Can we talk, listen and learn?

Martini Monday set the stage for some very honest and open talk about relationships, dating and the single life. One of our members has a forum he would like to present. A meeting location is in the works, of course, this will depend upon how many we have RSVP. So, let's get together and speak about our trials, tribulations, frustrations, questions and insights about being single in Springfield.

Meetup doors open @5:30pm, discussion begins promptly at 6pm. Feel free to bring a friend or two if you'd like to provide a variety of viewpoints to the event. I believe drink and menu specials are in the works for our group.

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  • Ed Pruitt

    QoD...How does religion figure into the selection of your mate?

    April 21, 2013

    • Sunshine

      Anytime Steve!!! Feel free to respond later lol

      May 1, 2013

    • Carla Rapps

      Could be Steve....LOL

      May 1, 2013

  • Steve

    It sounds like we're all craving more of this. I'd host at my house if people are willing to drive to Decatur. Or, gee, I wonder where there's a house in Springfield? Someplace that most of us are familiar with? Gee, I wonder if such a place exists??? Just kidding E.L., you've done more than enough for us already!

    April 23, 2013

    • Steve

      #&/$* fat fingers again! I'm serious about hosting in Decatur. Who is game for it?

      April 23, 2013

    • Ebone

      Oh Steve! You make me smile! I was actually contemplating hosting something...it does appear we would like to speak our minds. Let's see what magic I can make happen.

      April 24, 2013

  • Anya

    I'm so sorry I missed it, I had a work emergency. I'd be up for hosting at my place in Springfield sometime in late May or early June once some of the remodeling dust clears. I'd be up for a car pool to Decatur as well.

    April 23, 2013

  • Charnell Kay Freeman

    I am so sorry that I went to this event tonight. I had a very bad abusive marriage for 17 years and when we were told tonight to SUBMIT it really hit a nerve. I tried for a LONG time and thought if I did something differently then he wouldn’t be mean to me. I have done enough submitting in my life. My husband had to be in control of everything. He would not let me talk to my parents or anybody else. He would not let me work. He would not let me have friends. It was all HIS MONEY. I lived in Sojourn Shelter for awhile to be safe. I left when he started hitting my daughter. Divorce is still not taboo in some cultures and my parents disowned me when I got divorced. My mom said that she would rather have had my x-husband kill me. Because since I got divorced I am going to hell. I have BEEN IN HELL. I lived there for way too long. So, that really hit a nerve with me tonight. I do not need to go back to that situation and be submissive and under a man’s control anymore.

    1 · April 22, 2013

    • Steve

      Yes, I agree 100%. I had to leave early to get back to Decatur. I was worried that I was going to miss the "meat" of the discussion. Seems like I didn't miss anything.

      1 · April 23, 2013

    • Steve

      Sorry, fat thumbs! I hit SEND too quickly. Ed, I don't mean any offense to you. As I said earlier, I appreciate the effort you made. But it seems that I'm not alone in the thought that the event just wasn't like what we expected. Not that I have any great insight into how to make it better.

      1 · April 23, 2013

  • Dawn

    I had a very nice time and enjoyed meeting everyone. It was an interesting subject and to hear the different views on expectations. We are all raised differently so we'll never agree on everything but what was intresting was our ability to discuss those differences so we all get a different point of view. Although I was expecting something a little more laid back and co-mingling, I had a good time. Wish I could have stayed. Since there are so many different personalities and experiences, It was easy to not take anything personally but maybe do some self reflection. If any of you are ever interested in doing something outside of these meetings since they are so few and far between, just send me a message. I will try to respond as soon as I can LOL! Have a great day!

    1 · April 23, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    The event was a success. It was well attended with a great blend of people, perspectives and conversations. In preparation of making this event better in the future, please tell me what topics or issues you would like to address and your desired "take away" from the event.

    April 23, 2013

    • Steve

      I agree with Carla too. Ed, I appreciate the effort you made to put this together. Apparently doing your day-job for us, for free. But I didn't expect to literally be lectured with a list of "men do this" & "women do that" powerpoint slides. I expected maybe some word games or something to keep the conversation flowing, but centered around the theme that we are all there to share our trials and tribulations. Actually, I seem to remember that was part of the event description. I LOVED THE VENUE! GAME NIGHT AT THE PUB!!!! :-)

      5 · April 23, 2013

    • Charnell Kay Freeman

      I agree Steve, I didn't know it was going to be a lecture. I thought it was going to be more of an open forum. Although, I did have a good time with the people there.

      1 · April 23, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    The suggestions are great! I would love to participate in the type of group format suggested by Carla. Who will host this meetup event?

    April 23, 2013

  • Charnell Kay Freeman

    I am not looking for someone to support me, protect me and that I have to submit to. Rather, I am looking for someone that will be my companion, by friend, and my lover. My EQUAL.

    3 · April 23, 2013

  • Kathy

    Last night was my first time out and I enjoyed meeting new people. Even though I am currently unemployed I still hope to make it to some future events.

    April 23, 2013

  • Sunshine

    Fun time with the people at my table but I don't think I really learned anything from this event or walked away with a new understanding of anything but it was nice to get out and have dinner with friends at the "bad table"!!!

    2 · April 22, 2013

    • Carla Rapps

      I enjoyed the bad table too!! Im not sure I walked away with a lot of new information. I had hoped there would bd more of the "what she said ....what he heard " giving me some insight into the different expectations between men and women. I enjoyed it and it did serve to confirm my thoughts that how this subject is approached understoond and goals differ between our age and experiences.

      3 · April 22, 2013

    • Jamila

      I enjoyed to conversation at our table as well and I agree I did not get much out of this meetup for the purposes intended. I just enjoyed myself as I usually do at the meetups.

      2 · April 23, 2013

  • Clayton T. S.

    I had a great time and learned a lot. Thanks, all.

    April 22, 2013

    • Clayton T. S.

      To be specific: I especially appreciated hearing other people's points of view. On occasion, we get so caught up in our own worlds of what we want (including myself) that we aren't as often self-reflective as we could be. Tonight has taught me to be more forward with what I want with women and not play any stupid "20-somethings mind-games." It's unfortunate to hear that some participants did not enjoy themselves for reasons of language choice or lack of learning new material. But, for a counter-point to be present in this thread, I enjoyed the people present tonight and the material presented. Through learning more about the importance of others' perspectives, I can safely say that I learned more about myself. Thank you.

      3 · April 22, 2013

  • Sheila

    I enjoyed the evening and the exchange of ideas and theories. It was good to see familiar faces and make new acquaintances. Looking forward to seeing everyone again!

    2 · April 22, 2013

  • Charnell Kay Freeman

    I NEVER would have gone tonight, if I knew that is how it was going to be.

    April 22, 2013

  • Dwight Stewart

    I am so sorry that I can I am so sorry that I can not attend this event. I am sure that there will bnot attend this event. I am sure that there will be a lot of interesting conversation.

    April 22, 2013

  • Mary Kay

    Sorr to say I can't make it tonight.

    April 22, 2013

  • Dawn

    I'm a newbie so don't bite me. LOL.

    April 22, 2013

  • Carla Rapps

    I may be a little late - I probably will not be able to leave here until 5:30. I work on the West side off Koke Mill so it will take a little time to get there too. I should be there before 6 though.

    April 22, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I have too many things going on this evening. I am so sorry to miss this event.

    April 22, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    Hey all! I hope everyone had an amazing weekend and you are ready to have some real grown folk conversation at tomorrow's event. The venue is excitedly ready to receive us with ample space, drink specials & a delicious menu. Doors will open at 5:30 pm and the fun starts at 6 pm. It appears that the QoD's have got your energy levels up. Bring that energy to the event and let's have some fun.

    April 21, 2013

  • Clayton T. S.

    I mean... I could walk to the Vinegar Hill Mall in less than 5 minutes from work. I have no reason not to attend, right?

    April 21, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    QoD...What are you initially attracted to in a person?

    April 20, 2013

    • Poonam

      Good smile and teeth!

      April 20, 2013

    • Clayton T. S.

      Intelligence, natural beauty, ambition, and a positive outlook.

      April 21, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    QoD...Is kissing obsolete?

    April 15, 2013

    • Ebone

      Sriram, I can only SMH at you! LOL

      1 · April 19, 2013

    • Clayton T. S.

      I hope not! I'm fairly certain most people still enjoy and expect it. I didn't even think that some people thought that it was.

      April 21, 2013

  • Denise

    Looking forward to meeting you all tomorrow!

    April 21, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    Flashback Friday QoD...What's the best first date that you have ever been on?

    April 19, 2013

    • Kathy

      We went to the Home Improvement Expo and had some good laughs with this toilet that was on display. Then we were at the food vendor Expo and enjoyed sampling some food and I had my first experience with wine tasting.

      April 19, 2013

    • Ebone

      He cooked for me. We talked for hours. The restaurant had been closed for almost an hour before we realized the employees were patiently waiting for us to notice. It still brings a smile to my face remembering...

      April 19, 2013

  • Shree

    After a brief glance at the attendee list, I'd like to significantly increase the percentage of testosterone in this meet...

    2 · April 2, 2013

    • Shree

      Don't make it harder than it already is, Steve!

      2 · April 9, 2013

    • Shree

      When I posted this comment, I was the only guy in the attendee list (other than the host). On hindsight, this comment is hilariously rude to my fellow males who have signed up. No apologies, man up.

      April 18, 2013

  • Shree

    The Dublin pub? I look forward to interacting with the two people beside me and the three in front*.

    *I understand the logistics can be a pain in the butt.

    April 18, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    QoD...What's the difference between dating and hanging out? Which do you prefer?

    April 16, 2013

    • Carla Rapps

      I agree with sunshine. It just doesn't work in the long term. You are sharing an intimacy level and spending time together. Feelings at some level are bound to develop....even a friendship type of caring ....and then you add that level of intimacy. It is a formula for disaster. Sex changes the dynamics of a relationship of any kind.

      April 17, 2013

    • Shree

      Looks like I missed quite a bit on here! Someone called for backup? Taking the mathematical baton from Steve's hand, IMO dating is a subset of hanging out, with special conditions applied (don't forget to read the fine print!) And for extra credit (as very few have answered the second question), I prefer hanging out. More casual setting, fewer inhibitions and you get to know the person better.

      1 · April 18, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    QOD...When dating someone, what do you expect to gain from the person?

    April 18, 2013

    • Kathy

      A new adventure by meeting someone that might end up being a new friend or potential S.O. The chance to participate in each other's hobbies/interest and finding a new hobby/interest because of that.

      April 18, 2013

    • Sunshine

      A sense of someone with my best interest at heart, an opportunity to learn new things from them, a chance to have someone I can be completely honest with

      2 · April 18, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    QoD...Describe yourself using the letters LOVE.

    April 17, 2013

    • Mary Kay

      Loving
      One of a kind
      Vivacious
      Enthusiastic

      1 · April 17, 2013

    • Ebone

      Laughing Otherworldly Vibrant Ebone

      1 · April 17, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    I've been in situations where hanging out turned into dating and also where dating turned into just hanging out. My preference is to mutually set the terms of what we are doing up front and enjoy the ride from there.

    1 · April 16, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    What's your preference?

    April 16, 2013

  • Ed Pruitt

    Good morning all! We are a week away from this event and I'm very pleased with the response. I will post a question of the day (QoD) for your response leading up to the event. Looking forward to your responses.

    April 15, 2013

  • Jenny Chandler

    This should be interesting!

    April 10, 2013

  • Carla Rapps

    There's another Dublin Pub in Springfield?

    April 8, 2013

    • Ebone

      Yes. We have 3 wally worlds, certainly there's room for two dubs! LOL :)

      April 8, 2013

  • Sheila

    This sounds too good to miss!! Might be a few minutes late- we are on call that day. :-(

    April 4, 2013

  • Steve

    I'll try my best, like my BFF Shree, to represent the male point of view. Somebody bring me a box of Kleenex. :-(

    April 3, 2013

    • Shree

      Just to clarify, by "represent the male point of view", you mean "be a punching bag", right? Cause that's what I meant.

      April 3, 2013

    • Steve

      I'll hit 'em with my purse if they get too hostile! Or, crying seems to work pretty well.

      April 4, 2013

  • Sheila

    Is there a limit on the # of people at this meeting? I don't want to RSVP and take a spot. I hope to make it..but am not sure yet.

    April 2, 2013

    • Ed Pruitt

      There is no limit for this meeting, so come out and invite a friend.

      April 3, 2013

  • Anya

    Sounds good to me, depending on the location and number of people I can possibly even host!

    April 2, 2013

    • Ebone

      Thanks Anya! The location is final, but we may seek assistance from you for a future event. BTW, I still have your serving spoons from game night. :)

      April 2, 2013

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