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Re: [humanism-174] Now this is mildly amusing

From: TC3
Sent on: Sunday, March 10, 2013 8:11 PM
If only it was old growth forest wood!
Jesus on a floorboard.
That's hilarious. Thank you for sharing.

On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 at 7:55 PM, Chris K <[address removed]> wrote:

Chronicle-Herald [Halifax, NS, Canada] | 8 March 2013

'Oh my God, it's Jesus' on a floorboard

Features Writer

As a carpenter, it's only natural that Jesus has chosen to return to Earth
in a pine floorboard.

While mere mortals ascend to the Jay Wells Salon by stairs, our Lord was
delivered by a crew from Hefler's lumber mill in Middle Sackville.

The visage of Jesus was covered by the bed where women lay while getting
waxed until Wells went into the room to rearrange the furniture.

"I had a staff member leave and so I came into this room thinking, hmm,
what am I going to do now, and I sat on the end of this bed and I was, 'Oh
my God, it's Jesus!'" Wells said Friday.

"People say he looks kind of surprised, and I say 'Well, he has witnessed
a lot of Brazilians, he's not your typical Jesus.'"

It was last June when Wells discovered the holy knot, but he thought it
over for a long while before deciding to go public.

"I'm a little nervous. Everybody's like, 'Oh my God, there's going to be
freaks lined up out the door,' or 'They're going to think you're crazy,'"
he said before interrupting Lisa Dunn's highlighting to show her the
15-centimetre-long image on the floor.

"Oh yes, as soon as I walked in," Dunn said, when asked if she saw Christ
in the Barrington Street salon's floorboard. "For sure."

Wells says everyone he shows the floor to immediately agrees it looks like
Jesus. He also freely admits he has told them what they're going to see,
before explaining a psychological phenomenon called pareidolia.

"It's just your brain identifying symbols. For me, it's not a religious
thing, it's just scientific really, and I take it with a grain of salt.
It's one of those things, like having a ghost story."

Wells was born Anglican and has spiritual beliefs.

"Where I go for a massage, I see Santa Claus and Abraham Lincoln in the
carpet. Most recently, I was getting my eyes checked and I could see one
of my miniature dachshunds in the carpet. It's just a thing that I've done

"Since I was a kid, I would look at the wall and see monsters in the knots
in my grandmother's cottage."

Wells hopes to get on the Ellen DeGeneres show to show her his floorboard,
then sell it on eBay.

He jokes about charging admission to see Jesus but doesn't think the
fundamentalists will come.

"Once they realize they have to get past three gays to get in there,
they'll say, 'My God, we're in hell.'"

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