Secular Ladies

Atheism has a stereotype of being a bit of a boy's club, but we know that just isn't true! Join us for a ladies afternoon. A chance to meet other secular women, discuss the issues that affect us both in the secular community and the world at large, and perhaps most importantly make some friends and have a sense of community. Snacks will be available. Anyone who identifies as female is welcome.

Here are some videos to maybe give us some ideas on what to talk about, or what we might want to do for future events: http://www.womeninsecularism.org/videos.html

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  • Allison M.

    This was an interesting experience, not sure if its the right fit since there was one comment about how many children I have. Thought this group would be a little more understanding and accepting of all women, but I guess I was wrong. Beside this, the rest of the women seems very nice, we will see if future events can be a better fit.

    1 · November 25, 2013

    • Sarah C

      I didn't attend so I don't know what someone would've said to you. However, I will say that it's heartening to find secular people who have large families. I don't have one, but they are out there.

      1 · November 29, 2013

  • KJ

    This was a great meeting! I felt so comfortable and welcome, and everyone seemed really nice. I'm so happy to have finally found a community. Thanks, Katie and Ruth for putting this together.

    3 · November 25, 2013

  • Tracy C.

    Heart warming experience to meet all these secular women and hear their stories. Looking forward to more meetups with this group.

    2 · November 25, 2013

  • Diva

    Great discussions and small chats. Looking forward to the next one!

    3 · November 24, 2013

  • Donna

    What a great group. Looking forward to more meetings.

    3 · November 23, 2013

  • Andrea

    This was my first meetup activity. And while I look forward to many mixed events, this was a very comfortable entrance into this new world. I met some great people, there was great conversation and I had a lot of fun. Especially the pillow fight! (just kidding)

    4 · November 23, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    What a great meet up today! I was so happy to be a part of the positive energy of the group. I am looking forward to getting to know each of you better. A really fantastic group of women. Thanks for putting this together.

    3 · November 23, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I met some great people and had a good time. I look forward to future meetings.

    3 · November 23, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Really like the idea of woman's only events but I'm not getting a good vibe about this Hub. I'll sit this one out and watch for some other events in the future. I sincerely hope everyone who makes the effort has a good experience.

    November 23, 2013

    • Katie

      I understand but hope to see you at another event. Most of us are pretty awesome!

      November 23, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Really bummed I can't make it. I am moving this weekend. Thought I could squeeze it in. :(

    November 23, 2013

  • Diva

    Also, I attend the "Tuesday Work from the Hub" events which seem to be mostly me and a bunch of the guys. Occasionally we are joined by another woman or two, but not often. The ratio doesn't bother me at all - I'm the kind of woman who has crashed men's parties for years - but I can see how it would make some women nervous.

    It's unfortunate, but women in our society are socialized to worry about being alone with one man we don't know well, so hanging out with five or six you've never met before can seem daunting to some. If you've ever been a victim of sexual violence, it's even worse.

    I see a ladies group as a way to get more women involved, of course, but it's also important to educate that secularism is non-judgmental, all-inclusive, the Hub is a safe environment for one and all regardless of gender, race, etc., and the stereotype of a "boy's club" is just that - a stereotype.

    Except on Tuesdays, anyway. *smile*

    2 · November 15, 2013

    • Katie

      And really, most events I've attended have had more men than women. It can be a little daunting, especially when it's a lot more men than women.

      November 15, 2013

    • Donna

      If you have crashed men's clubs then I want to meet you. Looking forward to the meeting.

      November 23, 2013

  • Chris

    Too much going on tomorrow. I hope you have other women's gatherings in the future that I would like to attend. It's time for me to meet some like-minded people who don't buy into the "imaginary male-created friend/ruling diety."

    November 22, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    My time conflict tomorrow is resolved! Great dialogue already. Looking forward to this.

    1 · November 22, 2013

  • Sarah C

    I know some guys are bummed that it's a women's event. I don't know if men are expressly forbidden to come or not.

    It's just a time for women to not to stick out like sore thumbs. I'm sure anyone whose been a minority in a society would appreciate that. I'd like to have a group for atheists with average IQs and who don't work in science or math. I won't have to be seeing, "er um" all the time. Will I be the only one there?

    November 19, 2013

    • Randall W.

      Touchee. I am truly laughing of loud. Now I am going to have to thank you, as well. I am apologizing, because I found/find much of entire thread/conversation lacking in soul, a concept which many of us don't acknowledge. Myself included. For me it lacked the acknowledgement of the human potential for empathy and compassion, with all the generalized talk about whole swaths of people. So I got frustrated and laid it on you, whether you saw it or not. You did not deserve it.

      1 · November 21, 2013

    • Sarah C

      Randall, I didn't take anything you said as being directed at me in particular. I had not read your comments re: Mile High Church until now, so now I have more of a clue. I'm not familiar with that place, but that it's sort of a "woo" church. I'm not into woo, but most of my female friends are & that's a whole 'nother conversation. I think a lot of males (and female defenders) are feeling excluded by Secular Ladies, and they are. No one likes to be excluded. I suppose you could show up and see what happens. But like anything, people form groups based on common interests and this is an example of that. I don't know if I'll go, but the thread has been so long that it obviously struck a nerve, which makes this group more compelling. Personally, I would've called it the "Beyond Menstruation Group." I guarantee you no man would complain about being excluded from that.

      November 21, 2013

  • Lauren B.

    Please do this again! I won't be able to make Saturday's meet up but I would love to go to another one like it. Have fun, ladies!

    1 · November 21, 2013

  • KJ

    Regarding the "exclusion" of male identifying atheists:

    I think it would be great if we lived in a totally inclusive society, and perhaps one day we will. BUT the fact remains that we don't. Sexism exists. It's not absent from the atheist movement, and women still deserve safe spaces where they can talk freely. It's not a zero sum game here. Men don't lose something if women do this. There's nothing to defend or argue about. It's not upsetting "inclusivity" to have safe spaces. In fact, it helps with inclusivity by allowing people who have been traditionally marginalized to have a safe space to talk and to deal with the imbalances outside of that safe space. This will be my first meetup with the Denver Atheists. And since I typically feel more comfortable with women I don't know versus unfamiliar men, I was pretty happy to find this particular meeting. I also look forward to meeting everyone else (men included) at other meetups in the future.

    Just my 2 cents.

    2 · November 20, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      Well said! Hope to see you at one of the many other Atheist meetups too.

      2 · November 20, 2013

  • Linda R.

    Men should be invited. Assuming that atheist women can only talk openly among other women is a rather curious assumption that characterizes women as weak. If there was a men-only meeting, I would crash it. What, indeed, affects women that is not also the concern of men? The availability of Tampons in public loos?

    1 · November 18, 2013

    • Katie

      Linda, A few weeks ago, the Board held a meeting, open to everyone, to share ideas on what sort of future events we'd all like to see. When I suggested this, it was met with enthusiasm and I was given the go ahead. There has been a lot of interest and excitement for this meeting. I don't feel anything else I say will change your opinion, and I won't argue for arguments sake. If you want to come and see what goes on, come. If you are so opposed to it, then don't come.

      November 20, 2013

    • Linda R.

      I don't care if every Denver Atheist approves, it the exclusionary nature of this meeting that remains disturbing. If you want an exclusionary meeting, it should be private affair, as in a home or restaurant, with invitees. But to have a public meeting and then exclude a certain sector of society, based on some aspect of their biology, is just wrong. "This is all that needs to be said about this issue now." I think I was being told to shut up.
      "If you are so opposed to it, then don't come." Really.

      November 20, 2013

  • Randall W.

    At this point just to be crystal clear, speaking as one person, I have NO issue with women or families with children meeting as sub-groups. I reacted to Katie mentioning "Boys Club" in her invite prod cast to everyone for women's only meeting. Boys Clubs by my definition are boys colluding to exert formal (golf club in Georgia) or informal power, status, and inclusion/exclusion on the potential membership of a group.

    November 20, 2013

    • Randall W.

      Katie,

      November 20, 2013

    • Randall W.

      Katie, I am loosing the sequence of who said what first and what followed. In point of fact I got your light hearted aspect. What has followed has been Not Lighthearted, but is not bad, and you did ascribe agreement. I am so relieved you do not think there is a boy's club, but then you are one person. Look at all of this passion, exhibited sense of justice, statements of belief, stands taken, positions held and challenged. Lots of fierce culture warrior women. This is not bad, bend it to good where it is out of kilter. So much energy. We all need to take our kindness pills. I can't tell if anyone is actually listening to the only guy talking, so here I am proving Beverly and others right in realizing isolation. Have a great meeting and I hope I hear that there is consensus on their not being a Boys Club.

      November 20, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I can only speak for myslef but I am excited for Saturday so I can have a break from being wife and mommy. Sometimes it is nice to get a break. It is kinda of a "girls night out" kind of event for me. We all just happen to be athiest.

    November 20, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I agree with Linda but only if I'm the only male invited ;) I like those odds. A bunch of intelligent, witty, thoughtful, curious, funny, spontaneous, free thinking women and I? Ohh my sounds like a great day!

    I'll be a fly on the wall, do my best to learn about some of the new rules that are about to be issued in order to confuse men, hear what women talk about when they go to the bathroom, gleam Christmas ideas for items to avoid and ones to try and get, and maybe even learn more about the nomenclature when it comes to nicknaming men. Like Mr. black hat, or Mr. Brown bag, Mr. 760, or Mr. Smells good. I will do my best to try and listen through the graphic and humbling detail when the conversation goes to sex. Guys, I promise to lie to you where appropriate.


    So please don't let a all males in, just me if you are going to let any at all. What would be the point of having a Women's group if a bunch of guys dilute the mix so much that it's like any other coed meetup?

    November 20, 2013

  • Diva

    Removing gender identity and race from the discussion, would it be considered exclusionary if secular parents decided to form a group and meet occasionally? How about people who are adopted, or a grief group for those who have lost a parent?

    Just because you want to share experiences with people who have something more in common with you than your skeptic/atheist/humanist side doesn't mean you want to exclude the rest of the group. We are social creatures and we look for people who share a common experience, including secularism, but sometimes we feel the need to go a bit deeper.

    3 · November 15, 2013

    • Linda R.

      "...doesn't mean you want to exclude the rest of the group"

      So everyone is invited to Saturday's meeting?

      November 20, 2013

    • Katie

      No. This first, introductory meeting is only for those who identify as female.

      November 20, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    This sounds great! Count me it.

    1 · November 17, 2013

  • Randall W.

    Katie,
    I mean no disrespect in anything I am going to say here.
    As a life long possessor of a penis I cannot come at the question of
    "Atheism as a boy's club" from any other perspective. So however that limits me I guess I stand limited. I find this assertion of such a stereotype curious. Given the extreme misogyny involved in all major religions, and atheism being the rejection of all them, I would think Atheism as a secular movement would have the strong potential for being the opposite of a boys club. Is this "boys club" stereotype a perception of atheist women, or a label of the religious onto Atheists, or something else? What do you mean when you say "but we know it isn't true"?

    November 14, 2013

    • Randall W.

      Beverly, again thanks for your clarifications. I truly do hear what you are saying, I see your points. That being said, I do not and will not own your assertion that I would not want to belong to a group of all women or dark skinned humans. For example a Secular or Atheist group. Further I do not say that in judgment of you or anyone else!! I am projecting the person I want to be. I realize I am being idealistic, and you have spoken to your experience with reality, and experience with what actually worked towards getting women and minorities involved.

      November 15, 2013

    • Randall W.

      Beverly, I look forward to actually meeting you, not sure that we have. I have only become involved in recent months, not sure anyone actually knows me by name. lol.

      November 15, 2013

  • KJ

    Hi. I'm new to this group and new to Denver. I really look forward to meeting all of you.

    1 · November 15, 2013

  • Kadry

    Great idea! Unfortunately I am working this day, but hopefully I can come to future events.

    November 14, 2013

  • Monica

    Uteri unite!
    <tee hee>

    2 · November 14, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I'm in! Thanks for creating this meetup, I really look forward to it.

    1 · November 14, 2013

  • Paula V.

    I would love to come, however its my bday. I'll keep track and definitely make one of the meetings.

    November 14, 2013

  • Margo

    Wish I could make it but I have a dog training class then :(

    November 14, 2013

    • Katie

      I'm hoping this will be the first of a regular thing, so I hope you can make the next one!

      November 14, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Ha! This is likely to become the most coveted group by Atheist men.

    2 · November 14, 2013

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