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Used Gear Sale - Annual APRIL FOOL'S JOKE

  • Apr 1, 2014 · 4:30 PM
  • This location is shown only to members

We did this last year and it was a great success, so I am organizing this year’s used gear sale.  Like last year, it will be at Carriage Lane Park, which is conveniently located within walking distance from my house.  Some of the stuff I plan to sell includes:

1.  Empty Planter’s Peanut Jars – If it is too cold to get out of the tent, and you have to pee, just open this jar and go.  Wide opening makes it suitable for all men’s sizes.

2.  Cougar Repellent – Are you constantly being stalked by cougars whenever you go camping?  Just spray on this repellent and they won’t go within 10 feet of you.  It’s my homemade mixture of javelina scent gland extract and Axe body spray.

3.  Columbian White Powder – I am not exactly sure what this is, I picked it up while hiking in the Columbian Andes.

4.  Russian Camelbak – Only available in Russia and former Soviet Republics, this Camelbak is specially designed to hold one vodka bottle, rather than a water bladder.

5.  Do-It-Yourself Amputation Kit – Designed by Aron Ralston, the hiker who cut off his own arm to escape from an 800 pound boulder.  You never know when this kit will come in “handy.”

6.  Menage a Trois Three-Man Sleeping Bag – I picked this up before my trip to Mont Blanc, in the French Alps.  It’s in great condition, never been slept in.  I’m not saying it hasn’t been used; it’s just never been slept in.

7.  Hemp Rope – Great for climbing to high altitudes, especially in Washington and Colorado.

8.  Stiletto Hiking Boots – Laced up to the knee for that extra support.  It was a gift from the infamous “Hiker Barbie” who was a member of the club ten years ago.  The stiletto heel acts as a crampon for icy trails.

Please RSVP if you want to attend.  It is also helpful to list what you plan to sell, so people know in advance if there is anything they might want.

Hope to see you there!

Join or login to comment.

  • Paula

    Anybody got a Cheetah?

    1 · March 26, 2014

    • Luis

      There used to be a brand of fried chicken at IGA by the name of Chester.

      April 2, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      Wait a minute, Chester, I'm a peaceful man....

      April 2, 2014

  • Adam

    I've got some things to sell as well:

    Dehydrated water- you can take it hiking and it doesn't take up any space in your pack

    Job interview slot- for those looking for better employment, it's at the department of redundancy department

    Used, very worn parachute- it's not in great shape so I'll give this one a money-back garauntee

    Submarine screen doors- these come cheap as they've been discontinued

    And finally...

    For a nominal charge, I will use my artistic skills to draw full-body tatoos. Bring in a photograph of yourself, I'll make the tatoo a picture of you, only taller.

    1 · March 26, 2014

    • Dan The Hikin' M.

      I have some powdered milk you can use to rehydrate the water. Just mix 'em together and voila!

      April 2, 2014

    • Dan The Hikin' M.

      Oh, and don't forget to add the cocoa!

      April 2, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Fantastic! The smelly socks perfectly matched the holey boots!

    April 1, 2014

  • Dee

    Is anyone looking to sell a lightweight backpacking tent that's in good condition for a super reasonable price?

    March 31, 2014

    • Brian

      How about I bring it to happy hour tomorrow and you can check it out then

      April 1, 2014

    • Brian

      I hope you're joking..... Just come to the meeting Wednesday. I have a tent for you.

      April 1, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Sorry - ROCKS all sold out! Better luck next year ;-)

    April 1, 2014

  • Vickie

    I have a pair of boots that are already broken in. With custom vents on the sides. In slightly better condition then some I have seen at the REI garage sale.

    April 1, 2014

  • Karen

    we really should do a used gear sale again!!

    April 1, 2014

  • Tim H.

    I have two unused federally issued poop bags with a special gell to absorb the smell to sell because everyone wants to carry their crap when they go hiking!

    March 31, 2014

  • Mory

    For this event I will be selling my custom made fire pits, and for this event only I will be giving with purchase of a fire pit a years worth of wood.

    March 31, 2014

  • Brian

    I have some used socks, gloves and a hat I would like to part with....... willing to trade for a pack of wet wipes or travel pack of kleenex.

    March 26, 2014

    • Marie

      Brought back hilarious memories-- much appreciated.

      March 27, 2014

    • Luis

      its amazing what you can do with socks in an unlikely event

      1 · March 29, 2014

  • Hylari

    Is this a real event or just an April fools joke?

    1 · March 28, 2014

    • Marie

      This is a TYPICAL Zorik April event. But really fun and always entertaining.

      March 28, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    I have an old watch that is correct twice day

    March 26, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      "a" day...oops

      March 26, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    I've a fine selection for those eager for ever more GC conditioning - ROCKS! Just the sizes and weights needed for any pack or pocket! Prices to meet your budget so you can afford the gas to go up there.

    March 26, 2014

  • Linda S.

    If you are using cougar repellant, I won't come within 10 feet of you.

    1 · March 26, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Happy[masked] :-)

    March 25, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      No foolin'!

      March 25, 2014

  • Lisa

    Dibs on the boots!

    March 25, 2014

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