I don't know if its so much "change" as it is adapt. Our circumstances
change and we have to reshape our lives and redefine our priorities...
Fifteen years ago I am 30. I have a brand new baby and I'm madly in love
with my husband. We are doing the cookie-cutter colonial, station wagon and
sheepdog perfect life and I'm on top of the world.
Three years later, I've become a single mom, the ex had a new lady and wants
nothing to do with his old life--including his daughter. I am in a new job
just barely surviving. My father passes away and my mom nearly falls apart,
so she becomes another emotional dependent, and there's no time for me to
worry about me.
Three years more: my daughter is excelling in school, mom is more stable,
the job just keeps getting better and I've met the man of my dreams. Life
is beyond my wildest expectations.
Five more years-- my soulmate dies in my arms one beautiful July morning.
Mom has been really sick and needs lots of care now. Work is getting weird
with the economy, and my office is sold to another company. I've decided to
reinvent me...go back to school and change careers. I cant consider another
partner and I need to pour that energy in to my daughter and to healing
Four years to today...I'm nearing graduation, and my daughter does graduate
from high school with an associate degree at the same time. Mom's doing
better although she still needs help, but our relationship is good. The odd
part is, though I am alone and facing the empty nest in the fall with my
child going off to school, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I
am thankful for the great experiences I've had, and the people I've met.
People who know me say how strong I must be to go through so much hardship
and loss...but I consider mine a charmed life. I know I've known love in
ways that other people will never know. I have had brushes with greatness,
and while I will never break the bank, I have been comfortable and had the
opportunity to have input on how I work and play.
Fifteen years ago, I was building toward the next thing. While I was happy,
true joy was always just over the next hurdle or to come with the next
purchase. Happiness was "getting". Today, I see that happiness is
I don't think I changed. I think I just got that "wisdom" that comes with
age. I could look back and be bitter about my divorce, or rage over losing
the finest man I ever met to a heart attack. I could pine at his graveside,
or become a neurotic supermom, or workaholic, or worse yet neglect
everything altogether. But I don't. I adapted, but I am still me.
From: [address removed] [mailto:[address removed]] On Behalf Of
Sent: Tuesday, June 23, 2009 11:33 PM
To: [address removed]
Subject: [humanism-174] Life changing events
Are you different from how you were 5, 10, 15 years ago? How so, and why?
Did you have life events that suddenly gave you a "wake up call" or did you
slowly work towards a goal for yourself and achieve it? Was it a near-miss,
a person, or a "I just can't take it any more!" moment?
How much do people really change and if they do, why?
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