and how they affect our lives, our relationships and our presentations of ourselves as gay men; considering the aggressiveness often associated with maleness and such other aspects as desires for sexual variety.

Some Suggested Small Group Discussion Questions:

**Are gay males really different than straight males in anything besides with whom they sleep?

What about straight “metrosexuals”

What about gay “queens” and the subcultures of gaydom, such as leather, transgender, BDSM, etc.  How does the straight population perceive gay men, because of the media or personal experiences?

Does “gaydar”really exist? …..  can a gay be identified as he walks by on the street?

Do gay men tend to want to live where other gay men are found, such as the big cities?  If so…why?


How do you define it …..  how do you recognize it?  Why is it considered a positive trait for any man?

Do gay men define it differently than the general population?

Can the behavior and/or attire of some gay men be considered feminine?

Should one think that aggressiveness is a masculine trait?  Is it a valuable behavior?

Why do some gay men want a “real man” and shun “femmes”?

How do the gay concepts of “top” and “bottom” fit?

*What is the public view of gay men?

Do they seem to populate some of the avocations (interior design, fashion, etc.)

Do some gay men adjust their attire/behavior depending upon the place/situation hat they are in…..why do they do that and which of their behaviors is “really them”?

What is the population’s expectation from gay men?  Do we have a special role in society?

Why do people in the US notice when men hold hands or each other waists in public, when that’s a common behavior in many other cultures amongst men (straight/gay)?


Leader for this Salon:  Dr. Joel Barrish

Initial Icebreaker Leader: Carlos Mangas

Join or login to comment.

  • Devon R.

    So sorry I missed all of you last night!!
    Computer crashed and could get to my calendar. : (
    Remember when we were not attached to the outlet, we would had written, hand written, these important things down?

    January 24, 2013

  • Oscar V.

    It was a great meeting, however nothing conclusive was done.

    January 23, 2013

    • Oscar V.

      I guess I had different expectations, but it was very nice to meet new people like you.

      January 24, 2013

  • Steven

    Great discussion, but looking forward to a different location with less noise and distraction while we are trying to talk.

    1 · January 24, 2013

  • David

    Enjoyable discussion. An opportunity to hear other's thoughts from different cultural, age, geographic, gay vs bi perspectives...

    1 · January 24, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I enjoyed it very much!

    January 24, 2013

  • Oscar V.

    So, I had different expectations. Good meeting though.

    January 24, 2013

  • Joel

    Very thoughtful discussion.

    January 23, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I'd like to hear a discussion on the important of working and maleness.

    January 6, 2013

    • Patrick

      Sounds like a good issue to raise.

      January 7, 2013

  • benny

    My first time too....

    January 7, 2013

    • Patrick

      We look forward to seeing you there!

      January 7, 2013

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