In the middle of making a green smoothie, I had a painful thought come up, and I sensed that it was more than just a thought. I sensed that it was an unconscious limiting belief from my childhood.
“I am not attractive to women because I am short.”
So, I sat down, got really present, really looked at this thought, fully felt the feeling, and asked myself:
“Where does this come from? What’s the first memory, the first event, that caused me to believe that?”
It took a while but the memory surfaced eventually — vague visions of my parents being worried with just the very same thought I had: “He may not be attractive to women because of the way he was born.”
Then more painful thoughts came up:”I come from a family of tall people. My parents are tall. Two of my three brothers are almost 6-foot tall. So why me? Why the fuck was I born this way?”
There was an angry thought. I saw a pissed-off thought. But what really pissed me off was that the thought expressed itself, not as anger, but as hurt and sadness, and so, there was another layer — suppressed anger. And the thought that I had suppressed my anger so much, or that I should be angry too, instead of just hurt and sadness, hurt even more. And then even more angry and painful, hurtful thoughts and emotions arose.
It was so interesting to watch this domino of thoughts and emotions arise, and to see the effect it had on me, and to see the effects the limiting belief above has had on my life.
The visions were so vague, not even sure those were the exact words my parents spoke verbally to each other, or just thoughts they had that I sensed from them. But the message and programming and feelings embedded in them were clear.
But it’s so nice to finally separate their thoughts and beliefs they had way back in time from my current thoughts and beliefs in the Now. I am not their thoughts and beliefs. Heck! I am not even my thoughts and beliefs! But they do influence every bit of my behavior, which is why it’s so important to differentiate between the two, and then to remove these beliefs from my life, and to see that those events had no meaning, and that every event when I thought this belief was true — the belief/meaning never actually happened, because the event had multiple meanings, and therefore, no meaning, and that just because they believed it or felt it then or were worried about it then doesn't mean it’s true now.
Do you see now why I am so passionate about this work of being present, feeling my feelings, and removing limiting beliefs and negative programming from childhood?
Because it’s so liberating!
If you are inspired by this story to remove your own limiting beliefs, especially those that are blocking you from having the kind of life that you want to have - beliefs such as your fear of failure or even fear of success, or beliefs like "Rejection is bad" or "I am not good enough" or "I don't matter" - then I have got great news for you!
I am teaching a class this upcoming Tuesday on doing just that! At least one of you will walk away from this class having removed at least one big negative belief or programming from your childhood, and this will empower you to create an amazing life.
Investment in yourself: $30 at the door. $15 if you call the venue in advance and pre-register. Call the following number: (949)[masked] and pre-pay. Thanks. It's at the School of Multidimensional Healing Arts and Sciences in Irvine.
When you call, let them know that you wish to pre-register and pre-pay $15 for Kundan's November 26th event on removing the lies holding you back. Thanks.
So, how does removing limiting beliefs empower you to have an awesome life?
My next story gives you an idea. I removed the above limiting belief on Wednesday morning. I had the following experience on Friday night, just two days later:
THIS is what it's like to live life from Presence:
Life After Removing Limiting beliefs
From my journal 11/22/2013
THE ECSTASY OF DANCING WITH THE PRESENCE:
The Most Enjoyable, Incredible Night of Partner Dancing Ever.
I was enjoying being present in my room today, being still. The feeling was so beautiful I was reluctant to go swing dancing today at first, but I went anyways.
At first, I was following my usual pattern of choosing dance partners, but soon, I became more and more present. As I became more and more present, I became more and more picky about who to dance with — although picky is really my Robot-self’s choice of words because it likes to to feel superior and special, but it wasn’t even about being picky. It was more like: “Is this choice of dance partner at this moment in time for the highest good of all? Is this going to benefit her, benefit me, and benefit the energy of the entire dance floor?” If the answer was yes, I’d dance with her, and if no, I did not. But it wasn’t even like I was verbally or mentally asking myself that question. It was more like I was being in tune with the energy, the Presence inside me, and if my energy was in tune with her, and if our in-tune-ment was also in tune with the energy of the ballroom, I’d dance with her. It was more like I was feeling the Yes and No in my body and energy field, rather than verbally asking any question. I was in tune with both the energy of the question and the energy of the answer. That was it. I was also in tune with the energy field of the woman I was about to ask to dance — there was that aspect too. If I wasn’t feeling it, I wouldn’t dance with her, and if I felt the Yes-Field of the Highest Good of All, then I’d go ask.
At first, I felt sadness arise in me regarding this because
(1)it seemed to mean that there was a limited number of women I’d be dancing with,
(2) there was a tiny bit of mourning or grief at the loss of my Robot-self’s old patterns,
but the more I danced with the right women, the more quiet ecstasy I felt. Indeed, there were even times I felt like just sitting down by myself, just enjoying the flow of energy in my body and energy field — I enjoyed the ecstasy so much I’d be moved to quiet tears of joy.
This reminds me of my earlier post — that I’d rather be alone than be with people who are not in vibrational alignment with me. I felt the same way about the women on the dance floor — that I’d rather sit down and be Still within myself and just enjoy the flow of energy in my body than dance with a woman I did not feel aligned with. And it wasn’t even about looks either because every woman on the dance floor was beautiful tonight, and when every woman is beautiful, one has to go beyond looks…in fact, there was no judgment at all. There was just a sense of…moving-away-from-somebody, and moving-towards-somebody. That was it.
The more I moved into vibrational alignment with the Purpose of the Presence inside me, the more ecstasy I felt. At first a quiet ecstasy…
Eventually, I decided to leave early, after blues dancing with just one woman upstairs. That was one of themost enjoyable dances I ever had.
Then I left because I again felt that I’d rather enjoy the ecstasy of being with the Presence in solitude.
In fact, I did not go home directly. I stopped by the park and yelled out: “Yay! Yahoo! I love my life!!!” The ecstasy moved from a quiet, Still ecstasy to a Crescendo! I just wanted to walk around in that ecstasy. Then eventually, I laid down on the grass and just basked…in the energy-field of that Ecstasy, that Presence, that Stillness.
Thank you for reading.
So, if you would like to live this kind of amazing life, and experience this kind of happiness, then call the School asap and register for my upcoming class: (949)[masked] and show up. Also feel free to RSVP yes here. And if you are checking your email tonight, you might want to wait till tomorrow to call and register.
Thank you for listening.