Long before there was a meetup site, before there was a world wide web, before newgroups, even before IRC one man took it upon himself to spread "The word" to Cleveland and beyond...

...and the word was:

Note:
You may not yet understand meaning of all this. You may think this is ridiculous and confusion may be working its way into your cerebral cortex at this very moment. This is understandable. If you find yourself in this sad situation then it is a clear sign that you NEED to attend this event! Sure, you like the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who doesn't? But as a Freethinker you probably think that all cults and religions are bad. But this is simply the result of being exposed to false religions like Christianity, Islam, Judaisms, Buddhism, Rastafarianism etc, etc. Once you truly understand the word of "Bob" then you will be ready. Ready for what? The Rupture of course! Don't be left out next July 5th, when the aliens come to take the worthy ones away to a better place. Come and learn. Learn the word, and the word is "Bob" and his Church of the SubGenius (tm)

"Eternal salvation or triple your money back! ®"

The organizers of the Cleveland Freethinkers, The Reverend Ivan Stang, The Church of the SubGenus, Meetup.com, Panera Bread Inc. are not responsible for any damage, mental or otherwise, to attendees* of this event with the following conditions:

Acute stress disorder
Adjustment disorders
Agoraphobia
alcohol and substance abuse
alcohol and substance dependence
Amnesia
Anxiety disorders
Anorexia nervosa
Antisocial personality disorder
Asperger's syndrome, also known as Asperger's disorder
Attention deficit disorder
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder
Autism
Avoidant personality disorder
Bereavement
Bibliomania
Binge eating disorder (proposed)
Bipolar disorder
Body dysmorphic disorder
Borderline personality disorder
Brief psychotic disorder
Bulimia nervosa
Cannabis addiction
Circadian rhythm sleep disorder
Conduct disorder
Conversion disorder
Cyclothymia (or Cyclothymic disorder)
Delusional disorder
Dependent personality disorder
Depersonalization disorder
Depression
Disorder of written expression
Dissociative fugue
Dissociative identity disorder
Dyspareunia
Dysthymic disorder
Encopresis
Enuresis (bedwetting)
Exhibitionism
Expressive language disorder
Female and male orgasmic disorders
Female sexual arousal disorder
Fetishism
Folie à deux
Frotteurism
Gender identity disorder
Generalized anxiety disorder
General adaptation syndrome
Histrionic personality disorder
Hyperactivity disorder
Primary hypersomnia
Hypoactive sexual desire disorder
Hypochondriasis
Hyperkinetic syndrome
Hysteria
Intermittent explosive disorder
Joubert syndrome
Kleptomania
Down syndrome
Mania
Male erectile disorder
Munchausen syndrome
Mathematics disorder
Mental retardation (strictly this is not a mental illness)
Multiple personality disorder
Narcissistic personality disorder
Narcolepsy
Nightmare disorder
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
Oppositional defiant disorder
Pain disorder
Panic attacks
Panic disorder
Paranoid personality disorder
Pathological gambling
Pedophilia
Pica
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Premature ejaculation
Primary insomnia
Psychotic disorder, not otherwise specified
Pyromania
Reading disorder
Retts disorder
Rumination disorder
Schizoaffective disorder
Schizoid personality disorder
Schizophrenia
Schizophreniform disorder
Schizotypal personality disorder
Seasonal affective disorder
Separation anxiety disorder
sexual Masochism and Sadism
Shared psychotic disorder
Sleep disorder
Sleep terror disorder
Sleepwalking disorder
Social phobia
Somatization disorder
Specific phobias
Stereotypic movement disorder
Stuttering
Tourette syndrome
Transient tic disorder
Transvestic Fetishism
Trichotillomania
Vaginismus
Voyeurism

* This disclaimer is doubly applicable to church-goers and adherents of the 10,000+ theistic belief systems devised by humans suffering from any of the preceding disorders.