Don't miss your chance to get support, reach out now. The beginning of this group is in four days and I am looking forward to beginning this healing process with many of you. If you're interested in joining, it is not too late as there is still space available and time to schedule your initial intake session. Please reach out to me here or send me an email at [masked] to schedule your intake session. I truly am here to help and know that the participants I've met with so far will be instrumental in the support and healing process of their co-members.
Dear meetup community, thank you so much for your inquiries about this group I wanted to let you know we have a few spots open in both the San Francisco and Berkeley group so if you're needing support please contact me. Most people who are in this group tell me that their friends and family can no longer hear them talk about their painful separations. I believe we can get through hard times with the support of other people. But sometimes those people can't be the ones who are in our daily lives. Even though our friends and family mean well, sometimes they can't be neutral enough to help us heal. So remember, support helps and you can find that support here.
Its getting closer to the start of the group.
I hear from a lot of group members that they have exhausted the support system in their life and they just don't feel comfortable talking about the pain that they continue to be in ending a long term relationship. If that feels like a predicament that you're in, the group is a truly neutral place to get support, to practice asking for what you need, and for identifying what kinds of relationships you want to start creating in the new year. Sometimes we have very similar habits in our long term relationships as we do with our colleagues, friends and family.
Visit my website for more information. http://solutionstherapyandmediation.org/susanregan.html
I've been thinking a lot about what helps people going through divorce and separation and here are some of the suggestions I came up with... Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in joining the group that's starting at the end of January. I am meeting with people who are interested in becoming members now.
What helps people going through separation:
• a neutral place to talk about their feelings - my definition of neutrality is important so that you feel like the people that are listening are not people that are in your life or have an active opinion about what you should do
• Identifying your feelings as you're having them - during this transition, you will be experiencing the stages of grief, denial, sadness/depression, anger, bargaining and acceptance. Sometimes you cycle through all of these feelings in a minute, sometimes you get stuck in one or more of them. Which feelings do you notice experiencing the most?
• Get support - you may want to think about a few confidants you can call at the drop of a hat, any time, any day.
• Take time to learn about and analyze your part that ended the relationship. We all have negative cycles, some of them we're aware of and some of them we project onto the people closest to us. I know if your partner had an affair, its hard to distinguish which part of that behavior had to do with you.
• We all have buttons that get pushed, do you know what pushes your buttons and have you learned how to talk about that to the people you're in relationships with?
• Its also important to ask yourself whats making you so upset when you are feeling badly. Is it a flashback? A memory? Is it a regret? Is it fear of moving on? Is it loneliness?
• Get clear about what you want in you future - if you can't imagine your future, than you can't manifest the one you want.
THERE IS A CYCLE TO SEPARATION:
In the years that I've been offering support groups for separation and divorce I've noticed a cycle that people join this group often after the holiday season.
If you found yourself pushing through the holidays to either stay with your partner or you've realized that your relationship has been stressful it may be time for you to get some support around changing things in your life in 2014.
The groups I run have an emphasis on people really working on their own negative cycle which perpetuated in the relationship which they are trying to get out of or have already ended.
So whether you've stayed too long, have another love interest, wished your relationship wasn't over and find yourself in a lot of pain or want to create a healthier relationship for yourself in the future, this group can support your process and growth.
I am a seasoned marriage and family therapist specializing in divorce and separation as well as helping people create the life and relationships they want.
Feel free to contact me if you want more information about the support groups I am offering in Berkeley and San Francisco at the end of January.
Susan Regan, MFT
You need a support group to recover from separation or divorce.
It can take 2-3 years or more to recover from divorce. You need to create a new identity, discovering who you are as a single person, finding a sense of belonging in your community, finding or consolidating social networks, and adjusting to single parenthood. Disorientation can last a long time, and the process of finding your footing is not linear. There are days when you feel grounded and secure. Then a trigger can lead to a fresh wave of grief, anger and confusion. If you have kids, you have to re-learn how to deal with your ex, shifting communication styles, becoming more formal and distant. It may be hard to create new boundaries with your ex. The fighting may continue, or one of you may need more distance while the other does not. While the emotional upheaval is at it's worst, you may be dealing with lawyers and court appearances. This just adds to feelings of frustration, fear and vulnerability. Having group support makes a huge difference.
I offer a weekly Separation/Divorce Support Group in Berkeley and San Francisco. The groups supports people going through this difficult time.
Our group discussions focus on the following:
Coping with a relocation
Understanding your eratic emotions
Helping your children
Dealing with loss and grief
Managing changing relationships
Facing financial challenges
Achieving the optimal co-parenting arrangement
Negotiating a new relationship with your ex
Moving on to new relationships
Dealing with the unknowns of the court system
Managing fears about the future
Trying to find completion
Moving toward your future
Being present to it all
Facilitated discussion and sharing of experience within the group will help you gain insight, acceptance and self-awareness.
Please email at [masked] or visit my website for more details. http://solutionstherapyandmediation.org/divorce2.html