Yards Noir – A Brewing Good Film Noir Experience

It was a dark and stormy brewery…or something like that…as the sounds of cobwebs rattled against ceiling lights while the late night draft blew through the room. Who knew that cobwebs could rattle? But then again, it was a big place, and those were big cobwebs. Bottles were stacked for what seemed a mile high, on dirty pallets that seemed miles wide. Towering into the blackened heavens, a faint tilt could be seen as the light ebbed away from the tops of their columns. Looming spires of glass and wood, they appeared waiting for the morning shift to push them to the finish line. They stood like sentries in the warehouse, guarding the secrets contained within these concrete and steel walls. It was those secrets that brought Detective Mitchell here tonight, here in the dark amidst the sullied steel kegs of God’s brew in the devil’s playground. Among the machinery and steel carts he sought answers, answers that eluded even the best down at the local precinct. A cryptic phone call from a dame only answering to the name Lacey had his mind running with questions, searching for clues to this latest yet greatest mystery. None of his thoughts mattered now because he was running out of time, and his connection was running late. The sound of a door slowly creaking open could be heard, followed by a pause, and then the faint sounds of footsteps on concrete. Click, clack, click, clack, the subtle pattern grew louder, till in his sights was…a goat. Damn, he thought, that thing gets all over this building! The hoof marks on the nearby bags of hops said only one thing: this was one smart goat. With a few steps left till the critter was in arms length, the goat paused and looked over at Detective Mitchell. In in the faint light it looked to him like the goat was laughing. It was a strange sight, but short lived, as the four legged creature took one leap onto a pile of stacked hops and began to chew through the canvas bags. Crazy bovid, he thought, as he tore into his last stick of gum to do his own grazing. He was about to toss the wrapper at the goat when he felt the gun against his back. “You know that littering is not allowed in the brewery, Mr. Mitchell?” a feminine voice whispered from behind, familiar only from today’s call.

“That better be the banana in your pocket that’s happy to see me, lady, ‘cause if that’s iron, you sure do have a way to greet a guy,” he replied. His fingers lightly flicked the wrapper at the goat, much to the delight of the grazing billy. Hops and the wrapper soon disappeared with the continuous chewing. “A girl can’t be too sure of those she meets in places like this,” she said. Her hands ran up and down his sides, taking out the .45 from under his arm, but somehow missing the .38 in his sleeve, and the .32 on each of his ankles, or the .44 Derringer in his hat, or the two knives strapped to the small of his back, and the .22 in his waist band that was disguised as a large belt buckle, or the…oh hell, she only got the .45. He still had time. “Lady, this better be worth both of our whiles. That film is due out any day now. You got the clues we need to find it?” He turned then and snatched both guns from her hands before she could even reply, and jammed the .45 back under his arm. He removed the bullets from her snub nosed revolver and put them in his coat pocket, then handed the gun back to her. “You are quite the disarming gentleman,” she flustered as she placed the empty gun back into her purse. “Are you always that direct with a lady?”

“Only when she doesn’t say hello before putting a gun to my back,” he chuckled. “Now, what about this noir. What do you know?”

Her eyes cast down to the floor, hesitant to return his gaze as her voice quivered in giving a response. “I don’t know if I can help, but I don’t know who to trust with this knowledge. You were highly recommended, but I still had to come prepared.” Detective Mitchell adjusted his hat and put a cigarette to his mouth. The lighter in his hands clicked, but would not spark. After a futile effort with no flame, he tossed it over his head. The goat did not mind as it was swallowed with another mouthful of hops. “This noir thing, you said it was all over town. Who told you it was here?” His voice held an added edge, as time was running out, and answers were yet to be found. She looked up at him, and now tears were in her eyes. “I was told the film noir would be here soon. Sometime in October, possibly the 24th.” She paused, and then continued. “A man, grayish hair, with blue eyes, was whispering to another man in the park. He mentioned something about the 24th, and how the event was to be something special. I believe his name was Joe, but I’m not certain. His companion was high strung, and kept asking if he was getting shots. It was strange, but somehow I felt the need to tell someone.” “You’ve got keen eyes and ears, lady. That’s the PGPG you overheard talking. They’ve been planning this thing for some time, and they don’t play around. You’re lucky you made it out of there in one piece.” He felt something tugging on his pant leg as he stepped to the side. Crazy beast, he thought, as the goat swallowed a piece of his pant leg. “What else did you hear?” He scratched his beard, thinking of how many days now he went without a shave. The draft was chilly on his arm where his coat sleeve had been. A belch was heard from the goat behind him. “I heard talk of something big, something special on October 24th, something so unique that was being held at Yards Brewing. They had help with this one. Some people named Heather, or Ally, or maybe Ryan. Other names were mentioned too, as they seem to have many involved in this ordeal.” She went to look in her purse for a cigarette, but found only her fingers holding the handles. The goat was now sitting on top of the hops, chewing a cigarette in his mouth. “It’s what I thought then,” Detective Mitchell said. “The PGPG has their event on October 24th, from 11am-4pm. They do this every month, but this one is special. They’ll be here. In force. If you don’t have that trench coat yet, you better get one fast.“ He then paused, saying “And put some clothes on, will ya? A man can’t think with that around.” He went to pull his hat down, but found just the brim in his finger tips. Where were HIS clothes? What the hell was going on here? As he started to walk towards the door, he could swear he heard the sounds of a goat laughing. To summarize:
The Who: The Philadelphia Glamour Photography Group
The What: Yards Noir – A Brewing Good Film Noir Experience
The Where: Yards Brewing, 901 N. Delaware Avenue, Philadelphia
The When: Sunday, October 24th, from 11am-4pm (sharp!)
The Why: We have great members that have great suggestions!
The How: RSVP and have the usual tremendous experience

Contributing Artists: MUA - Heather H, http://www.modelmayhe...
MUA - Liana Carlan, http://www.modelmayhe...
Body Painting - Kirk Dupuis, https://www.modelmayh...

Attending Models: Erin Peterson, http://www.modelmayhe...
RachaelMaria, http://www.modelmayhe...
Kristina Paulk, http://www.modelmayhe...
Dana Di Julio, https://www.modelmayh...
Quyen, http://www.modelmayhe...
Cindy W, http://www.modelmayhe...
Annette Boulden, http://www.modelmayhe...
Kate Kleinow, portfolio pending
Mary Tompkins, http://www.modelmayhe...
Matt Simmons, portfolio pending
Pat King, http://www.modelmayhe...
Melissa Honeybee, http://www.modelmayhe...
Brianna Smith, portfolio pending
James Shoemaker, http://www.modelmayhe...
Kristine Lutterer, portfolio pending
Stormy Amaretto, http://www.modelmayhe...
Jim King, portfolio pending
DannieO, http://www.modelmayhe...
Lauren Grau, portfolio pending

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  • Seth

    Hey Everyone,

    Sorry I didn't post from that day. My lighting just wasn't up to snuff.

    February 21, 2011

  • Will S.

    Well-organized, well-attended, lots of diverse space in which to work, good atmosphere, MUAs, period costumes, people working toward a common goal, strong collaboration with models, and ample time to work. Excellent, all-around. Nicely done.

    October 27, 2010

  • Skip

    Good one!

    October 27, 2010

  • Skip

    My hat is off to the models and the MUAs on this one. The outfits and the makeup was absolutely amazing. Also to Albert and Joe for setting it all up. A meetup where you can have a fine fresh brew and stroll back visually into time? What's not to like?!

    October 27, 2010

  • Ken K.

    I have attended many workshops attempting to improve on my skills but this is the first one that really opened doors. There was the light, there was the space, but most of all - There Was a Great Friendly Atmosphere with SUPER FUN MODELS. Thanks to all; the next one can't come fast enough.

    October 26, 2010

  • Ross B.

    I had a great time meeting and working with everyone at the Yards Brewery shoot.

    October 25, 2010

  • Kristine

    i had a great time yesterday, being that it was my first time!!!

    October 25, 2010

  • Ross B.

    This was a great Meetup with lot's of very talented models, photographers, MUA's and artists. The theme was unique and I had an awesome time. The models were almost one to one and we never stopped shooting over the entire day. The Yards Brewery folks were very gracious hosts. This was a Five Star event.

    October 25, 2010

  • A former member
    A former member

    Thanks to everyone who attended. You are all great!

    October 25, 2010

  • Seth

    Noir - one of my favorite genres. Albert did an excellent job shuffling us around, prompting collaboration and creativity. Models were fun, comfortable, and out to create. Fellow photographers were professional in their relationship to the subjects and to each other. MUA work was gorgeous. Fun crowd. Excited for the next meetup.

    October 24, 2010

  • Brian P.

    It was awesome... couldnt have asked for a better crowd... great models and great setting!

    October 24, 2010

  • AGH

    It's always good to see so many creative people. Yards is an extremely good host, and the members of this group always make it worth the while.

    October 24, 2010

  • Brian P.

    Thank you all for making my dream a reality.... (sounds corny huh?) :D

    October 24, 2010

  • Aharon D.

    You rocked it too girl :)

    October 24, 2010

  • james s.

    got up at 530 cause i am excited for today...be ready...lol

    October 24, 2010

  • Kirk D.

    SUPER-PSYCHED 4 SUNDAY

    October 23, 2010

  • Erin P.

    I am super excited about tomorrow! :)

    October 23, 2010

  • Ken K.

    While it may very well be my first outing with this group... I'm also very excited - to meet all of you tomorrow.

    October 23, 2010

  • Kirk D.

    hope someone def makes a run to toys r us for some tommy guns and pea-shooters.. lol - I'm looking to do a zuit suit paintup as well as my big ambitious project: the 'Mal-tease' Falcon paintup

    October 21, 2010

  • james s.

    al, is the young lady you mentioned before...the designer...still coming with a few outfits for me? just wanna make sure before i head up there

    October 21, 2010

  • Kirk D.

    I'll be there - painting a model up as 'the Maltese Falcon' any volunteers?

    October 20, 2010

  • james s.

    oh this is gonna be fun.....thanks albert

    October 12, 2010

  • Brian P.

    And finally it has come... ;)

    October 10, 2010

  • Kirk D.

    I'll def be there...

    October 9, 2010

  • Annette

    Thanks! Im a member of a Wholesale Costume Club (just ordered my 7 yo Clone Trooper costume!) and they have some cool stuff on there. Def ordering a few things.

    October 8, 2010

  • Erin P.

    lol. Of course you can! That's why I am bringing them. :) I also have a long cigarette holder! A sexy dress or gown would have a good femme fatale look. Like a classy lounge singer or something...

    October 8, 2010

  • Annette

    Im so excited! I am working on the clothes... nd thinking of ideas for props Cant wait to see everone again and meet new faces! Great scene setting ALbert :)

    October 8, 2010

  • Erin P.

    Kristina, I am bringing dresses, skirt suits, a pencil skirt and bouse, hats, gloves, and coats. I am also bringing fake cigarettes (6 of them) from the halloween store for us non-smokers. lol.

    October 8, 2010

  • Melissa B.

    ROFL Aharon! I applaud the literary effort, Albert.

    October 8, 2010

  • Erin P.

    I am so excited!

    October 8, 2010

  • Aharon D.

    I'll go just to see how the story ends LOL

    October 8, 2010

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