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Vegan Long Island Message Board › veg humor, advice, hugs for Thanksgiving 2012

veg humor, advice, hugs for Thanksgiving 2012

Jennifer G.
user 6937947
Group Organizer
Bellport, NY
Post #: 276
Dear Vegan Long Island members,

Here's some veg humor for you (these zingers are for entertainment purposes ONLY!), followed by more serious advice for the holiday...

Zingers for Vegetarians on Thanksgiving [from]
Posted November 23, 2010

You know, it isn't always easy being a vegetarian. Squash is really hard to prepare, salads at fast food restaurants are, like, greasy, and family meals can be stressful—especially if you have one of those grandparents who lived through the depression and thinks you're crazy for omitting any kind of food from your diet, believes chicken doesn't count as meat, or thinks you're "going through a phase."

Yep, on Thanksgiving, you're likely to come face to face with someone who doesn't get your decision to not eat animals. Here's what you say between mouthfuls of Tofurky and pumpkin pie. (Raise your hand if you're glad pie is almost always vegetarian!)

- Wasn't Grandma a vegetarian, too? Crazy Grandma Eve? I'm trying to be like her. That's also why I'm naked right now.

- I'm a pretty peaceful person, and I happen to think strawberry harvests are way less bloody than slaughterhouses.

- Actually I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. DEATH TO VEGETABLES!!!

- Sure, I'll have some turkey. Can we grill Santa for Christmas?

- I'm just going straight to the vegetables, and cutting out the middle man. Didn't you want me to go to business school?

- You're breathing animal carcass into my face again. And you have pig butt between your teeth.

- <Your pet's name here> promised that if I stopped eating meat, he'd stop pooping in my bed.

- I've had that dream that I'm in the boiling pot of water and the lobsters are cooking me so many times that it's getting a little freaky.

- I'm saving all the meat for you. You're welcome.

- Look! The turkey's trying to get away!

Now that we've had a few chuckles, here's some more serious advice about handling the holiday gathering...

Some of us are going to be with not-yet-vegan folks tomorrow, and some of us are going to be alone tomorrow.

My advice, if you're dining with folks who still eat animals?

Project contentment and serenity. Show you're happy with your food choices. If anyone tries to tease you, remember that they're probably "blocked veg[etari]ans," as author Carol Adams would say. Smile, and don't let them get you angry—they're the ones with the issues. NOT you.

Remember that if you're angry or sullen, you may be reinforcing unfortunate stereotypes about humorless veg[etari]ans. So prove them wrong! Grin and bear it. Show you have a sense of humor, even if their anti-veg teasing is excruciatingly dumb.

Seriously, keep in mind that teasing & hostility may even be a GOOD sign. Sometimes the person who's the most uncomfortable about your food choices is actually the one whose conscience is bothering her/him the most. They may be closest to making a change, even though they might not realize it right now!

If someone asks you at the dinner table why you're veg, here's what I recommend you say: The short answer is I don't want to hurt animals. And there are a lot of other good reasons, but would it be okay if we wait until after we're all done eating? Or this: Well, since I stopped eating animals, I've never felt happier or healthier. I'd love to tell you more, but would it be okay if we wait until after we're all done eating?

Why do I recommend you DON'T launch further into the very good reasons you're veg? While meat is being eaten around you is probably the WORST time to be telling people what's negative about eating animals. Can you say defensive? They're much more likely to be receptive to what you're saying when they're not engaged in the very activity you're discussing.

Of course, you know your friends and family, so use your best judgement. Maybe everyone at the table would be open to hearing what you have to say. But more often than not, it's a smart, and disarming, strategy to wait until after the meal to inform others about the animal abuse and violence that are part of meat, dairy, and egg production.

The folks at FARM give similar advice—please see their "Compassionate Holidays" website for additional Q&A for handling the holidays:­

Remember: be a campfire, not a forest fire. That's Zoe Weil's motto—read her essay here (it's super-short):­

The animals need you to burn just right—not so raging hot that people run away from you, but warmly, so that others are drawn TO you.

And to those of you who will be alone tomorrow...enjoy yourself. Go for a walk, read a good book, eat something healthy, be glad you're not overeating...and know that I'm with you in spirit.

May everyone have a plate full of peace this Thanksgiving. My heart is full of gratitude for all of you.

And to Gary, Karen & Bruce, Dom, Arnie, and anyone else who has suffered tremendous, horrible loss from the storm: please lean on this meetup group if you need to. I want to help you get through this difficult time. You are my chosen family, and family should be there when help is needed.

Big vegan hugs and peace to all,

Jennifer Greene
Vegan Long Island Meetup -­
Long Island Vegan Family Network -­
631-278-5108 (call or text)

GetVegucated -­
Unitarian Universalist Animal Ministry -­
Chomping Climate Change -­
Now online: Melanie Joy's "Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows" presentation -­­ - hundreds of free, easy-to-understand videos on the latest in nutrition research
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