Free Workshop

It's been a while, but let's get back into the issues that plague us with regard to being less nice and getting what we want from our partners. In particular, I want to talk about how our partners and potential partners fill our minds so we can't think about anything else.

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  • samwise

    Perhaps... Just Perhaps... We could have specific events geared for co-ed attendance?

    I do feel that we want to make anyone comfortable and it's really about bonding and connecting with other men BUT it can really useful to get women's point of view... I think often our (men's) impression of what "woman" want and think is WAY OFF and it is great and enlightening to have them involved in an open forum.

    I have been often surprised and enlightened by these co-ed discussions and shocked by how completely off I have been in my assumptions of women's point of view.

    October 16, 2013

    • samwise

      Yup...

      and this is not across the board BUT I find a lot of: men process internally and typically only talk when they've processed everything they need to and get to a point where they want to work on it, NOT just "share:".

      October 16, 2013

    • samwise

      and this is not across the board BUT I find a lot of: women process externally, without any desire for feedback or your thoughts on how to "fix' the issue... They like a sounding board BUT would like to figure it out on there own BUT they say it out load, so it can be confused with asking for help.

      I have a friend who actually asks all their friends:
      Are you looking for me to just listen or actively listen and help come up with possible solutions?

      Once they let her know, she listens accordingly... Pretty Insightful.

      In general, men like to help and fix things, and assume since they only talk when they want answers, so do you... And this causes a lot of issues... And Visa Versa, Just listening to a man when he's looking for an answer does NOT help, it just frustrates him.

      http://www.youtube.co...­

      October 16, 2013

  • Adrian L

    I prefer to keep this group to be exclusively men only. It is very hard to open up yourself when women are present. Based on my experience and observation, majority of women tend to ignore most guys in the group and only prefer to talk to alpha guys. I am afraid that the group may break easily when women come.

    October 15, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      I read and respect your answer and won't be joining. I did find your comment about generalizing most women as only preferring to speak w alpha males as false. There's a huge difference in perceived confidence in men versus alpha male. Sometimes and I speak only for myself ..an alpha male is flawed as he has to win or be better at another's expense. The absolute worst dating experience I ever had in my entire life was with a self perceived alpha male.. sometimes men are insecure and use loud aggressive arrogance to make themselves look better. Trust me a lot of women..especially the wise ones or those that see intrinsic worth dont want that. Best for you if you believe women would enjoy conversations with you regardless of alpha male status.

      1 · October 16, 2013

  • samwise

    Hmmmm... I lean toward this group being about connecting healthily to our masculinity and where we as men stray from it. Not just in our romantic relationships but in all aspects of our lives. It's not a group that explores Women's healthy femininity... Though a group that explores both together would be great. And If Michael is up for a 2nd group, I'd be pretty excited about it.

    October 15, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      I think that I possibly misunderstood the core purpose of the group when I asked about joining to meet nice guys. Best wishes to each and every one of you in your journey to recovery and optimal health. :)

      1 · October 15, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      Somehow Michael can you remove me from group? Not sure how to do that from my end.. and if you ever make a coed group based on healthy relationship I would be interested in joining that one thank you..

      October 15, 2013

  • Erez A.

    I think that the presence of women would reduce the comfort level of many men in being completely open and honest about topics which may provoke feelings of anxiety or shame. As I believe that those same topics are important to address, I'd say it's best that we limit the group to only men.

    October 15, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Men only please.

    October 15, 2013

  • Will

    I don't think I'd feel comfortable in this group talking about sex and other topics as openly if women were there. This group is about being friends with men, not friends with women; although, obviously, I love women too. I could trust talking to certain women about sex but not one I didn't even know, and it's already challenging opening up to men I don't know well about this stuff.

    October 15, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Good idea. I'd say if even one person feels having a woman in the group would hamper their honesty then we're better off restricting it to only men.

    October 15, 2013

  • Michael P.

    I'm thinking of emailing the group as a whole to see what they think.

    October 14, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    It wouldn't bother me to have women in the group. In fact, I wouldn't mind hearing their prospective.

    October 14, 2013

  • Michael P.

    Actually, I/we haven't faced the question of whether or not it is for men only, nor whether we would like to women present at the group meetings. But I will take a poll and see what the guys think. Michael

    October 14, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      I suppose it would depend what the true mission focus of the group is if its to help people have healthy boundaries in healthy relationships I don't see an issue but if men in the group feel like they cannot trust women overall it might become an issue.. Have a nice evening .take care

      October 14, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Is this group for men only? Actually I appreciate a man that is nice and that is what drew me to your group. I think nice is under rated. Being a pushover, no, but nice..yes. If I'm still invited to the next meetup, let me know. I just moved here 3 weeks ago and would like to meet nice people. Thanks either way. Karie

    October 14, 2013

  • Will

    I really appreciate everyone's openness. I learned a lot and felt very comfortable sharing in that environment. I look forward to the next one. I agree with what everyone else posted.

    September 24, 2013

  • Brad B.

    Men of the Saturday Morning 9/21 Re-Masculators Meet-up workshop – Bravo! I feel honored to have been with you and shared so authentically. My judgment is that every man there shared in a way that showed great strength in revealing something less than perfect about himself. I felt safe to share the “real me” and I am grateful for that opportunity with you men.

    I continue to be wonderfully blown-away by men every time a safe container is created to share what is real. Michael, you deserve the credit for creating that container and for facilitating such a great conversation. Thank you.

    Brad

    September 23, 2013

    • Michael P.

      And thank you for showing up and for being so open yourself. It was great to have you.

      September 23, 2013

  • samwise

    OK... was reading other posts and saw at least one person wants a FB Group... So I created it...

    It is a secret group so, Friend me on FB
    http://facebook.com/samwiser
    With a note saying you are part of this Meetup and want to be in the FB Re-Masculators Group

    And I will add you to the group:

    September 23, 2013

  • Michael P.

    Really, really good meeting. Glad to see all of you there. I'm setting one up for October. I'm making it tentatively Sunday morning, Oct. 19 from 10:30-12:30. I'm hoping that works for a lot of you.

    Michael

    1 · September 22, 2013

    • samwise

      Oct 19th is a Sat. You mean Sun Oct 20th, Correct?

      September 23, 2013

  • samwise

    Hey all... Sorry I had to run off and didn't hang for Lunch...
    I am up for getting together between meetups...
    Message me and we'll make plans... also, if we want to created a private FB group for keeping in contact and just general communication, let me know and I'll create it!

    Good Meeting! Good Men! :)

    Samwise

    September 23, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Michael, the middle section/path in your chart is making more and more sense to me! I just tried it in a personal situation and I didn't feel ashamed or anxious. Any thoughts on meeting more often or FB group? Thank you all great men for sharing so openly today.

    September 21, 2013

  • Adrian L

    It was awesome meeting you all.

    September 21, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Great meeting! It was nice meeting you, Michael, and so many wonderufl guys.

    September 21, 2013

  • Erez A.

    It was a great opportunity for me to review some key concepts relating to my own tendencies.

    1 · September 21, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Good meeting! Michael, can you email me the chart you have out?

    September 21, 2013

  • Leighton S.

    Looking forward to the meeting.

    September 16, 2013

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