Washington Abraham Hicks Meetup Group Message Board › Abraham Quotes on Grief
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I've looked up some Abraham quotes on grief. They're very long. One here and one in the next posting.
Q: My girlfriend's mother just died -- suddenly,
about a month ago. And she goes through these periods
of overwhelming grief. How can I offer comfort? How
can I best comfort her -- when she does not want to be
steered to, well, just think happy thoughts? She gets
focused on the loss and loneliness.
Abe: Well, you cannot buck her current, and it
really doesn't serve her, or you either, to try to ask
her to feel differently than she feels. So soothe
yourself by saying, "As time passes, this will
soften." Soothe yourself by remembering who your
girlfriend is and by remembering how stable she is and
by remembering her love of life and by remembering how
easily she feels good. And by acknowledging that she
feels good much of the time anyway, and by
acknowledging that there will be trigger points that
will make her feel the loss more. By acknowledging
that it's getting better and better.
And so you have to decide who are you? In other
words, are you going to commiserate in her sorrow and
‘disempower' yourself as she is choosing to do (even
though she doesn't know she's choosing to
do it because it feels like it's just overtaking her)?
Or are you stronger than that? Are you able to stand
there in a better-feeling place? Are you able to
acknowledge that death is not a bad thing but a joyous
thing and that is something that everybody's going to
We think it's a really interesting thing how you all
fall apart at the idea of death, when all of you are
going to die. We do not think you are practicing
death in a very powerful way. Like we were talking
earlier -- our friend was talking about how... he's
going to quit smoking in six months, and even if the
world comes to an end, he's still going to do it. And
we say, think about what you've been doing with the
subject of your personal death. Every time someone
dies, or nearly so, so many of you look at that as
something really, really not wanted. Death, after
all, is a synonym for punishment. And we think that
when someone dies it would be very good right now to
begin practicing what you now know about death: it's
this inevitable new step into a new perspective. It
is the continuation of who you are from a more
powerful vantage point. It is awareness of
All-That-Is from broader view. It is energy that now
still has clear view of all that is you.
Your girlfriend does not need to separate herself from
her mother. She has more opportunity to experience
the energy and the clarity and the knowledge of her
mother now than she has ever had because her mother is
part of the equation that's in a place of pure,
positive energy. And we certainly understand that
feeling of loss, because you cannot behold her or
smell her, you cannot participate with her in the way
that you once did. But, oh, the relationship can be
more than it has ever been now that she has re-emerged
into pure, positive energy.
So we would begin saying things such as, "I do not
believe your mother is gone. I believe your mother is
like us -- I believe your mother is eternal. I do not
believe your mother is away from us. I do not believe
you can receive her right now in your agony, but I
believe that is aware of us."
Just relax in all of it and tell yourself [that] this,
too, shall pass, this discomfort will fade and the
relationship will continue.
Usually, the greatest discomfort that we feel physical
beings feeling around the subject of death is a
feeling of I should have done something more, I should
have said more, I should have completed something.
And we say, nothing is ever finished. There is no
finish line. It's like a football game that has
unlimited time -- you can still score another
touchdown, you can still run down the field some more.
There is no ending place in this eternal life that we
are all about, you see.
The beginnings and endings that you call birth and
death are more about helping you to focus than
anything else. But they really are illusions. You
are eternal beings. And when you re-emerge into
nonphysical, you do not become less-than. You don't
become some nebulous, unfocused energy that just
swirls around in nothingness. You assume that
perspective of all-knowingness. You remember all that
you are, not just the personality that you were. But
as your daughter or someone who loves you recalls that
which you were and approaches it from a positive
vibrational standpoint, you can reconstitute that
energy and be, for a moment in time, that focused
energy, and it is very satisfying to someone who's
made their transition into nonphysical to take all of
that power and clarity of nonphysical and then have it
re-summoned by someone who's focusing from a pure,
It is delicious to talk to our live friends from our
dead standpoint. We all enjoy it immensely.
Edited by Teresa Rogovsky on Aug 1, 2005 8:15 AM
This quote is too long for one posting so I'm splitting it into two. Before the poem I'll break the quote and pick it up in the next posting.
GUEST: My mother died about three months ago. And I've been having a lot of experiences that tell me that she wanted to go. She was ready to go. Those parts feel good, and I feel pretty clear about that. But what I want to know about is grief. Sometimes I just feel it, and it's like a missing her and a grief. I'm just wondering. Can it be like joy? If I'm connected to my true self and having Pure Positive Energy, sometimes can it be that feeling of grief as opposed to joy? Does it always have to be a happy thing?
ABRAHAM: Well, we're appreciating your probing here about emotions, because when an emotion is a very strong emotion, it's easier to identify what it is. When you're having a hard time knowing if something is the emotion of joy or the emotion of grief, sometimes probing a little further will help you to identify.
This morning, when Esther awakened, Jerry was in a very connected, good feeling state. He could hardly wait for Esther to wake up and get focused into the day, because he had something he really wanted to visit with her about. He had been reading a paper that someone had given to him some time ago. As he read it to Esther, he could not stop crying. It was moving him on such a deep level. And Esther said to him, "Is this joy that you're feeling, or sadness?" It was hard for her to tell what he was feeling, because he was feeling moved.
When you're talking about the subject of death, there is not much that connects you more to your feeling of Source, or to your feeling of wholeness, than that. And so, we wouldn't spend too much time trying to figure out if it's a feeling of joy. We wouldn't try to label the feeling so much. If it's a feeling that you want to go back to, then we would say it's a feeling of connection. If it's a feeling that you just hate when it comes over you, and you feel relieved when it goes away, then we would say it is a feeling of disconnection.
We would not use the term 'grief' for it. We would say, it is a
deeper connection that is inspired by my attention to the passing into Nonphysical of my mother. The reason that you call it 'grief' is because you've been programmed to believe that you should feel bad about death.
GUEST: But I miss her. So then I say to myself, "Well does that mean it's lack?" I just miss her.
ABRAHAM: Well, the feeling of missing someone, that is grief. And it's natural.
We are eager to talk about this, because it is something that all of you will experience. Some of you can experience grief just in thinking about it, and any time you are thinking about something that you do not want, you feel negative emotion.
We think it would be helpful to talk about why it is that the death of someone that you care about is something that you do not want. Let's talk about that. You say, "I miss her." Amplify that just a little bit. You said she was ready to go. What did you mean by that? Let us ask you some questions here: Did you see your mother, in her days before her making her transition, as someone who the contrast was producing Rockets of Desire that she was taking pleasure in focusing upon? In other words, was this physical experience still producing things that...(looking at Jerry) read your Ithaka thing. Hear this, it fits together here.
JERRY: Can you read? Through Esther's eyes, I mean?
ABRAHAM: We can. It is better if you do. We will, if you are wanting.
(ABRAHAM reads _Journey to Ithaka_ by C.P. Cavafy)
[continued in the following post]
(ABRAHAM reads _Journey to Ithaka_ by C.P. Cavafy)
As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseideon -- don't be afraid of them
You'll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon -- you won't encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.
Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
May you stop at Phoenician trading stations to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind --
as many sensual perfumes you can;
And may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.
Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you've gained on the way,
Not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.
And if you find her poor,
Ithaka won't have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become,
so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these
ABRAHAM: Whoever wrote that knows what we know: It is never about the manifestation. It is about the desire that summons the life. It is about the object of attention that causes the inspiration to move forward. And so, we think that when someone makes their transition into Nonphysical, that the reason that it often touches you at a very deep level that you do not understand, aside from the superfluous missing of them in the kitchen, or whatever, we think the reason that
it reaches you so deeply, is because there's a part of you that
recognizes that an Ithaka, for them, no longer exists in this
physical time/space reality. That this environment is no longer
producing the desire that is summoning them forward along this path.
We're wanting you to understand that an Ithaka, so to speak, of much greater proportion is now calling them -- beyond what this format can provide for them -- into the eternalness.
The grief that you feel is usually about it feeling like an ending.
At a level that you don't even consciously understand, you understand the eternalness of your being. And you love this feeling of wanting that continues to summon you forward. When someone makes their transition, what that always means, always, always, always, means, no exceptions ever, what it always means is -- this time/space reality is no longer producing the stuff that summons them forward here. But
it does not mean that they are not continuing to be summoned forward. They are being summoned by the Broader Knowing.
There is never a reason to feel any grief about the reemergence. It is a new beginning of extraordinary proportion. It is a goal, it is an objective, it is a knowing that is calling, that is so powerful that there is a joyous romping beyond description. If you could feel the way those Nonphysical Energies feel once they have made their transition and they are refocused from that broader perspective, having left behind any resistance that has kept this place from being that for them, you would never again feel that for them.
Now, sometimes in that passing of them, you feel it a little for
yourself. Because there is a part of you that is stirred, a Soul part of you that helps you, on even a cellular level, to remember that you are here intending to find things that call you forward. And often a passing of another makes you question, even in ways that you can't consciously put into words, "What is here for me? How well am I utilizing this time/space reality in calling me forward?" And we think that this feeling of discomfort, that you are feeling, is producing a new Rocket of Desire within you that's going to cause you to begin focusing upon, "Well, here I am. I have many happy years left. What am I wanting to do? How am I wanting to draw Energy through me, here?"
These words are so wonderful that have been spoken to you here about Ithaka, because what it is saying is: When physical life experience causes a focus within you that summons Life Force to you -- then you are alive. And if you are, in your physical body, not allowing that promise of what is new to keep calling through...if you are so aware of where you stand, so that most of your thoughts are about where you stand, so that there is no calling forward -- then it is time for you to be called forward into the vaster Nonphysical perspective. And we think that's what you're feeling.
If we were standing in your physical shoes, we would utilize this negative emotion in a very powerful way. We would say, "This negative emotion that I am feeling, I am calling it grief, but it is about discontent, it is about questioning my own beingness. It's about wondering who I'm about or what we're all about. I'm going to figure this out. I'm going to find more things in every day to give me the feeling of joy. By darn, I'm going to find them. I'm going to find more things to be exhilarated about."
We think that's what this is all about for you. And for most. ###