I didn't think 2013 was that great a year for movies, and most of my favorites were released so early in the year that the Academy seems to have forgotten them altogether when it came time for nominations. What is this - the December Oscars? So here are my Contrarian Awards:
Best Picture: "Blue is the Warmest Color"
Best Actor: Matthew McConaughey - "Mud"
Best Actress: Adèle Exarchopoulos - "Blue is the Warmest Color"
Best Supporting Actor: Matthew Goode - "Stoker"
Best Supporting Actress: Léa Seydoux - "Blue is the Warmest Color"
Best Director: Park Chan-wook - "Stoker"
Best Song: "Duet" by Philip Glass - "Stoker" (yeah, I know - it isn't a "song." But it deserves an award anyway)
Best Original Screenplay: "Don Jon" by Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Best Adapted Screenplay: "Blue is the Warmest Color" by Abdellatif Kechiche & Ghalia Lacroix, based on the graphic novel by Julie Maroh
Best Editing: Nicolas De Toth - "Stoker"
Best Foreign Film (excluding "Blue is the Warmest Color"): "Wadjda" (Saudi Arabia)
Best "Bang for the Buck" (special award for best low-budget picture): "Short Term 12"
Worst Accent (aka, "The Meryl Sheep"): Tom Hanks - "Captain Phillips"
Worst Self-Indulgence (aka, "The Ken Russell"): Martin Scorsese - "The Wolf of Wall Street"
Worst Makeup (aka, "The Yunioshi"): "The Butler"
I'm being a little pissy here. I thought "Her" was awfully good, and Cate Blanchett was astonishing in "Blue Jasmine" even though the rest of the movie was so-so. And Jared Leto was terrific in "Dallas Buyer Club." And I loved the photography in "Llweyn Davis." "American Hustle" was fun, but it was kind of a mess and doesn't really deserve anything except maybe a special award for the first minutes when Christian Bale was doing his hair. "Wolf of Wall Street" was about an hour and a half too long and doesn't deserve anything. (Sorry, Marty - your s**t still stinks.) "Gravity" should get a bunch of technical awards, but doesn't deserve anything else, especially anything having to do with story or acting. And I'm disqualifying myself from voting on "12 Years a Slave" because I literally sat in the parking lot and finished the book before walking into the theater to see the movie - bad idea! It was probably terrific and will probably get a lot of awards and probably deserves them. But frankly, I'd take "Blue is the Warmest Color," "Stoker" and "Don Jon" over any of the movies nominated this year. Except maybe "Her."