Re: [humanism-174] advice on planning your funeral

From: Joanna
Sent on: Friday, September 28, 2012 12:10 PM

LMAO! No they didn't wash it. I didn't even think of how gross it was on top of being totally riduculous.


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From: sheri presloid <[address removed]>;
To: <[address removed]>;
Subject: Re: [humanism-174] advice on planning your funeral
Sent: Fri, Sep 28,[masked]:21:26 PM

That is not only freaky, but very unsanitary.  Everyone was kissing this cross after someone else just kissed it or did they clean it before the next person?  Geez...good way to get a cold OR cold sores!  


On Fri, Sep 28, 2012 at 10:18 AM, Joanna <[address removed]> wrote:

My husband's grandmother died a Byzantine Catholic a few years ago. It was so sad to me that two days' worth of chanting and preaching included exactly 3 minutes specific to his grandmother. His family never got over me refusing to go up to the front of the church with everyone else to kiss a cross that apeared to be gold and ornate with jewels.


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From: Mark Tiborsky <[address removed]>;
To: <[address removed]>;
Subject: Re: [humanism-174] advice on planning your funeral
Sent: Fri, Sep 28,[masked]:27:21 PM

Yeah- it's sort of distasteful to have to wade through the religious goop, but I figure 90% of memorial services are going to be at least partly religious. So if I attend to celebrate the life of the person, hearing family, etc speak about them is the biggest part of that.

Unfortunately, the religious nonsense usually precedes, but I only remember one occasion when it was nearly intolerable. And on that occasion, neither the deceased nor his wife were particularly religious! The presiding pastor even stated that "Bev (the wife) may not care for what I have to say", but that didn't stop him from droning on about the Lord for 15 minutes straight, maybe longer. I'm not sure why that particular pastor was there in the 1st place- he may have been a business associate, etc who volunteered to do the service, and the wife didn't want to turn him down.

On Sep 28,[masked]:25 AM, "Greg Priddy" <[address removed]> wrote:
>
> That is my number one pet peeve about religious funerals. It's a time to grieve and remember, not a fucking altar call!
>
>
> On Thu, 27 Sep[masked]:42:53 -0400
>  Mark Tiborsky <[address removed]> wrote:
>>
>> A quick aside about funerals... two Saturdays ago, Marni & I attended the
>> memorial service of the mother of a good friend in the group. The mother
>> passed way too young at 61 :(
>>
>> Anyway- after saying some kind words about the deceased, the pastor
>> launched into the part of Alice in Wonderland where Alice asks the Chesire
>> Cat which way she should go. Then he abruptly said, "Now, for those of us
>> who prefer non-fiction...", and proceeded to talk about Lord Jesus Christ &
>> the "path" to get right with him :)
>> On Sep 27,[masked]:28 PM, "Joanna" <[address removed]> wrote:
>>
>>> Bah-humbug. I prefer to lean on memory and what does remain; to count the
>>> moments that I did have, rather than the ones I never will.  To each their
>>> own. Perhaps you will find your comfort one day.
>>>
>>>
>>> ------------------------------
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> *In Loving Memory of SSG Edward W. Carman
>>> *Nov. 1976-Apr.2004 - US Army, 2/12 Cavalry
>>>
>>>
>>> ------------------------------
>>> *From:* Linas K Muliolis <[address removed]>
>>> *To:* [address removed]
>>> *Sent:* Thu, September 27,[masked]:54:19 PM
>>> *Subject:* Re: [humanism-174] advice on planning your funeral

>>>
>>>
>>> Doesn't matter what remains, you will never interact with that person
>>> again....  :(
>>> Not in the sense of meeting conscious mind with conscious mind...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Thu, Sep 27, 2012 at 6:51 PM, Joanna <[address removed]> wrote:
>>>
>>>>  Though you must lose, however, it is a comfort still that something
>>>> remains. The person, I must disagree, does live on; not in its own
>>>> consciousness, but within those...you know where I'm going with that.
>>>>
>>>> I say a person who was loved is never gone.
>>>>
>>>> Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android
>>>>
>>>>  ------------------------------
>>>> * From: * Linas K Muliolis <[address removed]>;
>>>> * To: * <[address removed]>;
>>>> * Subject: * Re: [humanism-174] advice on planning your funeral
>>>> * Sent: * Thu, Sep 27,[masked]:46:18 PM

>>>>
>>>>
>>>>   It's really cool and all, but still, the consciousness, the person, is
>>>> still not the same as the energy and atoms, etc...
>>>>
>>>> That will forever be gone...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On Thu, Sep 27, 2012 at 4:41 PM, sheri presloid <[address removed]>wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> You made my day, Joanna!  I am glad that you got the same reaction I
>>>>> did.
>>>>>
>>>>> I lost seven people (including my mother and best friend) since July
>>>>> 2011.  I found this so comforting and thought of the material things that I
>>>>> have from my mother and friend and I will look at those objects in a
>>>>> different way.   :)
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> On Thu, Sep 27, 2012 at 4:07 PM, Joanna <[address removed]> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Wow. That is beautiful and, when I think of those lost to me, I am
>>>>>> comforted. Thank you for sharing.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android
>>>>>>
>>>>>>  ------------------------------
>>>>>> * From: * sheri presloid <[address removed]>;
>>>>>> * To: * <[address removed]>;
>>>>>> * Subject: * [humanism-174] advice on planning your funeral
>>>>>> * Sent: * Thu, Sep 27,[masked]:14:28 PM

>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>   I was listening to The Thinking Atheist podcast on An Atheist
>>>>>> Funeral and he ended the episode with an email from a listener who sent in
>>>>>> the following.  I googled it and it was on NPR
>>>>>> http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4675953. I
>>>>>> thought it was just perfect.  This is from 2005, so this might have been
>>>>>> repeated.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> *Commentator Aaron Freeman isn't a person who does much planning

>>>>>>
>>>>>> ahead. However, if you like to look ahead to the future, he has some advice
>>>>>> for you, advice on planning your funeral.*

>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> AARON FREEMAN:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist
>>>>>> to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they
>>>>>> will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to
>>>>>> remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no
>>>>>> energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your
>>>>>> mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat,
>>>>>> every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in
>>>>>> this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid
>>>>>> energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the
>>>>>> pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him
>>>>>> that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles
>>>>>> whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair,
>>>>>> hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their
>>>>>> ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a
>>>>>> loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that
>>>>>> bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes,
>>>>>> that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically
>>>>>> charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our
>>>>>> energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with
>>>>>> their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that
>>>>>> flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are,
>>>>>> even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> *And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that

>>>>>>
>>>>>> they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know
>>>>>> that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the
>>>>>> conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent
>>>>>> across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence
>>>>>> and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be
>>>>>> comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the
>>>>>> conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly.
>>>>>> *
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
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