You need a support group to recover from separation or divorce.
It can take 2-3 years or more to recover from divorce. You need to create a new identity, discovering who you are as a single person, finding a sense of belonging in your community, finding or consolidating social networks, and adjusting to single parenthood. Disorientation can last a long time, and the process of finding your footing is not linear. There are days when you feel grounded and secure. Then a trigger can lead to a fresh wave of grief, anger and confusion. If you have kids, you have to re-learn how to deal with your ex, shifting communication styles, becoming more formal and distant. It may be hard to create new boundaries with your ex. The fighting may continue, or one of you may need more distance while the other does not. While the emotional upheaval is at it's worst, you may be dealing with lawyers and court appearances. This just adds to feelings of frustration, fear and vulnerability. Having group support makes a huge difference. I offer a weekly Separation/Divorce Support Group in Berkeley and San Francisco. The groups supports people going through this difficult time.