The West Suburban Divorce Support Group Message Board › Physical and Legal Custody

Physical and Legal Custody

A former member
Post #: 5
Has anyone heard of both parents asking for physical and legal custody? Even though my wife will have residential custody of our four daughters, I want to reserve the right to having one or more of the children live with me in the future if they desire and include a clause in the divorce settlement that child support will automatically adjust to the next percentage level(s) during the duration of living arrangement with me.
A former member
Post #: 4
Discuss it with your soon-to-be ex and put it in the divorce decree.
Crystal
user 8697468
Lyons, IL
Post #: 113
for consistency of the children's education, it is best that both of you live in the school district. That way the child can go from one home to the next without having to transfer schools.

Joint custody is the best route but as the non-custodial parent you only have a say in what is best for the children. The residential custodial parent is given final decision.

depending on the ages of your children, also check the school calendars online for the grade school, junior high school and high school they will attend, so you know what vacation days they currently have and hope the schedule does not change much over the years.

remember what you do not put in your parenting agreement and divorce decree will require you to go back to court and WILL COST you more money in the long run to go back to court.
A former member
Post #: 4
Well, as a father who went through hell with a wife who argued the same things as you, Beth, I respectfully disagree. I never traveled for work like your husband, but my wife still claimed I was never much of a father to the kids, even though I was little league coach, was always there, put the kids to bed each nite saying "I'll always be here to protect you," etc. Every situation is different, of course, but joint custody doesn't mean that you will have less of the kids, just that your husband will have an equal say in important decisions.

I think that almost 100 percent of the time, the mother will have more of a bond with the child, and I think that is normal. As I was growing up, my mom was often cruel and vindictive toward her kids (me included) while my dad was a prince of a guy. Yet had my parents divorced, I realized recently that I probably would have wanted to live with my mom, because she was "mom," after all. So, there is always the child/mother bond.

All I'm saying is that from the little I've heard from you, Beth, there is nothing there that would legally deny the father the right to have joint custody. Your husband travels a lot, yes, but in this day and age, distance is not a problem for communication. There is texting, e-mails, etc. Again, this is respectfully submitted and written to show a father's point of view.
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