The Minneapolis Ex-Jehovah's Witness "ALPHA" Meetup Group Message Board › Success beyond the JW's
"It is better to make someone think, than it is, to make them believe." -Unknown.
As the years have past since I left the organization I look back and see the transformation and redefinition of my world. While it was not a simple task, I have never regretted it for a fraction of a second. The rewards have been beyond what I could have ever imagined. It was a integral part of that process for me to find out what I wanted. When I figured it out, I learn I had the will to go and get it. The process has never stopped.
Anthony Robbins 10 points.
A memorable one-liner is, "the only thing that's keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself".If you cut out the hype, the simple message is if you believe in yourself enough you can achieve anything.
Ask anyone and most people will admit they lack confidence in some areas of their life. The interesting thing I learned from this seminar is that this self-doubt is around universal themes. These themes cross age, gender, religious, cultural and language barriers.
Common doubts include 'I am not good enough', 'I am lazy' and 'No-one loves me'.
Robbins calls it 'immersion' where you break old patterns and build new ones by repetition. He uses a lot of Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques to achieve this with his audiences. He says "progress is not automatic". A memorable moment in the seminar was when we had to visualize ourselves inside a bubble and inside that bubble was a series of videotapes neatly arranged in a time-line that represented all our memories in our lives so far. We had to pull out the negative videotapes and destroy them. This was followed by time spent visualizing the future and how your life will look 10 and 20 years from now.
The Robbins message was that 3 things shape our self-belief. He calls them the Triad. These are our patterns of physiology, focus and language or meaning. He highlighted this with the quote: "where focus goes energy flows".
Robbins believes you can "vanquish whatever is holding you back from taking action".
Walking barefoot across a bed of glowing coals is the physical metaphor he uses in his seminars to prove this point to the skeptics. Eliminate negative self-belief and take massive action are his keys to success.
"Where focus goes energy flows" is a quote used by Robbins in his presentation to highlight why you need to know your outcome and why achieving this is a must. But many people fail to take the next step. They delay, put off and find many reasons or excuses not to act.
Robbins believes "progress is not automatic" and "action is power". Take action, even if it is the wrong action. He says it is "never a failure if you learn something".
Robbins spent a fair amount of time in the seminar talking about and demonstrating interpersonal communication skills. He used people from the audience to show how the process of "matching and mirroring" the non-verbal communication and body language of others can be a very powerful way to connect with people. In essence, you create rapport by adopting the body language of the person you are communicating with. He believes "rapport is power" and "total responsiveness is created by a feeling of commonality". If you have learned these techniques before and haven't used them for a while, I suggest it is time to dust them off and put them into action next time you are communicating with someone on a one-to-one basis.
Robbins believes that "to have an extraordinary quality of life you need two skills: the science of achievement (the ability to take anything you envision and make it real) and the art of fulfillment (this allows you to enjoy every moment of it)."
He says "success without fulfillment is failure".
Find your passion and purpose in life. My purpose is to make a difference in people's lives and use my gift as a speaker.
To gain improvements quickly and step up to a new level of achievement, Robbins believes learning from others who are the best in their field is the fastest way to achieve success.
He told the story of how he wanted to improve his tennis game and so employed Andre Agassi, the then number one ranked player to help him achieve this. Who could you model yourself on? "People's lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group," according to Robbins.
If you are not healthy - all of the above points are a waste of time.
Your health is determined and influenced by your lifestyle. One major change I've made since the seminar is to eat a healthier diet and exercise more regularly. As a speaker, my whole business depends on my ability to perform at a peak state. Like any professional athlete, the success of business is directly linked to my diet and health. Take care of yourself, your body is ultimately your most important asset.
Edited by Joel on Apr 17, 2007 9:54 PM
James C. Graves, Jr.
1.) Be at least as kind and polite to yourself as you are to others. This means you have to pay more attention to your own internal dialogue. No cussing or calling yourself stupid. This subject deserves a whole book.
2.) Learn to tell the difference between what you want and what you need.
3.) Your emotions are valid, and you should never try to deny them. And you can't suppress them either. Anytime someone says to you: "You shouldn't feel...", they're wrong.
4.) In regards to the above, however, that doesn't mean that you should necessarily act out based on your emotions. You need to be able to stop and think instead of just reacting all the time. That's the difference between us and animals. It is one thing to be angry, it is another to lose your temper.
5.) Take charge of your life, for now and for ever. Read "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey or something similar. Yes, yes, I know: it's the same stuff everyone already knows. But many people (including myself) need to be reminded of it, and make it a conscious part of their lives.
6.) Try to remain child-like without being childish. That means trying to retain a sense of wonder... to see the world with fresh eyes.
7.) Second chances are rare. Try to make the most of the chances you do have.
8.) Trying to break a bad habit (like smoking), or start a good one (like daily exercise) is hard. That's why they're called habits. It takes time, and lots of effort to change. You can't just change your behavior in one day. You have to try today, tomorrow, next week and next year. You'll still fail a lot. Over time it will get easier, but not quickly. But that's OK, that's the way it's supposed to be.
... and on a related note: You can't change other people. Even if you could, they'd probably resent it afterwards.
9.) Long term happiness and peace of mind is not something that just happens to you. It's not something your environment or other people can provide. You must make conscious decision to pursue these goals, with vigor and determination.
10.) True love (and thereby a long-term relationship) is founded upon respect. Attraction and lust are not bad things (contrary to what some moralists might say), but that's not nearly enough.
I1.) It is not that the best things in life are free, it is just that the best things in life can't be paid for with money. There is always a price however...
12.) Don't confuse aggressiveness with strength; don't confuse passivity with weakness.
13.) Don't borrow trouble. More than enough will come your way, without you having to dig up more.
14.) Pride will cause you a lot of grief. I'm not saying it is a sin or anything, this is just a warning.
15.) Learn Yoga. Or Tai-Chi. Or heck, even line-dancing. Anything which will make you more aware of your own body, and what you can do.
16.) One of the keys to maturity is to match your ambition to your energy level. (a.k.a "Don't bite off more than you can chew.")
17.) The answer to your problem is usually right in front of you, but you probably lack the perspective to see it.
18.) Giving orders is not the same thing as leadership.
19.) From Paul Graham: "If you think something's supposed to hurt, you're less likely to notice if you're doing it wrong."
20.) Another PG one: "Constraints give your life shape."
Stephen R. Covey
1.) You can either be proactive or reactive when it comes to how you act about certain things. Being "proactive" means taking responsibility for everything in life. When you're reactive, you blame other people and circumstances for obstacles or problems. Initiative, and taking action will then follow. Covey shows how man is different from animals in that he has self consciousness. He has the ability to detach himself and observe his own self, think about his thoughts. He goes on to say how this attribute enables him. It gives him the power not to be affected by his circumstances.
2.) Begin with the End In Mind. This chapter is about setting long-term goals based on "true-north principles". Covey recommends to formulate a "personal mission statement" to document one's perception of one's own purpose in life.
3.) Put first things first. Here, Covey describes a framework for prioritizing work that is aimed at long-term goals, at the expense of tasks that appear to be urgent, but are in fact less important. Delegation is presented as an important part of time management. Successful delegation, according to Covey, focuses on results and benchmarks that are to be agreed in advance, rather than on prescribing detailed work plans.
4.) Think Win/Win describes an attitude whereby mutually beneficial solutions are sought, that satisfy the needs of oneself as well as others, or, in the case of a conflict, both parties involved.
5.) Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. Covey warns that giving out advice before having empathetically understood a person and their situation will likely result in that advice being rejected. Thoroughly listening to another person's concerns instead of reading out your own autobiography is purported to increase the chance of establishing a working communication.
6.) Synergize describes a way of working in teams. Apply effective problem solving. Apply collaborative decision making. Value differences. Build on divergent strengths. Leverage creative collaboration. Embrace and leverage innovation. It is put forth that, when this is pursued as a habit, the result of the teamwork will exceed the sum of what each of the members could have achieved on their own. ?The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.?
7.) Sharpen the saw focuses on balanced self-renewal. Regaining what Covey calls "productive capacity" by engaging in carefully selected recreational activities.
Edited by Joel on Apr 17, 2007 10:08 PM
I love the sentiments included in this post.
Most people will just think that it is a longer post and miss the gold in it.
Examples from above that "speak" to me:
Second chances are rare. Try to make the most of the chances you do have.
Trying to break a bad habit or start a good one is hard. That's why they're called habits. It takes time, and lots of effort to change. You can't just change your behavior in one day. You have to try today, tomorrow, next week and next year. You'll still fail a lot. Over time it will get easier, but not quickly. But that's OK, that's the way it's supposed to be.
............ and on a related note: You can't change other people. Even if you could, they'd probably resent it afterwards.
True love (and thereby a long-term relationship) is founded upon respect. Attraction and lust are not bad things (contrary to what some moralists might say), but that's not nearly enough.
It is not that the best things in life are free, it is just that the best things in life can't be paid for with money. There is always a price however...