Who is lurking in the shadows of our psyche? Best friends? Bad influences? (GOOD FUN!) Role models? Siblings? Children? Parents? Those we love, loathe and lust after the most? What about partners and primary relationships?
We do slick rounds of questions, listen to ourselves and one another, get real, hang out, have a laugh. We often get into a topic early on and only one round is done. The funniest, most embarrassing stories can provide the most valuable insights!
The name of the game is self awareness. No one tells anyone else what to, or what not to do. We share our thoughts and experiences and respectfully challenge one another.
The middle name (of the game) is hanging out with other blokes. Clean male company, comparing notes and having a laugh. Not a therapy group, our space is more a quick, slick check-in, providing invaluable insights for daily life.
The surname is Bond (no, not James!) With the depth and same-sidedness we naturally slip into, it would be weird not to. This is where a load of blokes can get together and be on the same side with what we have in common.
OPEN GROUPS: (open to whoever wants to come, pay as you come - a good taster without commitment)
2nd Monday of the month - 6.45pm for a 7pm start. Doors close 7.10pm. 9.30pm ends. £15 (£10)
CLOSED GROUPS: (sit with the same men for a term of six months, paid in advance - this is where it's at! )
Please ask for details if you are interested and have attended at least one Open Group.
9+ years & going strong!
OUR CURRENT GROUND RULES
(i) CONFIDENTIALITY
Traditionally ‘what is said in the room stays in the room’. The important thing is that no one from the group can be identified by what we say outside of the room. We may discuss our own process or briefly refer to something said by another person if it might be helpful. We could frame it by saying it was “something I saw on TV’”, or “my friend said”, etc.
(ii) RESPECT
Respect in this group means to listen to others when they speak, and be aware of how you are behaving. Treat others in a way you would expect to be treated by them. Respect of other people naturally follows on from self-respect, as lack of self-respect will reflect in lack of respect for others.
(iii) TAKE PART
Be honest when it’s your turn to speak and rather than perform, get involved in meaningless banter, or lie because you can’t think of anything to add, just say “Pass”. Telling the truth and sharing your self gives everyone else in the room permission to do the same and builds up all our courage.
(iv) BE HONEST
Be honest about your own feelings and choose honest words to describe them. Honesty sheds a little more light on what we are saying and helps each of us to understand why we are here. Honesty stops us blaming others and helps turn things around in our lives, learning from our experiences as we go.
(v) OWN IT
“I” statements, rather than “you”, “one”, “we”, etc. What is being said by you may not be true for all present. Depersonalising is often a way of avoiding ownership of an experience, opinion, or issue.
(vi) DON’T BULLY
Neither aggressive, nor passive-aggressive bullying is an option here. No one’s safety is to be compromised. This is a place where men can learn how to challenge or disagree with another man clearly, honestly, honourably and with respect.
(vii) DON’T VAMP OR STEAL
When a man is telling his story, allow him the space to do so, as it may be the first time he has had the opportunity or courage to share and be heard. Don’t jump in and comment on how good, bad or ugly it is. Don’t steer his words, boost his drama, or upstage him with a more dramatic story. Space and time to speak and be listened to gives us all an opportunity to work through the issues we have brought to this room, so we may all benefit. This is a space in which we may be witnessed in our authenticity.
(viii) EXPERIMENT WITH WHO YOU ARE
You may be well known by others as a joker, a peacemaker, shy or confident, introvert or extrovert. We may agree with them but this group encourages us to experiment with those roles, allowing the hidden parts of ourselves some freedom. We can try new roles on and feel how authentic they are; with the option of asking for feedback.
(ix) STAY UNTIL THE END
If something said by another makes you feel uncomfortable, angry, sad, etc. don’t leave early but name the feeling and hold it until you have an opportunity to explore it. Accept how you feel and try to work it though with the group, rather than taking it away with you and allowing it’s power to overshadow you. Then we all might learn something valuable from you and you’ll probably leave the room much lighter too.
(x) LIVE BEYOND THE RULES
Playing small to ‘be good’ in the group would be less valuable than playing big and growing within the group. That’s not to say ‘break the rules’ but it is to say play big enough that you may be challenged and we may all grow in awareness and life choices from our time together. Courage and respect sometimes means taking risks, and hopefully you will be supported in that moment.
Disclaimer: All activities are undertaken entirely at the participant risk and no responsibility can be taken for any physical, mental or emotional injury suffered by any participant. By taking part each participant accepts full responsibility for his safety and well-being. If in doubt, please seek professional advice before participating.
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