The Original ALPHAbar of San Francisco
As seen in the SF Weekly!!
WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY!!!!! Wednesday, January 9th, ALPHAbar is BACK!. We're at Abbey Tavern to start the year off right, and you had better get ready for a royal charity smackdown like you've NEVER SEEN BEFORE!!! Hulk Hogan is dead. The Gravedigger's car is in the junkyard, and the Ultimate Warrior has Ultimate DIABETES! But we are bringing you two of the most hardcore, givingest charities ever to face off in a cage match bar battle to determine the winner of ALPHAbar Smackdown 2012.
That's right, folks. If you liked Andre the Giant and if you thought BIGFOOT was good at crushing cars, you won't believe what we have in store for you. Two charities. One sponsorship. You decide the winner. It's the RUMBLE IN THE CHARITY JUNGLE. OR THE CHARITY BRAWL IN THE URBAN SPRAWL!!!
Let me introduce our contestants:
If you have spent any time on the hard streets of Nanyuki, Kenya, you probably know the ultimate grassroots childhood education non-profit: THE SIMAMA PROJECT!!! From crushing glue sniffing addictions to destroying a lack of free public education by sponsoring street children and sending them to school for the first time, The Simama Project is a grassroots organization that uses money to directly sponsor street children in Nanyuki who show promise and are willing and eager to attend boarding schools. Founded by Marin native Matt Orcutt, who spends half of his year working on the streets of Nanyuki and with boarding schools in Kenya, this is one charity where you can donate money and see direct results. No Sally Struthers bullshit, this is the real deal. And of the 21 kids that Matt has helped get off the streets and into school, almost every one of of them is ranked at the top 3 of their classes, and will likely get a full scholarship to high schools and colleges in Kenya or the US. If there is a more ULTIMATE way to have a direct influence on the lives of disadvantaged children and make a difference in their communities, you should... probably... donate to them too, I guess. For more about the Simama Project, visit http://intheshadowofmtkenya.blogspot.com/
But if you thought that the Simama Project was the one and only ULTIMATE CHARITY WARRIOR, you haven't heard of our second charity, The SOLD Project. If you like kids and hate prostitution, this is the charity for you! Based in Bangkok, Thailand, the SOLD Project fights sexual exploitation of Thai children through sponsorships, education, and mentoring. With a mission to keep poor children in Thailand from falling victim to the thriving and despicable sex industry, the SOLD Project is A GIANT at saving lives and fighting sex exploitation in Thailand, and is indirectly fighting international human trafficking everywhere. Do you hate pedophiles? BOOM! The SOLD project is the charity for you. So unless your name is Jerry and your last name rhymes with Van Musky, come stop by and help the fight against child exploitation. And if that IS your name, get ready for a ROYAL CHARITY BEATDOWN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!!! For more on The SOLD Project, visit http://thesoldproject.com/
That's right folks: two charities, both directly helping children and breaking the poverty cycle in disadvantaged areas. The charities will have tables set up at the bar with donation receptacles. Your dollars decide who ALPHAbar will be sponsoring for the year. A difficult decision ALPHAbarians, but the good news is you win either way.