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Single Parents - Divorced Adults Group Message Board › 1st Meetup Jitters

1st Meetup Jitters

A former member
Post #: 4 I have to ask.....i am not necessarily a shy person...but I seem to have problems actually getting myself to attending the first meetup....who else is experiencing this?? As an adult..this seems silly..but part of my quest is doing new things...the problem is actually DOING it...:) Filing for divorce..piece of cake to this...hmmmmm
Cathy P.
Madison, WI
Post #: 9
Hi Sarah! First of all, WELCOME! smile Glad you're here! And no, it doesn't seem silly, not one bit. It IS nerve-wracking to meet new people, but I'll tell you what-there is not a more welcoming group than this one! Walk in. Take a deep breath, see all the smiling faces, and you will be just fine. Here's a cyber-hug for you! Looking forward to seeing you soon!
user 6540411
Group Organizer
Madison, WI
Post #: 176
Hi Sarah! I second everything Cathy P said! I've been in the group 4 years and I still remember how hard it was to attend my first meetup. It's very common to feel nervous. But I can also tell you, without hesitation, that walking through the door is the hardest part. Cathy is right. The folks in this group are the BEST, so warm and friendly. I am certain you will feel at home right away.

If it would help, I'd be happy to meet you for coffee or lunch or something first, so the next time you want to attend an event you'll have already met one person. If this is of interest, just email me.

We look forward to meeting you soon!

A former member
Post #: 16
Very friendly people here Sarah, I'm quite amazed at how welcome they have made me feel. Seemingly for no reason. Of course they've all experienced the crazy rollercoaster of emotions that we all get from divorce. A very kind group of people!
Optimistic C.
Madison, WI
Post #: 66
Welcome to the best thing since sliced bread Sarah!

I remember my first meetup with SP-DA like it was last week!
It was at the Club Tavern in Middleton. I was SO nervous! I had a few conversations with myself on the way there. A little self motivation... "You can do this Chris"... etc.

The group was easy to find... thanks to the Elmo helium balloon.
Laura was the first to greet me and she introduced me to a couple of others... just to get me going. By the end of the night I was up on the dance floor - something I hadn't done in years :( I had a great time!

A word of advice...
IMHO a bar venue may not be a great choice for a 1st meetup. They can be loud and hard to have a conversation. However, if you like to dance - to heck with the conversation - this SP-DA group loves to "cut a rug".

Over the last 10 months I have chatted with several members who admitted to doing "drive-by's"... they got to the meetup but didn't have the courage to take those final steps. Every one of them laughs at it now!
When you are at a meetup, all you have to do is put your hand out and say, "Hello, my name is Sarah, how are you?"

I hope we will get to meet you VERY soon.
Cindy R
user 26664792
Oregon, WI
Post #: 5
Hi Sara,

It's okay to be nervous; but never let that stop you in life. I have only been to one meet up with this group (timing issues only) but with other groups I have been able to attend more meet ups. I have found that all the groups are filled with wonderful caring people. We are all in this together and want our circle of friends to be bigger and get out more. One new person stated they were coming to an event at a certain time and would someone meet her at the door. More than one of us watched for her and directed her to our very friendly group...and VOILA...she is attending a lot of meet ups. Bottom line...come on out and be part of the beats staying home any day of the week! Cindy

P.S. Any spelling issues are the fault of my MAC and not me. :)
A former member
Post #: 38
I lurked here for a while before getting up the courage to attend a meet up. I am a shy person, so it was a huge step for me to do something so outside my comfort zone. BUT... the people in the group were so nice. You know all the people you meet are going through the same things, struggling in their own ways. Everyone remembers their "first time" so they go out of their way to make new faces feel welcome. Really restores your faith in the kindness of people.

Give it a try and you won't regret it!
Carrie S.
user 9880629
Madison, WI
Post #: 17
I can remember my First Meetup...I connected with the people whom reached out to me for some support to get myself to the first one...This allowed me to attend with a member so I at least knew one person in the group. This helped me to actually attend...Thank you by the way Sara Watts! Talk about jitters that first one we all have experienced it! totally normal!!! :-) THis group of people are Fantastic and I haven't found hardly anyone I can't have fun with! I was only about 3 months into my separation before I attended my first Meetup, some may say it was quick but For me I had too just jump right in, spent way too long thinking..."shuda cuda wuda" In my past...I have done more in this City with this group than I ever had done many fun venues and activities I didn't even know existed! I am the youngest in the group so there was some hesitation with that as well, that people may not respond to me thinking I was too young or that I was only married for 5yrs but none of that mattered how long you were married....doesn't matter they are all so welcoming and caring. Becuz of this group I have come a really long way in a short amount of time and have built some extremely fantastic life long. new friendships along the way....If you need a first time buddy I am sure there are many wonderful people in this group including myself that would be willing to help you get to the first one! Take care and hope to see you soon:-)
A former member
Post #: 5
Thanks guys! I am looking forward to making it to one all seem super wonderful!
Mike C.
user 9590675
New Glarus, WI
Post #: 7
No to worry Sara. People join this meetup and others for their own reasons, but for most its just to connect with people that have similar interests. In this case the interest is usually knowing that there are others going thru the same divorce experience (which can be even more gut-wrenching than joining a meetup group!), having someone to talk to and get (non-professional) advice from, or having gone thru the divorce (as I have) - wanting to maintain the friendships and fun and to get ongoing support thru camaraderie. Welcome aboard and best wishes.
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