Primarily for those looking for a critique group, but everybody's welcome. If you'd like to bring work, the best way is to upload a file (directions in comments section).
We'll meet at the Pavilion.
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0 · September 22, 2012
Next one posted here: http://www.meetup.com/dubaiwriters/events/82619182/
0 · September 16, 2012
Hi Heidi, I would like to thank you for doing what is basically a thankless job. One needs selfless devotion and discipline. Nanios did it for so many years. Although I could not make it to both the recent meetups I wish you good luck and may your tribe grow.
Mahendra, I totally agree with you.Thanks so much Heidi for taking this up. Look forward to seeing you in the next critiques meetup. :-)
Need another RSVP before the thing's posted to the main site.
Hi Heidi, the top of this page says this site will close in 12 days for want of an organizer. Are you leaving or is there another person who is the 'organizer' who has left? I am sure a large majority would join me in urging you to take over the organizer role, if in case you are not leaving.
0 · September 17, 2012
For those worrying about this, I have talked to Will, he's still organizing so this SHOULD be sorted soon.
0 · September 20, 2012
Hi Heidi, you posted a story on the meetup site last fortnight and I commented on it. By a coincidence I read a story that has the same theme and I thought you may enjoy reading it.
The story is by the great master Jorge Luis Borges and a reading copy is here:
0 · September 19, 2012
Hey thanks, I'll have a look at it soon!
Good; Moosa, food for thought.
Another great evening. Thanks for the honest comments!
0 · September 15, 2012
alright guys i finally posted my very first file....it isn't that much, just a couple of pages, the book is called "our journey to heaven"...hope i get some readers so i could feel important tonight
0 · September 13, 2012
please kindly bring a copy of the 10 pages you have uploaded if possible.i was reading your work in between work and couldnt finish all of it,if you turn up today,you will recieve a brutal review.now dont tell me i didnt warn you.
Thanks for the heads up moosa, i would really love to join you guys however im currently living in muscat, is there any chance you liked the book ?
thats unfortunate indeed.i am sorry to say the subject that you deal with in the book havent been thought out well enough as it can be ripped apart on an intellectual scale by a better mind.a few of the loop holes i found are here "..no feel of hunger, mess and confsion..." if there is no concept of hunger then what is hunger? if there isnt a feeling of hunger does the concept even exist?. "curiosity helps drive...." then what drives curiosity?.creature of independent thought?...define the concept of independece and tell me are you really independent?i mean like seriously are we?no we are not,freedom is a state of mind and is merely an illusion my friend,the meaning of independence/freedom is different for different people,its only a matter of perspective.
"....humans tremble and fall easy for temptations..money power sex and drugs" its called greed and greed is what drives curiosity, the need for more and drugs you say,if you havent experimented with drugs,you got no right to talk about it:P"humans obey blindly" humans my friend are animals just like how animals have the alpha that leads the pack and the rest that follows humans have their own system of leadership and control,its called democracy, monarchy etc and why do they obey? maybe is a better question
i could go on and on and i find your work shallow in terms of thought and even language*that could always be worked on* you should shelf this work of yours not delete it and start reading and read and read and try understand the world a lot more,think a lot more you are at the first step of enlightenment as the questions you ask is something i asked and explored myself many years back*when i was a kid actually* i could try drill what all i have understood into you,but that will never stick,you have to find your own path and you have a long way to go,get back to this book after you have feel you have reached a better state of enlightenment. best of luck.once again,are you reading enough?*forgive me if i come across as rude*
Ahahaha how ironic, you proved my point in nearly every aspect........lets go on with your first comment, you say if the feel of hunger isnt there, does the concept of hunger even exist ? To answer that we use the good old well known question "if a tree falls in a forest, and theres no one to hear, does it still make a sound?"
You also said....curiousity drives....then what drives curiousity ?........this might be a bit offensive however thats quite a stupid question...since curiousity it self is a "DRIVE" ....try and keep up bro
Then you go on saying "are we really independent, no we are not"...i might be high..but didnt you just answer your self ?......negative fallacy...something you should look up
Drugz....hmm i see you managed to conclude your statements based on assumptions...you simply assumed i havent had my share of drugs, you also failed to notice that drugs isnt simply what you see in movies...lets not forget...hospitals...fast food joints...pharmacies...soft drinks....heck..the list goes on buddy
You got a lot of hypothesis in your comments...lets not change hypothesis into fact....remember what socrates once said "the only thing i know, i know nothing"
Now i leave you with this question....who created god ?
Btw i wrote this when i was 18....thanks for the review budd
despite my best intentions, i will not be able to print out my story -- if you have read, i would love your feedback, if not, i hope to give you some :) see you guys soon
Hi All, I uploaded a story with a message attached, but I don't see the message here. So I guess I need to post here separately. Please read and critique it - I need the non-myopic outsiders view.
0 · September 12, 2012
Hi Mahendra, I read your story and liked it. It captures a very poignant moment in time when two ex-lovers meet. You've brought out the thoughts and feelings of Gail very well, and done a very skilful flashback too. This could well be the beginning of a longer novel rather than a short story. My main comment would be an excessive use of words, or rather verbosity. For example, the para "When he turned.....smiled and waved." I think this could be improved, as it seems (to me) a bit confusing. What do you mean by "it took only a few seconds for the heavy stillness to set in." Also, I feel the ending is a bit too hurried- if both of them had so many feelings for each other, how could they accept the finality of their situation so easily and suddenly? I think something more is required. This is jsut my opinion. But I enjoyed your story- tnx for sharing!
Hi Padmini, we'll discuss the points you raise - they are important points. Originally I had two more lines-"You look so radiant Gail" "Yes. I am pregnant" --but my friends asked me to drop them as the story was complete without those lines.
i read your story,got to say i loved it.there is a need to edit the starting few paragraphs.you will need to cut the sentences to pieces,since this is evidently a first draft the lack of full stops could be forgiven:) .the thought process of a woman is one of the most difficult of things to actually understand but to write it down with a flow is a totally different matter that needs certain skill and you my friend have that skill,i will you that.you must rework on this to refine it and make it more appleaing to read,there is a lot of room for agressive improvement.but does this have content enough to be made into a novel? no, that relationship will lead to nowhere,thats just my opinion. its beauiful the way it is, if you add more conent this piece of art may tranced to the mainstream.
Hi Mithun, you have a good point there. Nowadays editors frown upon liberal use of colons and semi-colons; most readers cannot remember which is supposed to do what. Current preference is for robust sentences that stand on their own. I will rewrite this - although it will break my old teenage heart -since it was written when I was 18- not to show off the prose pyrotechnics. But no one will publish this self conscious piece. I must say I love this vigorous give and take in the group - much needed-- I hope it can be sustained.
Hi everybody! I've uploaded the first two chapters of my family history, called The Family from Padma Vilas. I I'll be bringing copies for sure when we meet this Sat, 15th September, at the Pavilion. But do try to read it before- I'd really appreciate your comments on how to improve it. Thanks! :-)
PS: Please don't be put off by the words "family history" - it's not so boring as it sounds, or at least I hope not! :-))
0 · September 9, 2012
Padmini, I could not find your upload. Could you help where to locate it?
Mahendra, go to the Meetup website: http://www.meetup.com... go to the MORE icon, and in that you'll find files. Click on Files, and you'll find my entry there. (The Family from Padma Vilas). Hope this helps!
Hi Padmini, I read the chapters and I think you have the making of a good book. The passage of time is very well articulated. There are some suggestions I can make-- currently it reads neither like a memoir or history. Your often repeated "it seems" makes it unsure. It might be better to assume the reader knows it is not history - that is not corroborated --and move on from there. The other suggestion is if you bring too many characters too quickly the reader will need a pad to keep track.( I am assuming it is for publication and not just for the family).
Hi Mahendra; I really appreciate your honest comments on my chapters. Thank you. To answer the first question, this is supposed to be a family history, and was originally intended for the eyes of my family, but now I've changed my mind as I think it may be of interest to other people too, (or I hope it does!). I know- even I'm not too comfortable with "it seems". Maybe I'll follow your suggestion and makeit clear to the reader that many things are just hearsay right from the start, and dispense with the "It seems."
Wow dubai is amazing wish we had such excitment towards writing here in oman, anyways uh i wrote a book that answers questions like who created god, why did god create man, what is time and stuff like that....i hope i get a chance to spill out a little of my book Thanks
Location changed to the Pavilion based on the fact it'll be open past 10. :)
hopefully i will be able to find my way:) keep your phone ready heidi i will call when lost.
0 · September 10, 2012
Hi Heidi. Does this place have free wi-fi?
No idea tbh. http://pavilion.ae/
May I suggest we meet at Make in Dubai Marina ? http://makebusinesshub.com/we-are/
I think if it is only 8 of us, it will be feasible. I have never been there before but heard great things about it -- and it is not too far off from the JLT metro stop on the Dubai Marina side (maybe a 10 minute walk or a 5 minute taxi ride)--
Also, I will print out the first four chapters of my novel for everyone to read -- I think it is best if we focus on one chapter at a time for me. If you get a chance to read it beforehand, please do. I need all the help I can get and I would love your input.
I tried checking out the map to know the exact location but its not working at the moment,could you have a look at it again and try fix it? The place does looks promising on the web link and I hope their coffee is as good as they promise it to be.Do upload the four chapters, I will have a look at it.Print outs are most welcome.
Please try this -- it works for me -- http://makebusinesshu...
This looks about the same walking distance from the metro as the Pavilion is.
I'm a little confused though, do we have to pay them to use one of the areas?
Heidi, I don't believe you have to pay to use the space, but I did email them to see if we have to reserve the space (if we even can) or if there is anything that they do require from us -- or if they can even really accomodate 12 of us (as a max).
Hm they're only open til 10 and we frequently run late. The pavilion is open until 12 so I'm going to move us to there
which metro stop for the pavilion ? I think we should vote on the location and time next time we meet, if you dont mind -- i live in dubai marina-- i would much prefer to go to a spot nearer to home esp since i dont have a car :) at least every other time or so -- maybe we can meet earlier, like 7pm or so and then we will not go over 10pm.
Dubai mall I assume. We can discuss locations at the meetup. ;)
fair enough ;)
Also, for those who want to post something for us to read ahead of time, go to:http://www.meetup.com/dubaiwriters/files/edit/upload your file, make SURE you make it available only to other meetup members, and then post the link here.
Heidi changed the location from The MAKE Business Hub to The Pavilion Downtown Dubai
September 9, 2012
Rima Ruhman changed the location to The MAKE Business Hub
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